Let’s forget about sitcoms and romcoms just for a while. Girls get friendzoned too. And while it’s difficult to get friendzoned by a man you like, he’s also in an unpleasant situation.
Just imagine this scenario: your close friend or coworker tells you she likes you. Even though she is an attractive woman with a rocking personality, you don’t see her that way.
So, what do you do now? How to friendzone a girl without breaking her heart and harming her mental well-being?
Worry not because I’ve got a step-by-step guide on friendzoning someone while being a true gentleman in the process. Buckle up!
How To Friendzone A Girl
It’s actually pretty simple: all you have to do is follow each step mentioned below:
1. Treat her like one of your buddies
This girl is your platonic friend and maybe even your platonic soulmate. And I guess you have other platonic friends as well. If you’re not sure how to treat her, just imagine that she’s a guy.
No, you shouldn’t arm wrestle her or invite her to a soccer game if that’s not her thing. I’m talking about your relationship here – just act the same way you’d act with your male friends.
And make sure she sees it. Make sure she realizes that you treat her no differently than your buddies and that, basically, you don’t even notice she’s female.
Since you’re a true gentleman, this might be a bit tricky. I know that you respect and appreciate this woman. But even if you didn’t, you’d still feel the urge to open the door for her, buy her flowers on Women’s Day, or pay for her drinks.
I have to disappoint you, but if you’re trying to figure out how to friendzone a girl, you must stop doing this. I know you’re just trying to be nice, but trust me, all of these small acts of kindness are easy to misinterpret.
2. Tell her that you look at her like a sister
I’ll be honest with you: if you tell her this, you’re likely to break her heart. I mean, this is probably the last sentence you want to hear from someone you’re romantically interested in.
Nevertheless, it has to be done. This is the best way for this woman to realize that she stands no chance with you.
Besides, it’s not far from the truth. You really do care about her deeply, and you wish her all the best. You feel the urge to protect her, but you have no romantic feelings for her.
When we put it all together, she is like the sister you never had. Too bad she doesn’t see it that way.
3. Set her up with one of your friends
If you try and set this girl up with one of your guy friends, you’ll kill two birds with one stone. First and foremost, you’ll make it clear that you’re not into her. I mean, if you were, this would be the last thing you’d be doing.
But there is one more advantage to this master plan. At the same time, you’ll make this girl feel wanted and attractive.
You’re sending her the message that you think she’s worthy of love – it’s just that you can’t give her that type of love.
Besides, maybe she’ll find happiness with your buddy. Maybe he knocks her off her feet, and she forgets you ever existed.
The only flaw in this plan is your male friend. To be honest, this arrangement is not entirely fair to him. You know this girl has feelings for you, and you’re trying to set them up regardless.
But hey, it’s not like you’re forcing them into anything – you’re just giving them a chance to get to know each other better. Everything else is up to them.
4. Tell her you have a girlfriend
Here’s a pro tip: if an acquaintance or coworker is hitting on you or confesses her feelings for you, the best thing to do is tell her that you have a girlfriend. You don’t have to have “the talk” with her; it’s enough to casually mention you’re in a serious relationship.
Tell her how in love you are with your GF and that you two are planning on taking your relationship to the next level. This way, she’ll be too embarrassed to try getting you to notice her.
Besides, you’ve somehow taken the responsibility off your shoulders. It’s not that you don’t like her – you’re already taken.
However, you can’t use this awesome excuse when a close friend is in love with you. Sooner or later, you’d have to introduce your imaginary girlfriend to the world.
5. Talk to her about your love life
But here’s what you can do: you can talk about your past relationship with her. Even if you no longer have feelings for your ex, she doesn’t have to know that, does she?
Just ask her for a cup of coffee and tell her that you’ve been thinking about your ex-girlfriend a lot lately. You can even add that you two started talking again and that you’re considering getting back together.
If you don’t want to drag your ex into this mess, just start casually mentioning that you’re falling for some new girl in your life. You don’t have to say that you’re in a relationship just yet, but one thing is for sure: you’re in love.
Is this cruel? Absolutely yes! It will shatter this poor girl’s heart into a million pieces.
But trust me when I tell you that it’s one of the nicest ways to send her to the friendzone. At least she’ll know where she stands.
6. Don’t give her false hope
When you’re trying to figure out how to friendzone a girl, whatever you do, please don’t give her false hope. Trust me, it’s what will hurt her most.
Not only that: it will ruin her trust in men, and she might even stop believing in love. Do you really want to be responsible for all of that?
Always make sure that you act like you don’t even notice that she’s of the opposite sex. Yes, you care for her very much, but not in that way.
