Breakups are hard, but with time, you get over it. If you’re still hung up on an ex after some time has passed, you’re probably wondering if breaking up was the wrong choice.
Couples break up for many reasons that can’t be overcome at the time, but that can change. For instance, if a long-distance relationship seemed too hard, but now you and your partner live closer.
When you weren’t ready to break up or the reasons you broke up don’t matter anymore, and both you and your ex can’t seem to let each other go, you might be having second thoughts.
If your relationship before the breakup was a generally happy one, you might be looking for signs you and your ex are meant to be.
We’ll take a look at what those signs might be, as well as how to tell that splitting up with your ex was a good thing.
15 Clear Signs You And Your Ex Are Meant To Be
Signs that you and your ex are meant to be aren’t difficult to pinpoint.
However, since you have broken up, it’s important to see what’s different and how to tell if your ex wants the same.
1. You broke up too soon
Just because your breakup was amicable and didn’t leave you bitter and at each other’s throats doesn’t have to mean that you’re meant to be together. But if you’re still hung up on your ex, and your ex misses you, it might not have been the time to break up.
Wanting to change something about the relationship can confuse you into thinking that your partner isn’t right for you.
Even when both partners are invested and willing to work on the relationship, you can still misinterpret each other’s and your own intentions.
Often, breakups can happen when mental health matters make you feel overwhelmed. In reality, it might have been something personal you had to work on and take your time to mature and accept yourself.
2. You didn’t want to break up
Sometimes we break up for reasons that are out of our control. Work, family problems, distance – life happens, and we have to make hard choices.
You might have broken up for a reason you don’t even remember anymore, or it might have been something small that was only important at that moment.
You weren’t ready to break up, and now the situation that led to it in the first place has changed or can be resolved.
Breaking up because of external factors can make you feel like the breakup happened to you instead of you and your partner making a decision to split up.
If you’re regretting the breakup and the circumstances that caused it no longer exist, it might be time to get your ex back.
3. There are no hard feelings
Breakups inevitably cause pain. Unless this pain is dealt with, it can often escalate into anger towards the other person.
If you broke up without hurting each other, the pain of the breakup is easier to handle. Your sadness is not caused by your partner but by the fact that you separated.
In a breakup that causes no resentment towards your ex, you’re able to communicate, as you don’t feel the need to hurt each other further because of your own pain.
When you’re not mad at each other, re-establishing a relationship based on appreciation and acceptance is less difficult.
Moreover, being able to connect with each other and laugh together even after breaking up is one of the signs you and your ex are meant to be.
4. You stay in touch
Some exes don’t want anything to do with each other after a breakup.
If you and your ex-partner are still not only keeping in touch but spending time together, your relationship might deserve a second chance.
Relationship advice books and articles often emphasize the so-called “no contact rule,” where you’re not supposed to interact with your ex at all for a certain period of time. This might not apply to you.
If your ex-boyfriend or girlfriend goes beyond keeping in contact, and you’re actually engaging in proper communication and sharing things with each other, the basis of a healthy relationship is still there.
Being friends with your ex sometimes seems impossible, but if there’s still genuine friendship and understanding between you, it may be one of the signs you’re meant to be together.
5. Your core beliefs are similar
A healthy long-term relationship is only possible when the differences between you and your partner don’t matter or have a solution. When you’re considering getting back together, this is even more significant.
A similar worldview and the way you approach life are of the utmost importance if you are to build a life together. There are some convictions that can make or break a relationship, even when everything else works.
Your stance on marriage, having children, religion, and political beliefs, among others, need to match. This could either mean that they are the same or very similar, or that one of you doesn’t place great importance on it.
Look for fundamental values among the signs you and your ex are meant to be.
6. You’re in the same place
Recognizing that the both of you are on the same journey – wanting the same things in life – is a good sign when you’re considering getting back together.
Being at the same stage with regard to your views on life and where you want to go reveals a great deal of compatibility.
Wanting the same kind of relationship and having the same expectations could mean breaking up may not have been the right decision.
If neither of you is trying to move on, your past relationship probably wasn’t meant to end.
