Cause e segni di problemi di fiducia (+modi provati per superarli)

Trust issues are a complicated matter and something that loads of people deal with. It’s a common relationship problem among many couples who don’t have the capacity to address it the right way.

If you find it impossible to trust people, you’ve come to the right place. If you read on, you’ll find out all the possible causes and symptoms of trust issues. Not only that: you’ll also get a detailed tutorial on how to deal with this problem in the healthiest way possible.

Perché ho problemi di fiducia?

Problemi di fiducia sono collegati alla vostra esperienza di vita precedente. Non appaiono mai senza un motivo e sono sempre collegati a traumi del passato.

It’s possible that you’ve been neglected, mistreated, abused, or tradito in passato. Di conseguenza, si perde la fiducia nell'intero genere umano e si fa fatica a fidarsi di chiunque, comprese le persone con cui si ha un rapporto stretto.

Ecco le cause più comuni dei problemi di fiducia.

1. Traumi nella prima infanzia

Una delle prime cause dei problemi di fiducia deriva dalla prima infanzia. A quest'età, chi si prende cura di voi significa tutto per voi.

They’re the most important person for a small child: someone you look up to and someone who sets a value system. It’s their job to provide you safety and comfort.

So, what happens when they fail in doing so? What happens when they’re the ones who put you in danger and show that they’re not trustworthy? E se foste trascurato emotivamente da bambino?

You learn that those closest to you won’t fulfill your needs. Se il vostro assistenti abused you, didn’t give you enough love, safety, or comfort, what can you expect from the rest?

Erano la vostra finestra sul mondo e vi hanno mostrato che il mondo è un posto spaventoso. Quale altra possibilità avevi se non quella di agire di conseguenza?

2. Trauma relazionale passato

Your past relationships are the number one cause of your relationship trauma. It’s actually pretty simple:

Se avete sperimentato l'infedeltà, vi aspettate che anche il vostro prossimo partner sia infedele. Se siete stati maltrattatisi aspetta un abuso nel suo nuova relazione. The examples are endless, but I’m sure you get the point: your Il vecchio dolore è ciò che ti spaventa.

This is especially true if you’ve experienced some of this trauma in your first serious relationship. In that case, you don’t know better.

You think that this is normal, and it’s how all relationships look. You’re always on the lookout waiting for a disaster to happen. These are all signs of relazione PTSD.

Without being aware, you’ve adopted modelli di relazioni tossiche as the only option. You might not be aware of it, but you’re dragging your emotional baggage along and it’s weighing you down.

3. Stile di attaccamento ansioso

I’m sure you’ve heard of different stili di attacco. In sintesi, esistono quattro diversi stili di attaccamento: Sicuro, Ansioso-attaccamento/preoccupato, Dismissivo/evasivo, e Pauroso-evitante.

Well, if you’re struggling with trust issues, it’s likely that you have an stile di attaccamento ansioso.

I’ll be harsh with you here: you’re needy and have low autostima. Si tratta di un tipo di stile di attaccamento insicuro.

In che modo è collegato ai problemi di fiducia?

You’re terrorizzati dall'idea di essere abbandonati, e perdere la persona amata is your biggest nightmare. You’re constantly alla ricerca di una convalida e la reattività emotiva del partner.

Isn’t that how we all feel? Well, yes, to a certain point. The problem with your style of attachment is that these fears and needs become irrational to the point where they control all of your meaningful relationships.

Per dirla semplicemente, if you don’t get the amount of approval and security you wish for from a partner, your problemi di fiducia esploderà. You’ll immediately feel unloved and emotionally neglected.

Consequently, you assume that they’re being unfaithful, that they’re about to leave you, or that they’ve had enough of you. And, you know what’s the worst part? Nothing they say or do can change your mind.

5 segni di problemi di fiducia

Quali sono i problemi di fiducia? Si tratta di gelosia o ci sono altri problemi di fiducia? segnali di problemi di fiducia di cui dovreste essere consapevoli? Ecco i sintomi più comuni che le persone che combattono con la sfiducia affrontano quotidianamente.

