So you meet a guy, you like him, he likes you, you start talking, or you hook up. You’re sure he’s interested when all of a sudden, radio silence.
He’s distant and pulling away, so you can’t help but start questioning yourself and your actions. When a guy ignores you but likes you, you wonder if it was something you did that pushed him away.
In a situation like this, not knowing what’s going on makes it easy enough to start obsessing. It can really shake a person’s self-esteem.
There are lots of reasons he might be ignoring you, but let’s get one thing out of the way first.
The Best Thing To Do When A Guy Ignores You But Likes You……is nothing.
Yes, really, it’s best if you simply don’t do anything. Give him time and space, and give yourself a break from worrying.
The kind of guy who really likes you will come around after whatever is holding him back is over. If he’s ignoring you out of selfish reasons, he won’t admit it if you ask anyway.
If you do make the first move, start by waiting longer than you think you should. Send a casual text and forget about it.
Don’t blow up his phone. You took the first step; now it’s up to him.
Rather than wondering about him, spend some time focusing on yourself. You might realize you don’t even care about him by the time he hits you up.
Can A Man Like You And Ignore You?
You bet he can.
The saying goes something like, if someone likes you, they’ll let you know for sure, but that’s not always so.
Think of it this way, have you ever liked someone and not let them know? There are plenty of reasons for keeping your distance.
When a guy avoids you but likes you, some of these questions can help you reach some conclusions about what may be the reason:
• What makes you think he’s ignoring you?
• When did it start? Did something specific happen?
• How important is it to know for sure? Are you invested in the relationship?
• What does your intuition tell you?
The answers to these questions and the following section might help you pinpoint what exactly is going on.
Why Does A Guy Ignore A Girl He Likes?
It’s always about him. Don’t try to guess what’s happening.
Make sure not to overreact and create drama where there might be none. Spare yourself the anxiety.
When you find out the real reason why he’s ignoring you, talking to him about your feelings is sometimes the best course of action. But usually, you should ignore him right back.
When should you talk to him? When you know he’s ignoring you because he thinks you don’t like him back.
When should you be patient? In all other cases.
1. He’s not actually ignoring you
• You only think he’s ignoring you
It can be hard to shift perspective and look at life from someone else’s point of view. A lot of the time, what may seem catastrophic to you might not even register with someone else.
In other words, you might be panicking, while ignoring you is the last thing on his mind.
Make sure that something is actually going on before you worry.
Do you think you might be overreacting or paranoid? Perhaps try examining why that is so. It’s important to find balance and not rely too much on external validation.
• Other things need his attention
It’s entirely possible that it has nothing to do with you.
Maybe he’s in the middle of something, or something is going on in his life that is taking up his time and attention.
He might be busy or stressed, have an emergency at work or with his family, or simply have different priorities. If you don’t know his circumstances, it’s too soon to worry.
A guy who likes you but also likes the rest of his life is a good thing.
• He functions in a different way
How much time has it really been? What made you believe he’s ignoring you?
If he’s not texting you every day, or if he doesn’t devote his entire attention to you every time you see him, he might just work that way.
People have different needs and habits. His communication style might be different from yours, and one text message a week is frequent for him.
It might be possible that what you think is a clear sign of him ignoring you is only a case of different expectations.
The way to know is to think about if his behavior is typical for him or out of the ordinary. For example, if he always texts rarely, is the frequency the same? If yes, then you have nothing to worry about.
2. He’s feeling vulnerable
• He’s not sure you like him
No one is free from insecurities. Everyone has something that makes them feel fragile, and it influences how they behave.
If he likes you and yet avoids you, he might be protecting himself. Putting yourself out there and showing your feelings for someone who might not love you back leaves you vulnerable.
He might be waiting to make sure that you like him too.
• He thinks you don’t like him
If you’ve hinted you dislike him even jokingly, or he simply never got the indication that you like him that he needed, he might think that you’re not interested.
You might think that your feelings were plain to see, but if this guy feels that you don’t like him, he could be ignoring you out of self-preservation.
If he thinks that he has no chance with you, it’s easier not to deal with his feelings than to be rejected.
Give him confidence by letting him know you’re interested.
• He lacks courage
There are a lot of guys who never make a move to avoid potential pain, be it rejection or potential future relationship problems.