If your ex keeps including you in their plans because they think about you when they think about their life, and the same goes for you, give it another go.
7. You still feel a connection
While you were in a relationship with your ex, you wondered if this person was your soulmate. You understood each other on a fundamental level. So how come you broke up?
As we mentioned earlier, there are many reasons for a breakup, some of which have nothing to do with how we feel about our partners.
When all is said and done, if time still stops when you’re together and a liberating feeling of being able to be yourself is still there, then you’re probably meant to be together.
When you click with someone, there’s a sense of permission to be open and vulnerable. If you broke up and you both still feel a strong connection with each other, you might want to reconsider.
8. You appreciate each other
Couples that accept each other have a solid foundation for a happy relationship. When you feel that your partner doesn’t judge your habits, opinions, or quirks, you feel cherished and welcome.
When your partner doesn’t take you for granted and acknowledges you for being yourself and doing the things they do, they show their appreciation. This helps you try harder and strive to become the best version of yourself.
Among the signs you and your ex are destined to be together, genuine regard for each other as people ranks high.
If you appreciated and respected each other while you were together and continue to do so, you still bring out the best in each other.
9. You still trust each other
One of the reasons people form relationships is to feel that they’re not alone. Facing the world with a partner is easier, and we look for someone who has our back.
When partners who are each other’s biggest support split up, the distance caused by the breakup can leave you in a precarious state.
However, if you still feel like you can rely on them, it’s one of the signs you and your ex are meant to be.
Giving your partner your trust takes time, and breaking that trust only takes a moment.
If your ex made you feel secure while you were together, and when you meet up these days, you still feel like you can place your trust in them, there’s a good chance that your ex wants you back.
10. You’re still attracted to each other
Attraction depends on more than just looks, so when someone you once found attractive doesn’t draw you in anymore, it’s usually caused by either a change in them or negative emotions.
If you and your ex still have a spark, there may be a chance that the physical attraction you feel is built upon the fact that you still like each other.
Expressing the attraction you feel by flirting with each other over drinks or through text messages might be fun, but moreover, it really shows that a mutual interest and desire to get back together exists.
Being attracted to each other and feeling comfortable enough to express it might mean that your breakup wasn’t supposed to happen.
11. Your sex life was great
Sex is such an important part of a romantic relationship because sexual compatibility is influenced by every other aspect of our personalities and how we relate to each other.
A good sex life depends a great deal on how comfortable you feel with the other person.
In your relationship with your ex, if you were able to enjoy your bodies without shame or insecurity and express your desires without inhibitions, your sex life was healthy and rewarding.
If your relationship was based on both emotional and sexual attraction, and you had happy experiences together, dating other people might feel underwhelming. The thrill you felt with your ex can’t be easy to replicate.
True emotional and sexual compatibility is valuable because it’s so rare, and it’s definitely one of the signs you and your ex are meant to be.
12. You could handle the difficult things
When things got hard, you were a team. By facing issues as a couple, you and your ex were able to overcome them.
If the breakup happened even though you were able to successfully handle not only external problems but the issues between the two of you, it might mean that you made the wrong decision.
Couples argue, but how you handle those arguments shows whether the relationship has potential.
If the arguments with your ex didn’t turn into attacks on each other and ended constructively, you were still there for each other.
Resolving your conflicts in a way that brings you closer instead of staying angry after every fight is among the signs you and your ex are meant to be.
13. You enjoyed your time together
Relationships aren’t only about the good times, but it matters that you’re happy more often than not in your relationship.
Being able to find comfort and a sanctuary from the stress of everyday life in your ex while you were together is one of the legit signs you’re meant to be together.
To share a sense of humor is to get each other. If you were best friends that could laugh together, it shows that you share a deeper connection.
If you could enjoy the small things and keep the relationship fun, it could mean that you weren’t ready to break up.
14. You can’t picture your life without your ex in it
The first time you tried a new relationship after breaking up, you were disappointed and thought you should keep trying. Eventually, you realized that you couldn’t find those feelings with anyone who isn’t your ex.
