5 señales de que la regla del no contacto funciona (+5 señales de que no funciona)

It’s a well-known fact: if you’re trying to figure out cómo recuperar a tu ex, going no contact is the right choice. You know most of the rules, but one thing still bugs you: How will you know that you’ve succeeded?

That’s why I’m here. I’ve compiled a list of 5 signs the no contact rule is working. If you can relate to at least three of them, it means you’re on the right track.

5 señales de que la regla del no contacto funciona

If you’re wondering if the no contact rule is working, take a look at these 5 signs:

1. The world doesn’t revolve around your ex anymore.

Ya no esperará a que su ex para volver contigo. Ya no vinculas tu felicidad a tu relación con él. Lo que tuviste fue increíble, pero no tiene poder real sobre ti.

You’re able to appreciate the past without letting it affect you to the point where you’re unable to think about anything else.

En lugar de suspirar por él (lo cual está bien, por cierto, a menos que dure mucho tiempo), concentra toda tu energía en mejorar tu propia vida.

La vida sigue

Supongo que te has dado cuenta de lo más importante: ¡la vida sigue, con o sin ellos! Haces tus deberes con regularidad o te esfuerzas mucho por mejorar tu rendimiento laboral.

Te reúnes con tus amigos, encuentras nuevas aficiones y te embarcas en pequeñas aventuras de vez en cuando porque tu único objetivo es trae más felicidad a tu vida.

And, you’re aware that you don’t need your ex for that to happen.

As happy as they made you, they were only one part of your life. The other parts won’t crumble just because you lost this one.

As a matter of fact, you didn’t exactly lose it. The happiness you had will always be in your memories, which doesn’t make it any less important.

2. El crecimiento personal es tu prioridad.

One of the 5 signs the no contact rule is working is when you start realizing that the heartbreak that came with the breakup wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.

Now, don’t get me wrong. It’s never pleasant to cortar a un ser querido from your life. Of course, it’s going to hurt like hell. And, you should give yourself as much time as you need.

However, you know you’re doing okay when you don’t look at the past in anger. Whatever your ex did to you doesn’t affect you as it once did.

Desapego emocional del pasado

When you talk about them, you almost feel nothing. It’s as if the whole relationship happened to someone else; you just happened to be a spectator that’s retelling all the events now.

You don’t hold cualquier rencor or wish you could’ve done things differently.

There are no regrets because you’re aware that everything that happened helped you become the person you are today.

And, now you feel excited for the future and everything it holds because no matter how bad things seem, there’s always a lesson in everything.

As Rainer Maria Rilke once said: ”Let everything happen to you; beauty and terror. Just keep going. No feeling is final.”

Cuando encuentras consuelo en esta filosofía, sabes que has seguido adelante.

3. Tu bienestar es lo primero.

You’ve lost count of how many times you used to put your ex’s needs before your own. The relationship you had with them was at the top of your priority list. Nothing was more important.

Even if your world was crumbling down, you still came every time they needed you. Even after you broke up, you felt like all it would take was one phone call, and you’d be on your way.

But, not anymore…

Uno de los 5 signos que norma de no contacto está funcionando es que por fin te das cuenta de que tu vida gira en torno a TI. You’ve decided to build a healthy relationship with yourself, and self-improvement has become your number one priority.

Your ex no longer has power over you because you are now aware that they’re only a side character in your very own TV show.

El periodo de no contacto te hizo comprender que en realidad nunca los necesitaste, que mereces ser un poco más sé amable contigo mismo.

Cuidar de los demás es hermoso, pero se vuelve tóxico cuando lo utilizas para escapar de ti mismo.

You didn’t deserve the heartbreak you experienced, but at least it helped you see how much you needed your own love all along.

4. Ahora te fijas en los demás.

Antes estabas tan encaprichado de tu ex que apenas reconocías a otras personas atractivas.

No matter how good-looking they were, you didn’t give them more than a second of your time. You had the one you wanted, and no one else existed for you.

Por eso es probable que al principio, tras la ruptura, tuvieras dificultades.

Pero entonces empezaste a notar los cambios positivos que el periodo de no contacto trajo a tu vida. Definitivamente, ¡hay algo diferente en tu vida amorosa!

Suddenly, pretty people don’t escape your notice. More importantly, you start seeing them as potential partners. And, this makes you so happy.

Your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend isn’t on your mind anymore. Even when they are, you don’t really miss what you had. You don’t want them back.

You’ve come to terms with the fact that your relationship has ended, and while it was a great chapter in your life, you are more than ready to start a new one.

You allow yourself to be emotionally vulnerable with someone else because you’ve realized that life is too short, and you can’t grieve over one person forever.

One part of you will probably always care about them, but that doesn’t stop you from forming a connection with someone else.

Relaciones de rebote

Pero tengo que advertirte de algo importante: relaciones de rebote. Don’t get me wrong – volver a la piscina de las citas es un signo de gran progreso.

Sin embargo, exponerse es una cosa. Lanzarse a un nueva relación es algo completamente diferente.

You’re not ready for something serious just yet. If you try, you’ll just hurt yourself and break an innocent person’s heart.

