Why am I attracted to older men? What spell do they put on me that I barely acknowledge someone my age?
If these questions bother you as much as they do me, then you’ve come to the right place.
I will tell you why you are into age gap relationships, the difference between older and younger men, and everything that influences your choice of partners.
Stay with me, and let’s explore the minds of both older men and us!
Why Am I Attracted To Older Men? 20 Reasons
If you want to know why age gap relationships sound appealing to you, take a look at the following 20 reasons:
1. They look more manly
Not that there’s anything wrong with feminine men (God forbid), but there’s just something about the manliness you can see in older men.
It isn’t about looks but rather their energy. The way they move screams confidence and experience.
These silver foxes have the ability to sweep you off your feet in a matter of seconds.
Everything that defines a real man is there: strength, decisiveness, wisdom, intelligence, fearlessness… You can sense all that without even speaking to them.
It’s really true what they say… Older men are like wine – they get better with age.
2. They are more mature
Younger partners call women out for being drama queens, but in reality, they’re no different.
They create problems where there aren’t any. They are often so possessive that they expect you to be there 24/7. Not even couples counseling could save these types of relationships…
An older man would never do anything of the sort.
He’s self-sufficient and values his time, so he understands if you need some solitude. He understands the importance of boundaries in relationships.
When there is an actual problem, he doesn’t fight or give you the silent treatment. You will never see him overreact but rather actively seek solutions to your issues.
You shouldn’t be asking yourself ”Why am I attracted to older men?” but rather ”Why wouldn’t I be?”
3. They know what they want
You’re probably attracted to older guys because they always have a clear goal in mind. There’s no room for doubts or insecurities.
Even when they are at a crossroads, they handle it like mature men. They’re not confused for long like their younger counterparts tend to be.
If they like you, they won’t sit in silence and hope for the best. They’ll reach out straight away and charm you with their decisiveness.
They won’t hide behind social media and dating sites but will prefer to talk to you in person.
Even if you’re a big challenge and give them a hard time, they won’t easily back out.
They believe in themselves too much to give up.
4. They’ve already built a life for themselves
Younger men usually don’t have anything figured out. It’s like they’re totally excluded from real life and all they do is play video games and party with their friends.
How can they be capable of being a good partner then? It’s no wonder women find older men attractive.
Most of them have a career and a home of their own. Of course, this doesn’t mean that we are materialistic. It’s not about wealth at all.
It’s just a big turn on to see a man who’s accomplished all of his goals, a man who overcame every obstacle to get what he wants.
Someone who is able and strong is bound to grab your attention!
Since you (probably) haven’t accomplished your goals due to your age, you are inspired by his abilities. You want to be a part of his life because you think he might help you find your own purpose.
Besides, someone like this is a much better choice for a serious relationship, are they not?
5. They appreciate life more
When you’re younger, your main goal is to have fun. And you think that by having fun, you appreciate life more. But that’s not exactly the case.
Older men have had their share of fun, so they know that appreciating life is about embracing its many opportunities.
They won’t hesitate to accept a job offer or form a relationship with you. This is because they aren’t looking for temporary excitement.
They’re aware that life is passing them by, and they want to be truly HAPPY. They don’t waste their time with the ‘what ifs.’
And trust me, someone who realizes the value of life will know how to love you the way you deserve.
6. They are more ready to commit
I know that men of all ages struggle with commitment issues, but let’s be honest – older men are more ready for a committed relationship.
Whatever caused issues with commitment is still fresh in the minds of younger men, so it affects them more easily.
If they were heartbroken, it takes them ages to trust someone again. And when they try, you only end up stuck with an emotionally unavailable man.
On the other hand, older men have had more time to clear their thoughts and find out who they really are.
Since they can handle themselves better, they are more prepared to be emotionally attached to you.
Even if they struggle with heartbreak (and we all do), they eventually start seeing it as a thing of the past.
This is because the years are passing by quickly, and they don’t want to die alone without a legacy. So, it’s not only that they don’t fear commitment, but they are desperate for it.
7. They are more caring
Have you ever seen a 40-year-old man who doesn’t know how to take care of a woman?
Exactly.
So, why do you still keep asking yourself ”Why am I attracted to older men?”
Not only do they spoil you, but they also always know the right words to say. They are true gentlemen who treat you with kindness and respect.
Nothing cruel or inappropriate will ever come out of their mouths.
They see you as a precious being who they need to protect, so they do their best to fulfill your wishes.
If all of this sounds like a Hollywood romance movie, that’s probably because you’ve had too many immature relationships with younger men…
8. They have more life experience
That’s the first thing you think of when you look at an older man, isn’t it? You are attracted to how much they know about life, how much they have been through.
You may be an experienced young woman yourself, but you still look at them and are tempted by all they could teach you.
If you feel lost or hopeless about life, you will probably be attracted to older men.
You want a lover, but you also want a mentor, a guide. You want someone who will save you from the misery of life you don’t yet know how to deal with.
9. They offer you a sense of security
There are many strong and smart young men nowadays, but security isn’t about that…
Don’t you always feel safer when you’re with someone who knows more than you? That’s why you’re into older men.
Since you know how experienced they are, it creates a sense of safety. You think that they have dealt with all kinds of situations and probably have a wise solution for everything.
In reality, you just want a hero. And you don’t see heroic potential in men your age.
10. Younger men keep disappointing you
When I think to myself: ”Why am I attracted to older men?” the first answer that comes to mind is:
Because younger men are too disappointing!
I mean, no offense here, but let’s be honest… They never know how to handle their problems like adults, and it only ends up ruining your relationship.