Do even your friends and family members love your ex and want you together, and theirs feel the same way about you? It’s a good sign you should try again.
If you think of them as “the one” or “the one that got away,” if you miss them not out of a sense of nostalgia but a sense of loss, these are signs you and your ex are meant to be.
When you consider your relationship with your ex with honest feelings and no wishful thinking, when you accept the facts and what they tell you, what does your gut feeling say?
15. Both of you want to be together
Before trying to get your ex back, don’t assume they share your wish. Make sure to explicitly find out if they want the same.
There’s a great chance that both of you will reach out if you miss each other.
Whatever the reason for your break up – being stuck in a routine, something not within your power, or a lapse in judgment – if the both of you are willing and able to forgive each other shows readiness to work on getting back together.
It’s of great importance to leave the past in the past and that neither of you is holding a grudge.
The both of you should be willing to do whatever it takes to solve the issues that lead to your breakup to make sure it doesn’t happen again.
When Should You Give Up On An Ex?
You should give up on an ex when you know that your relationship was more often unhappy than happy and when it seems that it can’t change for the better.
When you realistically think about how you feel and what your future with your ex might look like – and admit to yourself that you’re better off without them – follow what your gut tells you.
If you read all about the signs you and your ex are meant to be and didn’t recognize yourself in any of them, instead of wasting your energy on something that isn’t good enough for you, try focusing on yourself at this time.
This way, when someone you can have a good relationship with comes along, you’re ready to welcome them.
Let’s take a closer look at some signs that you should let a relationship go.
• The reason you broke up is unforgivable
Some things can’t be undone.
If your ex has betrayed you in ways that hurt you deeply, forgiving them might be impossible. Trying to do so would only be forcing something that isn’t there, causing you more pain.
• Your relationship can’t be fixed
Moreover, if your arguments always ended with the both of you mad at each other instead of a problem being solved, breaking up might have been the right idea.
Isn’t a good, happy, healthy relationship with someone who appreciates you what you deserve?
• Your values are not the same
If you disagreed because one of you wanted kids and the other didn’t, neither of you will probably back down.
Unless one of you has undergone a significant change of heart, deep-seated convictions like that remain.
One of you conceding can only lead to resentment down the line.
It might be hard to accept if you feel that you want your ex back, but if it was impossible to agree on the big things the first time around, getting back together won’t change this.
• They make it clear they’re not interested
When your ex lets you know that they don’t want to get back together, as hard as it may be, you should respect it.
Doing things that keep them in your life, such as checking your ex’s social media, will only hurt you, especially if they’re already in a new relationship.
Pulling back and accepting the breakup is an act of kindness towards yourself.
If you can be honest with yourself instead of clinging to false hope, you’ll be able to let go and move on much sooner. Your future waits just around the corner!
• They don’t respect your boundaries
You don’t have to get back with your ex just because they won’t stop telling you they want you back.
Maybe you’re thinking about it because you were together for a long time, or because you might think that finding a new relationship is going to be hard.
Unless you really want to be with them, breaking up was the right thing to do, and your ex should accept it.
The reason you’re looking for signs you and your ex are meant to be might be that you’re trying to convince yourself to get back together even though deep down you know it’s over.
Once you decide that the breakup is final and let them know, your ex should respect your boundaries and stay away.
• The relationship wasn’t healthy
Toxic relationships can seem exciting at first, but they will soon hurt you. Drama and intensity can make you think there’s a real spark where there isn’t.
Arguing with your partner one moment and professing your love the next, living with fears and doubts that are a constant source of conflict causes insecurity and self-doubt.
Struggle is not what a relationship should be about. A healthy relationship is one that makes you feel good about yourself, and that’s what you deserve.
Breakups can happen for reasons no more serious than needing a change or because of something that you can never forgive.
Sometimes you forget your ex ever existed, and sometimes you change your mind about the breakup.
If your ex used to feel like home, and you believe that they’re the one that got away, trying to get them back can be complicated.
Fortunately, if you followed this article, you might have some idea on how to tell whether it’s something you should do.