While there are women who would completely discard the idea of dating a shy guy, there are those who see something unique in their silence. Shy guys have that sense of mystery that makes women fall for them. The only trouble is:
How to tell if a shy guy likes you?
It won’t be easy because as much as you like a mystery, you would prefer to know where you stand with him at some point. He will be sending you mixed signals that will involve you in this guessing game that’s symbolically called ‘He likes me—he likes me not’.
That is bound to happen because he has put you on a pedestal. For him, you are the most beautiful, most intelligent and most amazing creature that has ever walked this earth. A goddess among people.
So don’t blame him for lacking the confidence to approach you and ask you out. He will get there, he just needs more time.
That’s one of the major reasons why shy guys get overlooked. Women always go for the loudest person in the room and that’s a huge mistake. Not that anything is wrong with loud guys, it’s about the background of it. They will assume you have to impress them and not the other way around.
A shy guy will never assume that. He will do his best to sweep you off your feet. He just might have a different approach and it might take him a bit longer to build up enough confidence to ask you out.
Another refreshing thing about shy guys is that they will never go from one woman to another displaying their affection. They will pick their person, a potential soulmate. That’s why they won’t run away from commitment, they will welcome it. The woman they choose to enter a relationship with will be the most special person for them and they will treat her as such.
Now that you have some quick insight into what being with a shy guy is really about, it’s time to answer the question we started with. How to tell if a shy guy likes you?
The easiest way to get the answer is to go through all the signs that a shy guy likes you.
After all the signs, you will probably want to know what to do about it and how to act, so just keep reading as all those answers are here too.
1. You can feel his eyes on you when you are not looking.
He doesn’t want to be caught admiring your presence or checking you out, so every time you look at him, he looks away. He knows his look would give him away and he is not quite ready for you to know that. Even though you are already into him, but he doesn’t know that yet.
2. His face lights up every time you enter the room.
He can’t help but smile every time he sees you. It might be a shy smile but it’s definitely a telltale sign that he likes you. He will also start acting differently when he sees you. He won’t know who he is or where he is headed but his smile will radiate all the happiness he feels from within because he is so overwhelmed with happiness by simply seeing you.
3. He opens his mouth to talk to you but the words are unable to come out.
This is the most flattering sign of all. You basically leave him speechless. He gets so intimidated by your presence, even though deep down he knows he shouldn’t be, that he is just unable to produce a meaningful word. He mostly leaves everything on, “Hi,” accompanied with that priceless smile of his or he goes totally mute. Either way, don’t laugh at him for doing that as he is probably just very, very nervous around you because he likes you that much.
4. When he finally speaks, his sentences might not make much sense.
He gets very self-conscious around you, which is no surprise because he sees a goddess in you and who wouldn’t be intimidated by that? He might stutter. He might produce inarticulate sentences that will sound like plain mumbling. He might even be tongue-twisted. Go easy on him. It will get better when he gets to know you better and starts feeling more relaxed around you.
5. He is clumsy.
His mind goes completely blank when he sees you. He is just unable to act like his true self when you are in mere proximity. So he trips and he falls. He spills coffee, juice, water and basically anything else that can be spilled. He hurts himself bumping into things that are on his way. He is so clumsy that it makes him so so damn cute. I bet he is even cuter now that you know that you are the main cause of his clumsiness.
6. He is there to be at your service.
It’s not that you want him to be or that you ever asked him for anything but he goes out of his way to please you. He always singles you out from the rest. He never goes above and beyond for anybody else but you. He brings you coffee. He remembers your favorite cupcakes so he secretly leaves them at your work desk or in front of your front door. If you say you need help with something he is already on it.
His imagination runs wild so he does all kinds of small things to display his affection. He would rather show it than tell it. It comes easier to him and there’s a certain amount of charm in that. And remember, actions speak louder than words ever will.
7. He listens to you even when nobody else does.
Sometimes in larger groups, not everyone’s voice is heard but he will never leave you talking to the wall. He will silence all the other voices in the room and he will listen to yours, though he might not even be facing you or he might pretend like his mind is elsewhere. He also might respond instantly so you know he is paying attention. He will never ignore you under any circumstances. Your thoughts are relevant and he wants to get to know you better.