So instead of trying to continue where you left off, give yourself some time to explore your options. Take it easy – this is not a race.

5. Tu ex empieza a acercarse a ti.

Una de las 5 señales de que la regla de no contacto está funcionando es cuando tu ex se acerca a ti. El tiempo que pasaron en este silencio de radio les hizo darse cuenta de cuánto te echaban de menos.

Maybe they won’t be direct about their intentions straight away, but one thing is for sure: ¡tu ex quiere volver contigo!

¿Cómo lo hacen?

They’ll do it through mutual friends or even your best friends and family. On the other hand, a lot of people send “accidental” text messages to their exes or snoop through their social media accounts and start liking all of their posts.

One way or another, when your ex contacts you after the no contact period, it’s a clear sign todavía te quieren and want you back. There’s no doubt about one thing: te echan de menos!

Sentirán especial curiosidad cuando vean la nueva vida que has creado para ti.

When they see how much you’re enjoying yourself in their absence, your ex will start wanting you more than ever.

They will be attracted to the new, happy you who is perfectly fine without them. And, that’s how you know that the no contact rule works.

It’s a sad truth, but the more you enjoy being without your ex, the more they want to be with you. Being rejected motivates them to win back your heart.

5 señales de que la regla del no contacto no funciona

1. You’re not following the rules.

Well, the first one is pretty obvious. You can’t expect the no-contact period to give you the desired results if you’re not following the basic rules.

Sé lo que debes estar pensando ahora, But I just sent him one text message. But it was his birthday. But I didn’t call him; I called his mum.

Don’t laugh. I know this is exactly how your mind works. The rule is not called “some contact” or “occasional contact.” It’s called “no contact” for a reason! It means complete silencio de radio durante un periodo de tiempo determinado.

Yes, it includes little things such as liking your ex-boyfriend’s pictures on their social media account and, of course, big things such as buying him a birthday present.

You can’t expect this to work if you modify the rules and do things your own way! I know that every situation is different, but relationship coaches around the world agree on this one, and I promise you they have more experience than you!

2. You’re obsessing over the breakup.

I know you’re trying to make your ex volver, but no contact won’t work if that’s the only thing you can think about. You should use this period for some serious self-improvement and even do your best to forget about him.

However, you’re doing everything besides that. You’re not spending time with your friends, you haven’t found a new hobby, and you’re most certainly not doing anything about your spiritual growth.

En vez de eso, lo único que haces es obsesionarte con tu reciente ruptura. Not just that: you reanalyze your entire relationship. You keep overthinking this person’s actions, and basically, you’re just patiently waiting for him to come back.

Don’t get me wrong: I know that your primary goal is to recuperar a tu ex. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here, would you?

Nevertheless, the no contact period won’t be beneficial if you sit around and count the days until it’s over. The goal is to distract yourself in the meantime and possibly do something good with your own life.

3. You’re stalking your ex.

So you’ve found a loophole. You’re not actually talking to your ex, you’re not sending him texts, nor do you call him.

But just because you don’t have any direct contact doesn’t mean you haven’t found a way to keep him in your life. Be honest. I know you’ve continued to stalk him!

¿Por qué está mal?

No, I’m not saying that you actually follow him around. But you do use the technology you can.

Aunque lo bloqueaste en todas las redes sociales, you’ve made tons of fake accounts to keep track of his activity. You’re in touch with his family and your mutual friends all the time.

Let’s face it. You’re not hanging out with them because you like them that much. You just want to get information about him.

Well, let me tell you something: they talk to him about you! I know that this is probably what you want, but trust me, it’s not the radio silence you’re going for.

This man has no feeling that you’re gone. He keeps hearing about you, and I bet he knows who is behind all those fake accounts.

As a result, he feels like you’re still around. This way, he doesn’t get the chance to miss you. At the same time, you don’t get the chance to get over him!

4. Te arrepientes de tu decisión.

It’s one thing not to be 100% sure about your decision. After all, you’re only human, and it’s normal to occasionally have second thoughts, especially when you’re in a crisis. Nobody told you this was going to go smoothly.

However, we’re not talking about short periods here. As far as you’re concerned, you should have never started this entire mess.

Truth be told, you regret going no contact, and if you could go back in time, you’d do everything differently. You keep on wondering cómo recuperar a tu exsin condiciones y sin preguntas.

¿Y ahora qué?

You won’t admit this out loud, but you’re ready to do whatever it takes to make your ex come back – even if it incluye la mendicidad y bajando el listón.

If this is something you can relate to, I hate to say it, but the no contact rule isn’t working! You’re focused on the wrong things, you’re sending negative vibrations into the Universe, and honestly, you likely won’t make it.

I don’t plan on dashing your hopes, but if you regret your decision so badly, I assume you’ll reach out to them soon. And that’s where we go back to the first of the 5 signs the no contact rule is not working.

5. Your ex doesn’t reach out.

Let’s get one thing straight: you’re doing all of this to recuperar a tu ex, am I right? So naturally, if your ex reaches out, it’s one of the 5 signs the no contact rule is working. On the other hand, if he remains silent, you haven’t gotten the desired results.

