When I typed “dating an artist” into Google, what popped up was a complete guide on how to handle these weird, mysterious creatures that artists apparently are.
Hey, that hurt a little bit!
But truth be told, I was not shocked since I know very well what it’s like to be an artist and to be with an artist. It does get, let’s say, overwhelming.
Being an artist means you are able to feel deeply and connect with the world around you in ways that can be hard to explain. Therefore, dating an artist will be a completely new experience that will expand the way you perceive reality.
Pros And Cons Of Dating An Artist
Dating an artist has many advantages, but it can also get tricky at times.
Below, you’ll find the most common pros and cons when it comes to dating someone that leads a lifestyle that’s considered slightly unconventional.
5 Pros of dating an artist
1. They love hard
Actually, with everything they do, they go hard for it.
An artist is passionate about every aspect of their life. They’re not someone who will do things for validation or out of boredom or courtesy. They do things because of the inner passion that drives them. And they commit to whatever they are doing.
If you’re unsure about your feelings and what you want from them, then don’t go for this ride and step away in time. Save yourself and them from pain and disappointment.
2. They are honest
The artists I’ve dated were pure and honest, all of them. Being an artist means you express your deepest emotions and show them to the world without the fear of being judged. You don’t do it out of any other reason than pure love.
I don’t think you can get more honest than that.
They’ll be honest even when you don’t really want them to be. Artists will never say things just to make you feel better. They’ll tell it how they see it.
Hey, you asked for an opinion, don’t blame me now.
3. They will inspire you
This one is my personal favorite and the number one reason I think artists make great partners.
Dating an artist is by no means an average dating experience where you go out for drinks or “Netflix and chill.”
Dates will often be eye-opening and inspiring, such as going to exhibitions, concerts, or museums. You will get to know a lot of cool interesting stuff, learn so much, and develop a passion for new things.
Having conversations with them will make you think and rethink everything you thought you knew. Even a glimpse at their social media shows what a remarkably creative mind they have.
Artists have strong opinions about life and the world, and they will also pour some of that knowledge into you. They will inspire you to think freely, talk openly, and be your true authentic self.
4. They hang out with cool people
Artists usually have a wide circle of acquaintances, and most of them are from the art world too. You get to meet amazingly interesting people you didn’t even know existed.
For instance, I’d always found my hometown a boring and sad place until I met a couple of artists who showed me how beautiful and interesting the city was. I just wasn’t hanging out with the right people.
Meeting new people is not only a fun and interesting way to spend your free time, but it can also bring new opportunities for professional and personal growth. For example, you can meet people you’d want to collaborate with and start new creative projects.
5. They are great gift-givers
I’m not talking about expensive gifts and surprise trips to the Maldives (I’m not against this, though).
I’m talking about creative gifts that will reflect your most subtle desires. Creative people will pay attention to everything you say, remembering the slightest detail, and then come up with a very unique gift for you.
Such a gift will make you feel seen, appreciated, and loved.
I still keep some of the most beautiful and unique gifts my ex-boyfriends gave me. Not because I have feelings for the gift giver, but because the gift itself is a piece of art.
5 Cons of dating an artist
1. They have mood swings
Phases of profound inspiration and motivation will be followed by phases of utter desperation and depression. The circle is never-ending, and you never know what to expect next.
When they feel inspired, they will be happy. And you’ll be happy too.
But when they feel stuck and fight to find meaning in the things they are create, it will inevitably affect their love life.
If you think you have the power to change their mood swings and make them stress less, I have bad news for you.
2. They often don’t want to compromise
It’s no surprise, as they often choose to go against all odds when pursuing their passion. They fight hard and believe in their ideas, even when nobody else does, and they are not ready to compromise them.
They can often come off as aggressive when talking about their firm stances on a particular matter.
And they won’t go against their values and beliefs, even if it means causing a fight with a partner (or anybody else) or even a possible break up.
3. Relationships will come second
This is probably the biggest challenge you encounter when dating an artist. If you want someone who will put you and your relationship at the top of their list of priorities, then you’ve come to the wrong address.
Artists usually don’t work fixed hours. They work whenever they feel inspired. And when they are not inspired, they’ll actually often be depressed and stressed about it.
Being a devoted artist means serving a higher purpose all the time. It’s not a full-time job – it’s a never-ending one. Art is life.
That’s why artists often have a hard time separating their personal lives from their sacred callings. And whenever they have to choose what to put as a priority…well, it probably won’t be your romantic date night.
4. They know a lot of people (and this time it’s no fun)
Even if they may seem introverted and actually spend a lot of time in solitude, artists are still often very popular. They interact with lots of people and have connections everywhere they go.
