Como parar de pensar demais num relacionamento (9 passos para fazer)

Dizem que não há nada neste mundo que nos possa perturbar tanto como os nossos próprios pensamentos. Well, that’s true just like it’s true that there is nothing that can harm the bond between two partners than the ugly hábito de pensar demasiado numa relação.

E, a verdadeira confusão é criada quando as suas inseguranças começam a vir à superfície sem a sua própria vontade.

Although it’s your life we’re talking about, sometimes it feels to you like you don’t have control over your thoughts, does it?

Nobody is going to ask you why you do it… It’s not like you want to overanalyze everything, it’s just the way you are.

Não pára de pensar e obcecado sobre esta única coisa, vezes sem conta.

And, your thoughts get deeper and deeper until you’ve taken into consideration all the circumstances, events, and possibilities that could occur.

In the end, there are so many different case scenarios racing in your head, and you start being afraid of something that didn’t even happen, but you’ve predicted it might happen.

O que é uma pessoa que pensa demais numa relação?

Let’s just consider overthinking as a saúde mental condição. Depois, uma pessoa que pensa demais é uma pessoa que sofre dessa doença.

This is a person who can’t stop obcecado e sobre-análise even some pretty clear and simple things or the things they absolutely can’t control.

It’s like they constantly have that fear of being hurt, and it makes them rethink every single decision they make or step they take.

It’s the person that simply doesn’t want to pegar em coisas pelo seu valor nominal. Their mind is filled with constant ‘what ifs’ and they’re always looking for some answers.

That’s a person whose linguagem corporal mostra quão baixo é, de facto, o seu autoestima is. They go from relationship to relationship, and can’t easily settle anywhere because of their own insecurities.

O pensamento demasiado analítico padrão é uma caraterística da vinculação ansiosa estilo. Isso deve-se normalmente a fardos de relações passadas que um parceiro traz consigo para a relação atual.

Pensar demais é normal numa relação?

Well, I would say that it’s actually a very common part of relações românticas. No entanto, sobre-análise não é e nunca poderá ser um qualidade de um relação saudável.

If you know you’re prone to overthinking and don’t even try to control it, it’ll be like you’re consciously trying to sabotar a sua própria relação.

It’s also a sinal de que tem problemas de confiança, meaning you don’t completely trust your romantic partner. Just try to think how your partner feels when they know you’re overanalyzing every single thing and decision in your relationship.

It surely makes them feel awful. It surely arouses many doubts about your relationship with them. And, it’ll sooner or later make them think that you don’t love them as much as they love you.

Repensar e pensar demais numa relação é certamente uma forma muito óbvia de bandeira vermelha que algo está errado.

Whether it is a lack of trust, love, or respect is irrelevant. The important thing is that it’s obvious that your relationship is definitely lacking something.

Truth be told, the hidden meaning behind overthinking is ‘I’m doubting our love and I don’t know if I can trust you completely’. Don’t be surprised if this starts to bother your partner.

Assim, para evitar que o excesso de análise afecte a sua relação, existem alguns fronteiras que devem ser nomeadas o mais rapidamente possível.

É preciso encontrar uma forma de pôr cobro a essas práticas tóxicas e irracionais padrões de pensamento e esforçar-se por estabelecer uma comunicação saudável com os seus outra pessoa significativa.

Turn to a relationship expert and try to get that outside perspective. Talk it out with your partner instead of obsessing about things you can’t control by yourself.

Como parar de pensar demais numa relação

The truth is, we can’t stop being overthinkers. We hate it, and we’re aware of all the negative consequences it has on our social and vida amorosa, but we still can’t take an eraser and remove that trait from our personality.

However, we definitely can control that bad habit of overthinking and stop it from ruining the relationships we have with other people. And, that’s exactly what I’ll teach you below.

Take a deep breath and let’s start with the mission of como consertar e salvar a sua relação romântica de analisar demasiado as coisas.

1. Primeiro, acalme a sua mente

You don’t let yourself enjoy anything that happens in your life. There is this shadow growing slowly and it’s leaning over everything.

Pode parecer feliz à primeira vista, mas os seus pensamentos excessivos estão demasiado presentes.

It creates this fear that all at once, everything you have or everything you’re living and enjoying might disappear or might even be a lie.

It’s a normal thing that you’re panicking because you sentir que o mundo inteiro está a desmoronar-se debaixo dos vossos pés.

You can’t stop thinking about the future of your relationship and whether your loved one will be by your side forever or if they’ll leave you sooner or later. The truth is, we all have that same fear of the unknown, and we all catch ourselves thinking about it sometimes.