He might be crushing, but he won’t do anything about it.
Whether he believes you don’t like him or knows that you do, he might be too intimidated to do anything.
It’s up to you to decide whether you can deal with this level of anxiety and make a move yourself.
• He’s shy
Shy guys can be really cute, especially the anticipation of what he’ll be like when he comes out of his shell.
If he’s chronically shy, he might just not know what to do. Particularly if he’s an introvert, he can get lost in his head a lot of the time.
He could be feeling socially awkward and like he has no clue how to flirt to get your attention.
Try putting him at ease by making it clear that you’re into him.
• He thinks he’s too obvious
This guy might think he’s being super obvious about his feelings, so he’s trying not to be. He’s probably staring at you when you’re not looking.
By trying not to be too flirty, he’s gone to the other extreme. Instead of showering you with attention the way he wants to, he ignores you.
He thinks he’s being subtle, but he’s overdoing it.
• He’s trying to look cool
Sometimes a guy who ignores you doesn’t want to seem overly eager because he wants you to think he’s cool.
He thinks that being aloof makes him more attractive, but it could backfire, and he might lose his chance.
If you think this might be what’s going on, ask if he’s interested in dating you and watch him sputter.
• He’s doesn’t want to be pushy
When a guy feels that he maybe likes you too much, he might be pulling back to avoid coming off as clingy.
He might be afraid that you might think he’s weird or creepy if he’s too intense in expressing his feelings, particularly if it’s in the early stages of getting to know each other.
If you discover that he’s interested but doesn’t want to look desperate and scare you off, make it clear to him what level of enthusiasm you feel comfortable with.
• He’s unsure what to do
This is especially common if it’s someone you already have a relationship with – a friend, a co-worker, or an acquaintance.
When a guy ignores you but likes you, he might be scared of ruining your existing relationship.
If what’s between you is already pleasant, he might be unsure if it’s worth changing it.
Approach him if you think he likes you, and you want to pursue a relationship with him.
• He’s been hurt in the past
A guy who thought a girl liked him only to be rejected when he approached her might be extra careful with his feelings.
If he was hurt in the past and is now hesitant, you can break the ice by sharing your own vulnerability.
(Warning: If he mentions the ‘ friendzone’ in a serious way, reconsider whether you should give him a chance.
Guys who believe in that concept show kindness only if it gives them a shot at getting together with you and think that being your friend is some sort of punishment.
They might need to do a lot of work before becoming functioning adults.)
• He thinks you’re not single
He might have seen you with someone or heard something that made him think you were already in a relationship.
When a guy ignores you but likes you, he’s usually trying to protect his feelings in some way.
He might be giving you the cold shoulder because of a misunderstanding, so if you’re interested, make it clear that you’re available.
• He’s freaking out
If he feels that he likes you too much, a guy might be overwhelmed by feelings.
Any intense emotion changes the way people behave, so even if he’s usually outgoing, he could be pulling back.
It might be hard for him to express his strong feelings, so make it easier on him by being attentive and understanding. Communicate with open body language, a welcoming tone, and empathy.
3. He’s having second thoughts
• He’s confused
When a guy ignores you but likes you, it’s possible that he’s not completely sure about his feelings. He’s taking his time to think about it and figure out his next move.
Another possibility is that what he wants from a relationship has changed.
He might be used to hooking up, but now he wants something serious with you. On the other hand, it’s also possible that he’s looking for a fling, but you want a relationship.
Either way, there’s nothing you can do but wait and decide what to do when you have more information.
• He wants to slow things down
Things might be moving too fast for him. For this reason, he’s pulling back to make things move slower.
Maybe he was expecting to say hi from time to time, but you immediately started texting him when you exchanged numbers.
If you’re showing more interest than he’s ready for, he might also be afraid that you want a more serious relationship than he does.
If it’s always you who’s initiating things, stop doing it. Let him take things at his own pace if you’re interested enough, or if he’s too slow for you, keep moving.
• He’s not ready
If you’ve shown that you like him, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like you back if he’s not paying you attention. Give him space because his reluctance might be all about him.
It’s important to note that liking someone doesn’t have to mean you want to be in a relationship.
Maybe he isn’t in the right place for a relationship, or he has other priorities at the moment. He might come back when he’s ready.