1. Sovrappensiero e preoccupazione

Quando si soffre di mancanza di fiducia, pensare troppo ogni piccolo dettaglio della vostra vita. Non solo: vi preoccupate anche eccessivamente.

You’re simply incapable of relaxing, going with the flow, and seeing where life will take you. Instead, it’s like there is this tiny voice in the back of your head that makes you plan literally everything ahead.

You worry about the past, even though you can’t change it. You worry about the future, including the things you can’t really impact.

At the end of the day, you don’t spend any time living in the presence and enjoying the moment.

Analizzate ogni parola che le persone vi dicono. Sezionate ogni loro mossa, cercando di trovare un significato nascosto.

Passate la maggior parte del tempo a preoccuparvi e a pensare troppo, invece di vivere davvero. Cercate di smettere di pensare troppo and you’ll see you’ll be better in no time.

2. Aspettarsi il peggior risultato possibile

Do you know what’s the biggest problem about this overthinking of yours? It always brings you to the darkest scenario, no excuses.

Well, guess what… you’re not a born pessimist, you just need to learn how to build trust in others. Until that happens, you’ll keep expecting the worst possible outcome, no matter the situation.

Why do you do this? It’s actually your defense mechanism.

Pensate che sia più facile che il vostro cuore si spezzi se lo avete previsto. Se le cose negative accadono, ve le aspettate già e in parte le avete anche affrontate in anticipo.

It won’t catch you off guard, and it will break you less. Nevertheless, if things turn out to be the best, you’ll be positively surprised.

It sounds like a win-win situation. Except it’s not!

It’s a segno di problemi di fiducia profondamente radicati e qualcosa su cui dovete lavorare il prima possibile.

3. Condivisione insufficiente

Do you know what’s oversharing? It’s the habit of giving away your own secrets and generally talking too much about yourself.

Well, you’re doing the opposite – you undershare. You keep everything to yourself.

You don’t talk about your problems to your persone care, tanto meno agli estranei.

Newsflash: it might even be more dangerous than oversharing. You’re dealing with serious feelings of mistrust because you think you have to deal with all of your troubles by yourself.

4. Autosabotaggio

You’re frequently sabotaging your own happiness. This especially happens in your intimate relationships when you decide non affezionarsi.

The moment you see that your romance is turning into a meaningful relationship, your trust issues activate. There comes a moment in your relationship when you’re expected to open up to your romantic partner and let them all the way in.

But, instead of doing that, you decide to run for your life. It’s better for you to leave them in time before you give them a chance to spezzarti di nuovo il cuore, giusto?

Beh, sbagliato! When you’re doing this, you’re not giving yourself the slightest chance of being happy.

I know you’re scared, but this way, you’ll never build a close relationship with anyone. And, I promise that you’ll be missing out on a lot.

5. Tenere le persone a distanza

​You keep everyone as far away as possible. I’m not talking about your new relationships here only.

Tenete a distanza i vostri familiari, i partner romantici, i colleghi di lavoro, gli amici intimi, letteralmente tutti.

If you’re being honest, you don’t trust anyone in this world to the fullest… no one but yourself.

Look, it’s great that you’re being careful. There are bad people out there who really will take advantage of your kindness.

Ma non tutti sono così e bisogna avere fiducia nella loro affidabilità.

Come si risolvono i problemi di fiducia? Superare i problemi di fiducia in 8 passi efficaci

I’m warning you: escaping your behavioral patterns is never easy. But, once you analyze the problem, find the cause, and accept that you have it, everything is much easier.

Yes, that’s exactly what I’m saying: fixing your deeply rooted trust issues is possible. You just have to follow these steps on your healing journey.

1. Parlarne apertamente

First of all, let me tell you that your low level of trust is nothing to be ashamed of. A lot of people deal with trust issues – the irony is that they don’t trust anyone enough to talk about it.

Well, don’t be like them. The first step towards solving a problem is acknowledging you have one.