Older men would never allow that to happen. They carry their baggage, but their relationships remain intact. This is because of their higher maturity levels and emotional intelligence.
11. They are more confident
How many romances have failed because of insecure young men?
So many of them don’t have the courage to approach you, and if they do approach you, it only turns into a very complicated relationship.
Older men rarely have these problems! They’ve probably had many relationships in the past that made them confident enough to flirt like a pro.
You don’t ever have to worry that it’s not going to work. If they like you, that’s already finished business. Nothing will stop them from getting your attention.
And let’s be honest… Who doesn’t like to be chased?
12. They just look more attractive
What? This is a valid reason! Some women just like you better when you’re older. Some prefer 30-year-olds, whereas others are attracted to men twice their age!
Why wouldn’t they be? There’s nothing NOT to like. Just think about Dr. House or Aaron Hotchner from Criminal Minds. Lord knows I do every day.
We get to see scenes where they’re younger, yet I can’t help but be more attracted to them when they get older. Does that happen to you, too?
Don’t think that there’s anything wrong with you, though. You have the right to like whoever you want.
Besides, isn’t this encouraging? We often fear old age because we think our beauty will disappear, but look! There’s always someone who will find you attractive.
13. You have daddy issues
It’s always some kind of trauma, isn’t it? Well, sadly, yes. Your fascination with older men might just stem from daddy issues. What does that mean?
It means that your father didn’t offer you the love and protection that you deserved as a child.
Since you were emotionally abandoned, now you seek a father figure that will make up for what you didn’t have in childhood.
Sounds complicated, doesn’t it? But it’s valid.
You’re not unstable for having daddy issues. It’s okay to want someone to protect you, especially if nobody ever did.
So, don’t think that this is wrong. You are not weird or messed up. Don’t let anyone convince you that you are.
14. They respect women more
When you’re in a relationship with someone your age, they rarely know how to appreciate you. And since they don’t appreciate you, they have no respect for you either.
They’re just too young to understand what partnership means.
That’s what’s so appealing about older guys. They’re aware that you’re two individuals but you still function as a TEAM.
And a team values the opinion of everyone. They will always listen to your advice carefully. You don’t ever have to worry about not being taken seriously.
Older guys will never see you as ‘just a girlfriend’ but rather as a human being and a partner who’s equally as important as them.
15. They have sexual experience
Well… we are sexual beings, too, aren’t we? Having an older partner who knows what he’s doing is bound to make sex much more exciting!
After all, you’re young and (probably) don’t have much sexual experience. So, it’s not unusual that you want someone who does.
At least one of us has to know what they’re doing, right?
You want experience, and they want someone who has none.
Yes, as men age, they are more into younger women, in the age range of around 20–30, because they want to prove to themselves that they’ve still ‘got it.’
When they have sex with a 20-year-old woman, they get their validation, and you get great sex! It’s a win-win situation!
16. They know how to communicate
Do you often ask yourself: ”Why am I attracted to older men?” Yeah, me too… Or at least I did until I figured out the answer.
It’s because I never have to worry that they’ll misunderstand me!
Even when they do, we will talk about it like adults and figure out where the problem lies.
I know they will never get defensive or point fingers. They understand that you can never solve anything without communication.
Their goal is to fix the problem together, not be against each other, which is a sign of a healthy relationship.
Besides, you can’t form a deeper emotional connection if you don’t hear each other out.
17. They are financially secure
More often than not, older people have steady jobs and a secure future, so it’s understandable if you’re attracted to them.
But that doesn’t mean you want them for their money. You just want someone who’ll be able to take care of you.
This is especially understandable if your goal is to be a housewife.
And even if you’re employed, too, it’s okay if you don’t want to be the only provider. It’s okay to want a capable man who’s ready to help you out.
18. You want a sugar daddy
Yes, maybe you find the age gap attractive just because there’s something in it for you!
A sugar daddy doesn’t mind paying for whatever your heart desires, and you’re happy because you’re able to live the life of your dreams.
Being a sugar baby benefits both you and your ‘benefactor.’ That’s why you shouldn’t feel guilty for doing it. If both sides are happy, then there’s nothing wrong with that.
19. Dating them is a rebellious act
Be honest. Who would ever support your relationship with an older man? Rarely anyone would…
And that’s exactly what strengthens your desire!
It’s a turn on to look at someone nobody would approve of, especially if you’re in your early to late 20s…
Your rebellious spirit is still very much alive, and it directs your wishes. You want whatever society rejects.
The age difference means nothing to you because it means everything to them.
This isn’t wrong, but still make sure that you actually like the person, and not just what they represent!
20. They are more comfortable
Even when guys our own age manage to approach us, they’re still struggling to relax. They try to look all macho but don’t know that we have a sixth sense that tells us a different story.
Older men, on the other hand, don’t have those self-esteem issues.
They approach you with confidence and talk to you in a relaxed manner because they’re not intimidated by women.
Their beauty and intellect aren’t something to be afraid of, but something they need to conquer. And they usually do… because they believe they can.
See also: How To Make An Older Man Want You In 27 Surefire Steps
Final Thoughts
I hope that the question ”Why am I attracted to older men?” no longer keeps you up at night. See, it’s not just the influence of Lana Del Rey’s music!
Women date older men because they have more to offer.
It’s the same with younger guys. They are mostly infatuated with older women.
A lot of people want an experienced partner who will provide a sense of safety and security. A lot of people want someone who will show them how to live properly.
It’s no wonder we are attracted to people who are different from us. We want something that we don’t have because it’s new and exciting.
And don’t EVER think there’s anything wrong with that!