No matter what, you must tell her straight up. After all, we’re talking about a woman in love who will interpret everything you say or do as what she wants to hear and see in the blink of an eye.
That is why you have to be extremely careful around her.
Don’t flirt with her, don’t make deep eye contact, don’t pay her too many compliments, don’t use her to make other girls jealous, and don’t send any other body language signs that you’re into her.
7. Imply that she’s not your type
Once again, this is a hurtful way to friendzone a girl. But hey, a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do. Remember: you’re doing this to keep her heart from breaking even more.
You have to make this woman realize that she’s not your type. But please, you can’t say anything that might offend her when explaining this.
First of all, you won’t use her as an example at all. Let’s say that she’s blonde. You won’t tell her that you don’t like blondes. Instead, you’ll keep on checking out black-haired women and commenting on how crazy you are for that hair color.
For example, if a shy girl likes you, you can casually mention that you’re crazy about extroverted, outgoing girls.
You can do the same about different personality traits, but whatever you do, don’t play this game with a body type. Even if she’s the prettiest woman in the world, her insecurities will surely skyrocket.
8. No physical touch
The biggest difference between being just friends and being in a romantic relationship is physical intimacy.
I mean, you can spend a lot of your time with your good friends, text them all the time, and do other activities together. However, if you’re only friends with someone, you wouldn’t sleep with them, would you?
Well, let me tell you that the most efficient way to friendzone someone is to withhold physical touch. I know that this is your good friend, and you probably want to hug her every once and a while or kiss her on the cheek.
Trust me when I tell you that this is not the way to stay friends. Even though these touches are harmless to you, she might interpret them as body language signals that you like her.
So please, no holding hands, no cuddling, no hugging (except when you two greet), no touching her face, no putting your hand on her knee… That is, of course, unless you don’t want her to become your romantic partner.
9. Don’t show her pity
Just because you’re wondering how to friendzone a girl doesn’t mean she’s lost much. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not saying that you don’t have your own set of qualities or that you’re not an attractive guy. After all, she fell in love with you for a reason.
You might be the biggest catch in the world, but that doesn’t mean that you should feel sorry for her. Even if you are sorry for the way things turned out, never show pity.
Trust me, that will ruin her confidence even more than your rejection. And don’t try to act like you feel sorry for her under false pretenses – if you two are really good friends, she’ll see right through you.
If you behave like this, she’ll feel even more miserable. Without even being aware of it, you’re sending her an indirect message that she is unworthy of anyone’s love.
Okay, you obviously won’t put the word friendzone in your post’s caption – that would be too much and incredibly insensitive. But you can definitely use social media to send a message to this girl in real life.
Whenever you post a story or a photo with her (or share her post), add a bunch of friendship hashtags or gifs. You can even use a friendship status and captions whenever you’re posting anything involving her online.
This way, all the other girls in your followers’ list will know that she is your best friend and nothing more.
Here’s another thing you should pay attention to: don’t reply with fire or heart emojis to her stories and don’t pay her too many compliments in the comments. This is another thing that might get her hopes up.
Besides, this is how you treat a girl you’re hitting on – not your best friend.
11. Do it as soon as possible
The worst thing you can do is postpone this talk. If you’ve noticed that this woman is falling in love with you, you have to burst her bubble as soon as possible. I know that this is something you’d rather not do, but guess what? Nobody will do your dirty work for you.
This is especially important if she has confessed her feelings for you. If she’s just hinting and using body language signs to show you that she’s into you, you also can do the same back. However, if she’s spilled her heart out to you, she’ll expect an answer.
Besides, if this girl was brave enough to tell you she loved you, the least you can do is also be brave and tell her you don’t feel the same way. The longer you put it off, the worse her heartbreak will end up being.
So, be a man about it, set up a get-together without anyone else, and tell her everything that’s on your mind. Just make sure she doesn’t confuse this invitation with a date!
12. Explain your reasons for friendzoning her
Of course, you don’t have to explain the reasons why you’re putting her in the friendzone. You have the right to be attracted to whomever you want and not to be attracted to whomever you don’t want.
However, if you want to remain good friends, it would be nice to explain yourself. Don’t be cruel, and don’t think of only telling her that you don’t like her.
I’m not saying you should justify yourself. Just tell her that you don’t see her as a potential romantic partner, that you’re still in love with your ex, or that you just want to be single at the moment.
This way, her dignity will remain intact. And that should be your intention in the first place.
She’ll realize that you’re not turning her down because she’s not worthy of your love, because you don’t see her qualities, or because you’re out of her league.