La prima persona con cui parlare del vostro sentimenti di sfiducia to is you. Once you do that, you’re ready to have this conversation with others who are close to you.

I’m not saying that you should reveal your personal details to everyone as soon as you meet them. But, for example, if you see that la vostra relazione sentimentale sta diventando seriaSiate onesti con il vostro partner.

Tell them that it’s not their fault, and that some of your relationship problems will be caused by your lack of trust. Ask them for patience and understanding, and make sure they know you’re working on your issues.

2. Lavorare per migliorare la propria salute emotiva e mentale

Avere problemi di fiducia non è una malattia mentale, ma di sicuro ha un grande impatto sulla vostra salute emotiva e mentale. Di solito va di pari passo con sentimenti di solitudinegelosia e bassa autostima.

Basically, what I’m trying to tell you is that these are also the things you should focus on during your healing process. You’ll have a hard time fixing your lack of trust if you don’t deal with your mental well-being in general.

3. Abbracciare l'ignoto

You never know what tomorrow will bring. I know that this fact freaks you out, but that’s life and you have to deal with it, whether you like it or not.

Il processo di ricostruire la fiducia in others starts once you embrace this scary realization. Of course, this doesn’t mean that you should act completely careless.

You still have a huge impact on your life, but some things are meant to be and you can’t do anything about it.

Quindi, if you plan on keeping yourself sane, you’ll have to let go of control. Mi dispiace dirvelo, ma le cose brutte accadranno e non c'è modo di evitarle.

People will break your heart, your intimate relationships will fail, and friends will betray you. Having trust issues won’t protect you from that.

4. Accettare alcuni rischi

That’s why you have to pick your battles. Not everyone is worthy of you giving them a chance to be in your life.

Tuttavia, molte persone lo sono. Alcuni sono degno di rischiare tutto con loro.

At the end of the day, you just have to accept some risks. You can’t always play it safe.

Well, technically you can, but if you do, I guarantee you one thing: you’ll miss out on a lot.

You can choose to live your life safe from emotions. You’ll manage to avoid some negative emotions. It’s likely that you’ll reduce your chance of feeling sad, angry, or betrayed.

But, at what cost? Trust me when I tell you that at the same time, you’ll also deprive yourself of happiness, love, intimacy, and connection with your loved ones.

5. Don’t be afraid to face your fears

You’re scared of giving your entire self to another person without holding anything back – I get it. You’re paura di amare.

The trick is to face those fears. If you want to chase them away successfully, you have to look them deeply in the eyes and show them that you’re in charge here.

I’ll be honest with you: ignorare le proprie paure è molto più facile. Ma, consapevolezza di sé è uno dei primi passi verso la guarigione.

Prima si ammette di avere un problema, prima lo si risolve in modo sano.

6. Lasciare andare le esperienze passate sbagliate e

A painful past is a common cause of trust issues. That’s exactly why you simply must let it go if you want to make any significant progress.

The past burdens you. The future scares you. And, what about the presence? Well, it’s slowly passing by you while you’re too busy dealing with these other two.

Don’t worry… history doesn’t always repeat itself. Just because you had a painful experience in the past doesn’t mean that all of your current relationships will end up the same way.

You can’t allow a traumatic event to dictate your entire life. Lasciare andare il passato!

You can’t change it, but the presence is in your hands only. And, the future will be much brighter if you fix your broken trust in time.

7. Permettetevi di provare a fidarvi di nuovo degli altri

Remember: baby steps. You’re dealing with a serious issue here, and you can’t expect everything to fall in its place overnight.

Si tratta di un processo che richiede molto tempo, energia e impegno.

You can’t make yourself trust everyone all of a sudden. But, what you can do is allow yourself to try fidarsi degli altri – per cominciare.

Fate del vostro meglio per scacciare i pensieri intrusivi che vi vengono in mente ogni volta che pensate di far entrare qualcuno. Allenatevi a fidarvi del genere umano.

Cominciate a fidarvi di me: questi passi vi aiuteranno a capire come superare i problemi di fiducia.