Hiciste todo según el manual, pero después de que el período de no contacto terminara, obtuviste sin noticias de él. Ocurre raramente, pero sigue ocurriendo.

Does it mean that you’ve done all of this for nothing?

¿Fue todo en vano?

Bueno, definitivamente no. After all, what else should you be doing? Don’t tell me it would be better if you begged him to come back.

Besides, I’m sure this period of time helped you as well. You’ve changed your focus, and whether you’re aware of it or not, the no contact period has helped your healing process.

I’m not saying that you’ve gotten over your ex completely. But hey, you think about other stuff other than just wondering if your ex wants to talk to you or not.

That’s some serious progress right there! Look at it this way: you’ve survived ¡sin esta persona durante tanto tiempo! ¿No es increíble?

¿Cuáles son las etapas del no contacto?

It depends on whether you’re the dumper or the dumpee. Did you go no contact, or did the other person go no contact first?

Como ya sabrá, el volquete decide romper la relación, mientras que el abandonado es la víctima. Como puedes imaginar, cada uno pasa por una gama diferente de emociones.

Si you’re the dumpeese experimentan las siguientes etapas:

Stage 1 – Heartbreak

Obviamente, you’re heartbroken. You can’t eat, sleep or breathe without this person. Los echas de menos like hell, and you’re ready to do whatever it takes just to get your ex back.

​For you, the Earth has stopped spinning. Life has lost its meaning, and you see no light at the end of the tunnel.

You’re shattered in pieces, and the only way to come back from the dead is for your ex to come back.

Stage 2 – Epiphany

After that, there comes an epiphany. You start to realize it’s better this way. You don’t need them in your life, and losing them was actually a blessing in disguise.

You can live without them, and you’ll survive this. Not just that: once you heal, you’ll be stronger than ever.

It’s like you’ve taken your rose-tinted glasses off and see this person for who they really are for the first time ever. They never deserved you, and you’re lucky they cut you off!

Stage 3 – Self-love

Por último, la guinda del pastel: amor propio. Aprendes a ponerte en primer lugar y a darte cuenta de lo que vales.

Instead of focusing on your past, you invest all of your energy in the future. You don’t mind being single. As a matter of fact, you enjoy it!

On the other hand, if you’re the one who ended the relationship, these are the stages you go through and the pensamientos que pasan por tu mente:

Stage 1 – Relief

Al principio, the dumper thinks they’ve made the decision of a lifetime. They finally got the strength to end this relationship. They’re single and free to do whatever they want, without anyone questioning their moves.

Stage 2 – Worry

Después de un tiempo, empiezan a preocuparse te perdieron. Their ex isn’t reaching out, isn’t that strange? Is it possible that they forgot about them?

Les guste o no, empiezan a cuestionarse su decisión.

Stage 3 – Jealousy and fear

La siguiente fase incluye muchos celos ¡y aún más miedo! Su peor pesadilla se hace realidad: la persona con la que contaban que siempre estaría ahí ha desaparecido de su vida.

Their ex isn’t reaching out, they’re not sending any hints, and it looks like they’ve really moved on with their life!

Stage 4 – Regret

No les queda más remedio que arrepentirse de su decisión. They fall into despair and agony. Now, they’re the ones going through heartbreak.

Finally, they suffer the consequences of their actions. They realize that this person’s absence is the worst thing that could ever happen to them, and they finally ver su valor.

Stage 5 – Reaching out

After all the thinking and analyzing, they’ve made a decision: they’ll do their best to tener una segunda oportunidad. Algunos serán directos y lo pedirán, mientras que otros lo harán de forma más sutil.

En cualquier caso, el resultado final es el mismo.

¿Cuánto tarda en surtir efecto la regla del no contacto?

El tiempo mínimo para la norma de no contacto 30 días, pero a veces puede durar hasta un año. 90 días. After this period of no contact is over, your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend will either come back to you, or you’ll get over them.

But please keep this in mind: you won’t make your ex miss you, nor will the no contact rule work if you don’t stick to the rules.

¿Cuál es el porcentaje de éxito de la regla de no contacto?

Según la mayoría de los entrenadores de relaciones, la tasa de éxito de la fase de no contacto es de alrededor de 90%. Eso significa que 9 de cada 10 personas contactan con sus ex de una forma u otra después de dejar de fumar y cortarlas completamente!

¿Qué le hace al hombre el no contacto?

Al principio de la fase sin contacto, most men feel anger and humiliation. Their ego is hurt more than their heart – they can’t believe their ex feels nothing for them anymore.

However, after a while, they get scared. They realize that their former partner is serious, and they keep on getting clear signs she’s moved on.

Finalmente, caen en la desesperación. Llegados a este punto, el hombre está dispuesto a hacer lo que haga falta para poner fin a esta agonía.

Concluyendo:

Being familiar with the 5 signs the no contact rule is working and 5 signs it’s not is essential! Si quieres alcanzar tu objetivo, tienes que tener claros tus progresos.

Are you headed in the right direction, or are you doing everything wrong? If you’ve realized you’ve cometió algunos errores, don’t see it as the end of the world – you still have enough time to make things right!