That’s good for you when you are also there with them. But you won’t always be. If you have a tendency to become possessive and jealous, then dating an artist can turn into a nightmare.
Exhibitions, concerts, late-night parties, tons of projects that require frequent meetings and traveling, all of that will give them plenty of chances to meet new people. Some of whom may be really interesting and attractive.
Aren’t all famous artists prone to having flings?
I know your fear.
5. They won’t always want your presence
There will be days when you’ll crave their presence, but they won’t feel the same.
A beautiful sunny Sunday is a perfect time to spend time with your love somewhere outside the city. But your beloved artist wants to stay home alone. Or he’s gone for a walk in nature, without you.
Sometimes, they’ll be free and available, but they’ll choose to be alone. Artists generally need a lot of alone time, which won’t always be easy to deal with. It’s nothing personal, and it doesn’t mean they don’t love you. They just don’t need you all the time.
Ouch. Tough pill to swallow.
My Experience With Dating An Artist
I like to think of myself as an artistic person. Two things that I’m devoted to and that take up most of my time are writing and dancing. That’s a full-time job, but not a 9–5, more like 24/7.
I’ve dated artists of all kinds, and I’ve been with men who even outdid me in their passionate devotion to art. The experience I’ve had with each one of them is unique, but some things are common to all creative souls, regardless of the medium through which they express their creativity.
Artists, whether painters, musicians, sculptors, dancers, or word artists, are gifted with the ability to feel the world around them rather than to perceive it logically.
They are complex individuals who are able to spot all the subtle nuances and energies around them, which sometimes makes it hard to understand why they do the things they do.
Having an artist as a partner will open you up to seeing beauty in things you usually don’t notice or find beautiful. They will expand your horizons and inspire you to find deeper meaning in life and love. They’ll challenge you to grow and learn.
Having an artist as your significant other comes with great challenges too. They are difficult to understand a lot of time and can be self-absorbed and eccentric. But the hardest part is accepting that your relationship will come second more often than not.
3 Important Tips For Dating A Creative Person
So there are pros and cons of dating an artist?
Big deal. There are pros and cons of dating basically anyone. The right person won’t be right in every way, and you’ll always have to put in the effort for the relationship to work.
But if your partner happens to be a bit more on the creative side, then there are some things you’ll have to pay attention to.
Coming from an artist dating another artist (yup, my boyfriend is a musician), here are 3 important dating tips on how to date a creative person.
1. Appreciate their work and take it seriously
I can’t even stress this enough. Support is crucial in every relationship, and especially in relationships with people who are deeply devoted to their careers.
You might not always understand the things they are doing on a personal level. For instance, you don’t really get the whole concept of visual arts, and it’s not your cup of tea.
The thing is, you don’t necessarily need to understand it. Just understand that it’s important to them.
Try to be their biggest support – it will mean the world to them. And they will love you more for it.
2. Give them enough space
The creative process is complicated and consuming. When going through it, your partner will need space and solitude.
They need to remove all distractions so their minds can be completely focused on work. No matter how much they usually enjoy you two spending time together, now, they need to be left alone.
And if you keep pushing, they will keep running away from you. When this happens, I know how hard it can be not to take it personally. But it’s really not personal.
3. Focus on yourself
Your partner is happy doing what they love. There’s nothing they want more than for you than to be happy and fulfilled too.
Instead of going crazy when your partner is focused on their work, trying desperately to gain their attention, and feeling bad because you can’t be with them all the time, focus on finding your passion outside the relationship.
Relationships are a big source of our contentment, but they should not be the primary, or even worse, the only reason for our happiness. We should try to be fulfilled and happy on our own, and only then can we make a relationship truly wonderful.
Do Artists Make Good Lovers?
Some of the best lovers I’ve ever had were from the art world, so yes, I can confirm that artists make good lovers.
Being a good lover means fully connecting with your inner being and letting yourself feel all the emotions and sensations. Only then are you able to fully dive into the realms of pleasure and share it with another person.
They are also creative and maybe even eccentric, so standard boring things are not enough for them. They often want to explore and discover new ways of reaching absolute pleasure.
Need I say more?
To Wrap Up
Dating an artist is not the glamorous movie-like experience we often imagine it to be. Real-life artists are not much different from the rest of the world, and being with one is neither better nor worse than being with anybody else.
There are perks to dating a creative person and some challenges that come with it.
Challenges will be their need for independence and alone time, their eccentric natures, and their strong devotion to their work that will often make your relationship come second. If you are able to overcome those troubling spots, they will reward you with fervent love that will last a long time.