8. Sapere quando cercare aiuto

If this is something you can’t deal with on your own – that’s perfectly fine. In fact, realizing that you need help in the process of rebuilding trust means that you’re on the right path.

Try asking your family members, friends, or romantic partner to give you a hand on this journey. But, if you see no progress or think that they couldn’t grasp what you’re dealing with, go see a mental health professional.

Esistono numerosi metodi efficaci che il vostro professionista della salute mentale potrebbe essere utilizzato per aiutarvi a risolvere il vostro problema. CBT (Terapia cognitivo-comportamentale) è uno di questi.

Questo è ottimo perché vi aiuta ad andare alla radice del vostro problema. Avete problemi di fiducia nelle relazioni a causa di esperienze dolorose passate?

Avete uno stile di attaccamento ansioso? La relazione con i vostri caregiver è la causa principale della vostra fiducia infranta?

Il vostro professionista della salute mentale vi aiuterà a capirlo. Non solo: vi guiderà anche nel processo di guarigione.

Come si chiamano le persone con problemi di fiducia?

La pantanofobia è la paura di fidarsi delle persone. It’s actually an anxiety disorder that makes you think that people close to you will hurt, abuse, or disappoint you in any way.

Per l'esattezza, la pistanthrophobia è per lo più legata alle relazioni sentimentali e alla ansia da relazione. In poche parole, le persone che ne soffrono vivono nel costante timore che il partner possa spezzare loro il cuore in un modo o nell'altro.

Citazioni sui problemi di fiducia

1. “Instead of saying, “I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues,” say “I’m healing, I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.” – Horacio Jones

2. “Breaking someone’s trust is like crumpling up a perfect piece of paper. You can smooth it over, but it’s never going to be the same again.” – Unknown

3. “Without trust, there can be no genuine peace. Neither in politics nor the quiet individuality of the heart and spirit.” – Timothy Zahn

4. “Trust is the easiest thing in the world to lose, and the hardest thing in the world to get back.” – R. M. Williams

5. “Trust is like a mirror… you can fix it if it’s broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother fucker’s reflection.” – Lady Gaga

6. “I got trust issues because people got lying issues.” – Unknown

7. “If we do not trust one another, we are already defeated.” – Alison Croggon

8. “No marriage can survive for long without trust.” – Anton Robbins

9. “Trust cannot be broken; only taken back from people not worthy of it.” – Jackie Viramontez

10. “The trust of the innocent is the liar’s most useful tool.” – Stephen King

11. “You may be deceived if you trust too much, but you will live in torment unless you trust enough.” – Frank Crane

12. “Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.” – Stephen R. Covey

13. “Trust is like a piece of paper… once it’s crumpled it can’t be perfect again.” – Miranda Lee

14. “Three things you should never break: promises, trust, and someone’s heart.” – Unknown

15. “I wanted to explain that trusting is harder than being trusted.” – Simon Van Booy

16. “Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.” – Unknown

17. “It takes a lot of truth to gain trust, but just one lie to lose it all.” – Unknown

18. “To trust people is a luxury in which only the wealthy can indulge; the poor cannot afford it.” – E.M. Forster

19. “Trust and faith bring joy to life and help relationships grow to their maximum potential.” – Joyce Meyer

20. “Sometimes you don’t know who you can and cannot trust. I still learn that over and over again.” – Demi Lovato

Questo elenco di potenti citazioni sui problemi di fiducia dimostra che la fiducia è TUTTO quando si tratta di mantenere una relazione sana e che, senza di essa, nessuna relazione potrà mai prosperare.

Per concludere:

La cattiva notizia: superare i problemi di fiducia è un lavoro impegnativo. Una buona notizia: si può fare.

So cosa state pensando: non è possibile che funzioni. Ma, ehi, siete voi o i vostri problemi di fiducia a parlare?

I guarantee you it’s the latter.

Quindi, prima di tutto, abbiate fiducia in voi stessi, che potete farcela. In secondo luogo, abbiate fiducia nel processo. Infine, Fidatevi di me quando vi dico che tutto andrà per il meglio.