8. Your friends will become his friends.
He finds it much easier to talk to people who are important to you than actually talk to you, so he will probably want to befriend your friends. He will get close to them mainly to be close to you but also because he likes them. He doesn’t like being around people who give him a bad vibe. He won’t even do it for you. He has a hard enough time dealing with his shy nature to be around people who make it worse.
Being friends with your friends is a great way to spend time with you without having to actually ask you out on a proper date. He also wants them to like him because they might put in a good word. He knows that they are close to your heart and that their opinions matter.
9. Once he is comfortable around you, he will start confiding in you.
Being open isn’t one of his strong suits. Opening up and trusting you with his secrets really scares him. If he managed to get to this point, make sure he knows you value that. It’s not easy to be vulnerable, to anybody really. It’s his way of showing he cares by letting you into his world.
10. He gets jealous of other men engaging in conversation with you.
He would really prefer if you wouldn’t talk about any other man, let alone give them your attention. It isn’t that dangerous kind of jealousy that makes him want to trap you in a dungeon; this type of jealousy is more related to his lack of confidence. So he gets jealous of another man who is bursting with confidence and has no problems talking to you or asking you out.
He keeps these thoughts and feelings inside but you will notice how his behavior changes when you mention another man or if they are around, or how he avoids or tries to change the topic. He is aware of his poor communication skills, but it’s not something that is easy to change. Don’t make him jealous on purpose as it will make things worse. If things just happen then that’s OK but, if he sees you are purposely provoking his jealousy, his attitude and his overall picture of you will change.
11. He is interested in your mind.
The way you think impresses him. He keeps asking you questions about this and that. Your conversations go from simple chatting to brain-picking topics in a matter of moments. He is interested to hear your opinion about things relevant to his life and your opinion means the world to him. He wants to grow and expand his horizons with you.
He is in constant search of improvement even though he never makes it obvious. He also wants to know where you stand on certain topics, like if you share similar core values and interests. Asking questions is his way of making sure that you are compatible.
12. He wants to be familiar with your likes and dislikes.
He wants to know if you have some shared interests so you could bond more easily, so he will probably ask you out of the blue what you think about some movie he just saw, what kind of movies you like generally, your preferences of music, sport, and nature, your hobbies and anything he likes and thinks you too would like too from that list. If you share most of the things on the list, he will be happy because to him that means that you can have a great time together. It wouldn’t be a bad thing if you casually asked him to see a movie or do some other activity you both like.
13. He will make an effort to do social things.
Socializing isn’t really his thing but if it means seeing you, he will do it anyways. He has a tight circle of close friends and he is making an effort to spread that circle because of you. Spending time with you even if you don’t speak a lot means more to him than his insecurities. Better said, he is fighting his insecurities to spend some time being close to you.
14. The Internet is his communication safe zone.
Being behind a screen gives him more confidence so he doesn’t hesitate to reach you from there. The Internet provides him with a sense of safety he requires to be more comfortable. He will have an easier time chatting with you online than in person. You might even predict this will happen because it’s totally in his character. He won’t write 24/7 because he doesn’t want to come off as boring, he wants to communicate, not suffocate you.
15. He will shower you with likes.
He probably combed your social accounts from beginning to end. So he will probably accidentally or purposely like some photo you posted three years ago or something even older. He investigates things about you.
He will also like anything you post on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or any other social network because he just likes everything about you and he is showing support by liking posts that could even be solely female-oriented. It can be a bit weird or even a bit over the top but pressing a like button is all he can do to show you his intentions, at least for now.
16. His friends openly tease him about crushing on you.
They will purposely do it so you can hear them. They know he doesn’t have the nerve to do it himself so they consider it like giving him a little push in the right direction. Even though it might make you both uncomfortable, you will realize that there is a lot of truth in those harmless words. They mean well, even though that makes him go even more silent or say something silly in order to defend himself. He will be blushing like a cute little boy.
17. He will try way too hard to impress you.
He will do it even if it means that he will probably look dumb while doing so. He figures that any sort of communication is better than none. His monologues will sound rehearsed, and that’s because they probably are but who can blame him for that. The poor guy is trying and doing his best to get it out his own way.