No entanto, o facto inegável é que nada é constante na vida. Há coisas que estão simplesmente fora do nosso controlo e a única coisa que podemos fazer é aceitá-las e aceitar a sua existência.

Deixar de pensar demasiado because that surely won’t help – pode apenas levantar algumas questões mais profundas. É necessário recuperar o controlo sobre a sua mente. Identificar e vencer os pensamentos indesejados.

2. Confiar em si próprio

Pensar demais pode não só causar problemas no seu vida amorosamas também pode ter um impacto negativo em todos os áreas da sua vida. E sabes qual é a principal razão para esse teu mau hábito?

You don’t trust yourself. You don’t believe in yourself. You aren’t aware nor do you believe in your own capabilities.

You can’t stop overthinking every little thing in your relationship and in your life in general simply because you constantly feel like you’re doing something wrong.

You feel like you’re making mistakes all the time.

And, sometimes you even think that you’re a mistake.

You feel like you don’t deserve to be loved, and somehow, you manage to convince yourself that you’re not indeed despite all the efforts your partner makes to convince you of the opposite.

Se cometeu erros na sua relação passada, you can’t allow them to sabotage your new happiness. Todos nós cometemos erros e, por vezes, magoamos os nossos entes queridos unintentionally, but that doesn’t make us indigno de amor.

Seja gentil consigo mesmo. Don’t judge your wrong decisions and moves. Don’t punish yourself for having weaknesses.

É necessário construir um relação saudável consigo próprio para o fazer com outro ser humano. Start by learning to trust yourself and then you’ll learn how to trust others, too.

3. E, mais importante ainda, confie no seu parceiro

For some reason, you’ve stopped believing that people are capable of doing good without hidden motives. You just keep waiting to see what’s really hiding behind their deeds, and what kind of intentions they really have.

As far as your relationship is concerned, you love. You really do. But, you always question if you’re really loved.

If there was an amazing week that helped you feel like the most loved person, you’re just waiting for a crash to happen in the next few days. Even if your significant other has never given you a reason to doubt them and their intentions, you simply can’t relax 100%.

You probably still snoop through their text messages, even after you’ve been together for so long. Am I right? Well, it’s obvious you’re struggling with profundo questões de confiança que o estão a tornar propenso a analisar demasiado, que está a arruinar lentamente a vossa relação.

After all, you can’t call it a healthy relação if you don’t trust each other completely. Onde não há confiança, também não há amor.

A sua desconfiança faz com que a sua sensação de parceiro não respeitado e provavelmente até não amado. If you don’t give them the chance to prove you’re trustworthy, it’s just a matter of time when they’ll break up with you.

4. Permitir-se ser vulnerável

You’re just a human being, and vulnerabilidade emocional faz parte da vossa natureza. Pára de a esconder.

Precisa de se despir emocionalmente em frente do seu parceiro. Right now, you might be afraid that they’ll use it at some point to hurt you.

But, what if they don’t? What if they start to cherish and appreciate you even more because of it? What if it connects you in a way you never thought was possible before?

You see, these are the ‘what ifs’ you need to focus on.

You can’t pretend you’re somebody else forever. Sooner or later, your mask will come off and it’ll leave your partner too confused.

5. Dizer em voz alta o que sente

Don’t be afraid to pour your fears out in the open. Don’t go through it alone.

Even if it’s just in your head, he (or she) can reassure you in a minute and make your fears go away.

Pode facilmente convencer-se de que é realmente amado, de que há alguém que planeia o seu futuro consigo e de que não há como desistir.

There is no other person that means so much to them, and there is nobody they want more in life. That’s how you should direct your pensamentos próprios.

Poor communication harms a relationship more than anything else. It’s also one of the leading causes of most breakups.

If you can’t stop obsessing about something regarding your current relationship, talk with your partner about it. Let them explain it to you or let them help you find a way to fix it.

Suprimir esses sentimentos é a pior coisa que se pode fazer. You may think that will make them go away, but the truth is it’ll only make them stuck in your mind.

They are going to be stuck in your mind and they will shut you down emotionally. You’ll become emocionalmente entorpecidoNessa altura, a vossa relação já não terá salvação.

6. Trabalhar para aumentar a sua autoestima

Perguntamos sempre se merecemos toda essa felicidade e do que temos de abdicar para equilibrar a felicidade e a miséria que os humanos têm na vida.

Sente que o seu parceiro namora consigo por pena. You think they feel sorry for you, and that it’s the thing that keeps them in your life.

You idealize your partner and, in your eyes, they’re the most perfect person on this planet.