• He likes you but doesn’t want a relationship
There are numerous reasons why someone would not want a relationship even when they like another person.
Personal business, such as his job requirements, can make it inconvenient. He could be moving to another city soon or have family obligations that would make a relationship a hassle.
He might also think that you’re not a good fit, depending on both of your values, circumstances, and many other reasons.
Lots of things can become obstacles even if we like someone, so he might be saving you both the potential heartbreak.
• He wants space
If he was somewhat interested but not enough to pursue a relationship, he might be pulling back because you seem to want different things.
He might feel like you’re coming on too strong, and pretty much anything would be too much for him.
Instead of letting you know he’s not interested, he’s pulling back. He might be trying to spare your feelings, but this might not be the best way to do it.
If this guy liked you enough, your attention wouldn’t bother him, so you should move on to someone who does.
• He’s losing interest
This guy may have liked you in the beginning, but after the initial spark passed, he’s lost interest. Maybe the initial excitement was very intense, so now that things have settled down, he’s not into it.
If he’s someone who dislikes confrontation, it’s easier for him to ignore you than face you and tell you that he’s no longer interested.
His lack of candor might be making things awkward and sending you mixed signals.
This is another case where you should ignore him back and look for the next chapter of your love life elsewhere.
• He was never interested
Maybe you got the impression that he was into you when you just danced together at a party, but he really just wanted to dance. The next day, you were crushing, and he went back to work.
If you misinterpreted a situation and he wasn’t interested in the first place, he isn’t ignoring you; he just went on with his life as usual.
It may be a hard pill to swallow if you’ve just been misreading the signs.
Ask yourself honestly if he has really shown interest. If you don’t have a 100% affirmative answer to this, don’t put yourself through unavoidable heartache.
• He just wants friendship
If you’ve been spending time with a guy and grown to like him, but he’s not showing any signs of romantic interest, it’s also possible that he likes you as a friend .
When a guy ignores you but likes you as a friend, he might suspect you’re into him and doesn’t want to lead you on. He’s trying to help you save face and not outright reject you.
Keep in mind no one is attractive to everyone. One guy not being interested says nothing about your attractiveness.
At the end of the day, it’s up to you to decide what to do. If you like him as a person and think you’ll be able to get over your attraction, it might be worth it to pursue a friendship.
4. He’s not a good guy
• He’s punishing you
If you did something that upset him, even if you don’t know what it was, he might be mad at you, but in an unacceptable way.
If he hits on others in front of you, ignores you but acts friendly towards others, if he’s giving you the silent treatment and being mean on purpose, drop this guy.
Such toxic behavior would be unsavory even if you did something serious, let alone if you don’t even know what’s going on.
• He’s playing games
Someone who is toying with your feelings on purpose is manipulative and immature.
If he knows you like him, but he’s playing hard to get, it means he’s trying to get the upper hand and establish an unhealthy power dynamic.
This is never a good foundation for a relationship. You don’t need dating tips for this guy – you need to be done with him as soon as you can.
• He was in it only for the chase
Some guys only enjoy yanking you around. They hit on you, seduce you, but they don’t follow through. It shows great immaturity and carelessness.
When the initial thrill has worn off, this type of guy is done. He has fun impressing you, but it’s not exciting when you like him back.
For him, the fairy tale ends when the couple gets together, and real-life afterward is boring. You can do better than that.
• He’s a player
There’s nothing wrong with keeping your options open when you’re dating casually, but if he’s playing the field, he might not be honest about his intentions.
Maybe he just pretended he cared and moved on. Maybe he was cheating with you, but now he went back to his partner.
Guys like this always think they can find someone better. No one is good enough for them.
If you’re not his first choice, you don’t need him.
So What Now?
Being ignored or ghosted can feel worse than being rejected outright because it leaves you wanting answers.
When a guy ignores you but likes you, he may have a variety of reasons.
Unless he’s obviously pining and needs you to confirm that you like him back, don’t put yourself out there and get hurt.
The best relationship advice you can ever get is to make yourself a priority. No matter how important another person is, if you put them ahead of yourself, no one is going to be happy.
Take care of yourself, and let him come when he’s ready. If he doesn’t, you still have the best person for you around: yourself.