He will use corny jokes, exaggerate while retelling a story or something similar just to catch and keep your interest. You can see exactly what he is doing; he is doing everything he can to impress you.
18. He might even change his appearance.
He would do anything to make you notice him so he might start dressing differently or change his hairstyle. He listens closely when you speak, even with your female friends, so you might have mentioned that something looks good, or he noticed your likes on social media. Whatever it is, make sure to pay him a compliment, as it will boost his self-esteem. You have to appreciate his efforts to look his best. After all, it’s for your eyes only.
19. He is highly protective of you.
He would go out of his way to protect you. He would guard you and watch your back even if it meant exiting his comfort zone. He won’t allow anybody to pick on you and he is more tolerant of things people do to him than he is about things they do to you. Just because he is quiet and keeps his thoughts to himself, that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t know how to speak up when he has to. He does this unconsciously but it shows how much he cares and that he will be there for you no matter what.
20. Your word is sacred.
He basically agrees with everything you have to say. He wants to show you that he is on the same page as you are, so he goes a bit overboard in doing so. For example, if you say you like Grey’s Anatomy, he will say he likes it too and if you say you like Ed Sheeran, he will say he has his songs on repeat. If you say you like traveling, he will count the places he has visited and then tell you those he still hopes to see. You get the gist; everything you like, he likes.
21. He has a hard time locking eyes with you.
He is just too shy to look you straight in the eyes, so his gaze always goes down. It almost makes him seem untrustworthy but it’s all because he is self-conscious around you. His body language will give him away. He won’t be able to stand still, and he will constantly move his feet or fidget his fingers, and he will lean toward you and then pull back again.
He will try to calm himself but he probably won’t succeed. It’s normal that he is this nervous. For starters, it’s in his nature. And the other thing is he is feeling discomfort because he put you on a pedestal and he is unsure of himself. He might even feel unworthy of you.
22. He remembers every single thing you ever said or did.
His infatuation with you can make him look like he is obsessing over you just a little bit but he is just paying close attention because he likes you more than words can say. It would probably surprise you to know that he knows something you said a long time ago even though you yourself don’t remember saying it.
He will remember your favorite book or your favorite kind of chocolate even if you don’t recall ever telling him. He is interested in you and he has an eye for details. This is also one of the most obvious signs that a shy guy likes you.
23. Despite all the affection, he is reluctant to make a move.
This is the most frustrating of all the signs. Wouldn’t it be easier if he just got up the courage to ask you out? It would for a regular, everyday guy but for him, it’s an issue, so bear with him. Have patience because he doesn’t just look mysterious, he is indeed mysterious and full of surprises and he will sweep you off your feet if he is given a chance.
His behavior also leaves you reluctant because you don’t know if you are misreading the signs. Does he really like you or not? It’s really getting on your nerves but at the same time at least you are sure you like him. You see in him something nobody else does, something that he doesn’t even see himself. Maybe the best approach here would be for you to ask him out anyway, so at least you would know where you stood. It doesn’t have to be anything major, it could just be a casual coffee for starters. The other thing to do is arm yourself with patience and see if he gathers the courage instead.
What to do when you are falling for a shy guy?
We have already been through all the signs, and we gave you some advice along with them. But because it’s really difficult to read the signs and all the mixed signals he is sending, it’s even more difficult to be patient and know the ways of how to deal with him. That’s why there are some more tricks you can use to make him open up faster.
1. Arm yourself with patience.
I already said it but I can’t stress it enough. It’s not about who gets the girl first, it’s about who treats a woman right. A shy guy has more potential to be a better boyfriend, is more attentive, and the one who will invest in you. The loudest guy in the room will get your attention more easily but it’s a risky business giving him your heart. As I said at the beginning, he is more concerned with what you can do for him than equality and mutual efforts put into the relationship. To make the waiting process easier on you, keep your eyes on the prize because you are aware of how precious your shy guy is. He will be worth the wait.
2. Pay attention to the signs.
You carefully studied all the signs that a shy guy likes you in this text and if you are able to find your situation in them then you are probably on the right track and those mixed signals have started to make a lot more sense. Maybe you discovered some more signs that are not mentioned here. All in all, you at least know where you stand now, which makes it a lot easier to breathe.