This is a kind of “it’s not you – it’s me” situation. And it doesn’t really matter whether what you’re saying is empty words – the point is to repair as much damage as possible.
13. Don’t use her as an ego boost
Here’s another thing you should never do: don’t take advantage of this girl’s feelings. I know that her love has had a positive impact on your self-confidence but think of the stakes if you start using her as an ego boost.
This is pretty much how it goes: the girl you’re into rejects you, you break up with the woman you loved, or you’re just going through a dry period. So you end up feeling bad about yourself. Your confidence disappears, and you start feeling unlovable and think that no other woman will ever want you again.
And then you remember this girl. You know that she is desperately in love with you, and you decide to give her a ring. Or maybe you tease her, send her some mixed signals just to rock the boat and revive her feelings.
She gives you a much-needed ego boost, and off you go, continuing on with your life. In the meantime, she is left heartbroken once again.
So please, be fair and don’t even think about doing this. In fact, make sure you don’t do it unconsciously either, just because her attention suits you.
14. Offer her your friendship
Now that you’ve established her position in your life, there is no need to cut this girl off. On the contrary, it’s your job to tell her that you two can still remain the same friends you were before all of this.
As far as you’re concerned, you’ll treat her the same way you treated her before she started growing feelings for her. You won’t talk to anyone about this, and you’ll never mention it again.
Show her that you consider your friendship strong enough to overcome this obstacle. This is nothing but a phase.
Besides, you love her (as a friend) enough not to let her go so easily. She hasn’t done anything to hurt you, betray you, or endanger your friendship.
15. But understand if she declines
However, you have to prepare yourself for the possibility of this girl turning your offer down. If she tells you that she can’t be just friends, don’t see it as blackmail.
Make it clear that you’re sad about her decision, but don’t make a big scene about it – it will only make things more difficult for her. Don’t try convincing her to stay.
Remember that she’s cutting you off to heal in a healthy manner. You know what they say: out of sight, out of mind.
Well, this girl couldn’t stand looking at you without being able to kiss you or text you without telling you she loves you. Most importantly, she couldn’t stand seeing you with other women.
Therefore, if she thinks this is for the best, you have no other choice but to wish her good luck. Who knows, maybe she will come back into your life after she gets over you. Then, you can continue where you left off and be friends again.
Can A Guy Friendzone A Girl?
Yes, a guy can friendzone a girl, and it happens more often than you might imagine. Even though movies and pop culture, in general, try to persuade you that women are the only ones friendzoning men, it goes both ways.
Forget the notion that a guy would be with every girl in the world if he had the chance. No, not every man will take the chance and try to sleep with a woman who likes him.
Some of us are decent enough to tell a girl how we really feel, even if that means hurting her feelings.
How Do You Text Friendzone?
If you want to friendzone a girl who you’re texting on a regular basis, you have to start by sending her fewer texts. I’m not telling you to ignore the poor girl completely, but you don’t have to send her a good morning text every day either, do you?
Reply as a gentleman when she texts you, but try to leave it at that. Be as polite as possible, but don’t start new topics or engage in deep conversations.
Don’t send her innuendos or flirty jokes. I know it might be funny to you, but trust me, she sees it as a glance of hope.
Finally, it would be great if you could stop with heart and kissing emojis. If she’s your friend, I’m sure you have a habit of kissing her good night or replying with a heart reaction to her stories, but that has got to end.
How Do You Ask A Girl To Be Friend Zoned?
If she confesses her feelings for you, just tell her that you’d like to be friends. It would be nice if you could elaborate on your answer.
For example, you can tell her that you don’t want to ruin your friendship or that you simply don’t see her in a romantic way. Make sure she knows that you’re not doing this because you don’t find her physical looks or personality attractive.
But what if she doesn’t make the first move, but you see that she’s developed feelings for you? In that case, you’ll have to be more subtle. Just tell her that you have a girlfriend or that you’re in love with someone else. Trust me, she’ll get the hint!
To Wrap Up:
Since you’re wondering how to friendzone a girl, I suppose you’re sure about what you’re doing. Don’t get me wrong – I’m not trying to convince you into liking her.
At the end of the day, you have the right to like whomever you want. However, I just want you to think things through before acting on them.
I’d hate to see you regret your actions.
On the other hand, if you realize that this is what you really want to do, please, don’t let guilt get the best of you. You’ve done nothing wrong.
On the contrary, this is much fairer than leading her on and letting her daydream about you two ending up together. Trust me, you can be proud of yourself for playing things like a perfect gentleman.