However, that also makes you overanalyze every step they make because you simply can’t accept the fact that someone as perfect as them chooses to love someone so ‘flawless’ as you.

You have such a bad self-image, and it’s high time to paint a whole new one. É necessário colocar o autocuidado em primeiro lugar na sua lista de prioridades e concentre-se em melhorar a sua autoestima e confiança.

Honestamente, o melhor conselho que posso dar sobre relações quando se trata de como parar pensar demais numa relação é que precisa de work on yourself; not your relationship. It’s obvious that the real problem is in you and your bad hábito de pensar demasiado.

7. Concentrar-se no momento presente

Leave what could or what will happen aside. You don’t and shouldn’t live for the future.

No one can promise you that you’ll stay together forever. No entanto, neste momento, tens alguém que te aceita e te ama apesar de todos os teus defeitos.

You can’t undo things you’ve done in the past, nor can you control or stop some things from happening in the future. You only have power over your present.

Quando se abraça a vida no momento atual, you won’t have time for overthinking. You’ll be focused only on things that can make your relationship prosper in every possible way.

Viver o agora. Desfrute da sua felicidade atual. Abrace a incerteza da vida. Deixar de pensar demasiado e empurrar o teu parceiro para longe.

Build a bridge of understanding and acceptance… a bridge that will connect you forever and that will leave no space for re-questioning yourself and your relationship.

8. Bloquear os pensamentos negativos

O que se passa é que o excesso de pensamento responde frequentemente aos seus medos e à sua ansiedade. Os pensamentos e as emoções negativas dominam-no.

It’s just contagious. It starts from this little tiny thing and it ends up with you questioning your life. It’s often deeply connected to pessimism.

De alguma forma, não se consegue ver o lado positivo do futuro quando se analisa demasiado as coisas.

So, you see the end of your relationship and that’s what you’re preparing yourself for, even though the other side doesn’t really see things the way you do.

To him (or her), it might appear that everything is OK because you do not communicate your thoughts. You don’t even know what the final conclusion is because you just get tired eventually and you stop thinking totally.

Continua em silêncio e o facto de pensar demasiado em silêncio está a matá-lo e a matar a sua relação.

Precisas de sair da tua própria mente. Tens de deixar de ser prisioneiro dela.

Those unwanted thoughts need to be blocked. Stop thinking about those ‘what ifs’ and start enjoying the things you have right now.

9. Deixar para trás as feridas do passado

You’ve been slapped by life one too many times, and God knows how many times your expectations were not met.

That’s why you have trouble picturing a happy ending. This is why it’s more logical for you to picture a miserable ending. But, it doesn’t have to be like this.

Há uma maneira de mudarem as coisas e deixarem de sufocar a vossa relação com demasiados pensamentos. Há uma forma de evitar um final desagradável, sabe?

And, the only way you’ll do it is by libertar-se do seu passado doloroso. O seu passado A relação com o seu ex-companheiro deixou-lhe provavelmente muitas cicatrizes.

It’s actually normal that you want to protect yourself from being hurt again. Agora, o seu mecanismo de lidar com essas cicatrizes e o medo de ser magoado novamente é sobre-análise todos os pormenores da sua relação atual.

However, you can’t use it forever. You can’t continue to stop your partner from getting near to you. The more you obsess and overthink things, the more you’ll be pushing them away.

See, you have somebody who’s holding your hand no matter o quanto estás desarrumado. Tem alguém que se esforça por ganhar a sua confiança.

Don’t allow your past to ruin your present or, even worse, your future. Livrar-se dos seus bagagem emocional. You got a new chance to find love – to be sincerely loved. If you don’t embrace it, if you gamble it, you might end up regretting it for the rest of your life.

Para concluir

Worrying won’t stop bad things from happening… it only stops you from enjoying the good.

Portanto, pára com isso. You can’t parar de pensar demais – Toda a gente já sabe isso. Não existe uma cura mágica nem se pode estalar os dedos e fazer com que desapareça.

What you can do is stop going through all of it alone. You can stop ruining your relationship by telling him what’s bugging you. You can be each other’s rock, and that’ll do.

Tóxico e pensamentos ansiosos provoked by overthinking in a relationship can really damage the bond between two partners to the point where it won’t be fixable any longer.

Don’t ever allow the awful hábito de pensar demasiado para ficar entre si e o seu parceiro.

Stop overthinking and save your relationship before it’s too late. Let things flow in their natural way, and just keep on hoping for the best.

Meta: Quais são os efeitos de pensar demais numa relação? Descubra como é que isso prejudica a vossa ligação e algumas formas eficazes de lidar com isso corretamente.