3. A smile will mean a lot.
Gift him with a smile from time to time. It won’t take much from you but it will mean everything to him. He might also be looking for signs from you and a smile is sure to boost his self-esteem. Be grateful because you have someone whose day you can make better with just a simple smile.
4. Let him know you are listening.
Pay attention when he speaks. He might not say a lot but if he has your full attention he might be encouraged to talk more. He doesn’t want to come off as annoying or someone you don’t like talking to, which is why he thinks about every single word before he says it aloud. Unfortunately, his nerves make even those words come out wrong. Give him the time and space to talk to you and the real conversation will come naturally.
5. Avoid coming off as unapproachable.
Don’t ignore him, it will make him pull even further away. Remember, he is not a player. Ignoring him won’t make him chase you, it will do the opposite. He is completely different from anybody you have ever met. Go easy on him and don’t be scared to show subtle signs that you are into him. It will make him move quicker.
6. Form a friendship.
Ask his opinion about this and that or ask him to hang out casually with friends. You can bring somebody along, your friend or a mutual friend, the first few times, to make things a little less tense or uncomfortable. Create some safe environment where he feels at home, as it will make him feel more relaxed and you will be able to catch glimpses of the man he truly is underneath all the shyness.
7. If you are able to form a friendship and you see that it is progressing, ask him out yourself.
You have nothing to lose. The worst case scenario is he will tell you, “No.” He will make up some excuse and then you will both go on with your lives. But you will sleep better knowing that you tried and that his shyness got the better of him. The best case scenario is that you will fall into the romance of your life and that’s definitely worth the risk.
8. Don’t try to change him.
He is perfect the way he is. Your mission is not to fix him, he just needs a bit of support and some encouragement from your side to make a move (if you don’t do it for him). He is aware that him being so self-conscious and not the best communicator are his greatest flaws. He has to work on them himself. He has the potential of reaching the goal of being more confident and getting the girl he likes, if he already started giving you any of the aforementioned signs.
9. Show affection.
Showing affection and demonstrating that you like him in a subtle way, can be a way of creating the wind underneath his wings that will make him fly into your arms. Of course, as we already know, force is not the right way to deal with things but nobody ever got anything wrong from small displays of affection.
10. Keep his trust.
He values honesty over everything and he will be glad to know that his secrets are safe with you. So if he has told you something in confidence, don’t spread it around and avoid mentioning it to anybody. He needs to know that he can rely on you. If you betray his trust he never will.
I hope you got your answer on ‘How to tell if a shy guy likes you?’. If you read it carefully, you must’ve caught up with the fact that he has more good things to bring to the table. His flaws don’t define him. He is aware of them and doing his best to grow and be more than his shyness.
Maybe there is a reason for his shyness, maybe life has treated him unfairly. Maybe he opened up and trusted people one too many times. He was probably a bit shy even to begin with but if his trust or his heart was broken before, it made it even harder for him to get close to somebody or to allow himself to feel something for somebody.
There are a lot of maybes and what-ifs when it comes to him. He is a real jigsaw puzzle. But when he finally sees that he can trust you, that puzzle will gradually start solving itself on its own. And you will probably like him even more.
He is a man of potential. He is the kind of man you want a relationship with. Someone who will care for you. Someone who pays attention. Someone kind and caring. Someone who will give you his time without you having to ask for or beg for it. Someone who knows how to value a woman. Someone more than ready to invest in a relationship. Someone who will give more than he takes. Someone who will like taking care of you even if he knows you are more than capable of taking care of yourself.
He is the kind of man who will like you for you. All of this delaying and waiting to make a move gave him a chance to get to know you for who you really are. It made him look beyond your looks and aim straight for your soul. That’s priceless.
Leah Lee – Writer. Dreamer. Adventurer. Eternal Optimist.
I am an English language and literature professor and writing came naturally alongside that. It was something I did for me until I decided to share it with the rest of the world.
I write about love, emotions, relationship issues and ways to solve them and most importantly about empowering women to become the best versions of themselves.
My inspiration comes from all that I’ve been through in life, and it was a bumpy road but full of valuable lessons. I hope that my experience will do some good to all of those who like to read my work.