Why do I keep dreaming about my ex from years ago? This was the sentence I woke up thinking of a few weeks ago.
Recurring dreams about my ex haunted me a few days in a row. I couldn’t understand why in the world I would start dreaming of my ex now that I’m dating someone new.
All this motivated me to start keeping a dream journal and dive into dream analysis. Of course, I couldn’t figure it all out on my own, so I did my research.
What I learned is that dreaming of your ex can have multiple meanings from unresolved issues to feeling anxious regarding your future relationships.
If this is happening to you at the moment and you demand answers from the universe, then keep reading! I may not be the universe, but I’m sure I can help you.
Together, we’ll go through possible reasons why you dream of your ex, how you can stop dreaming about your ex, and many other questions related to this topic. So, let’s see!
Is It Normal To Dream About Your Ex?
Yes, it’s completely normal to dream about your ex-partner (especially if you broke up recently). “Dreaming about your ex is super common,” says professional dream analyst, Lauri Loewenberg.
I personally know many people who dreamt of their ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends (including myself) and every single dream was different.
Dreaming about an ex is our mind’s way of dealing with unresolved feelings, the need for closure, and even lack of self-love.
There are many reasons why one would have recurring dreams about their ex, and they can involve both positive and negative feelings that are based on your previous relationship with them.
Dreaming about an ex doesn’t even have to be connected with your ex, but about a completely different thing that your subconscious mind is reminding you of.
Why Do I Keep Dreaming About My Ex?
Unresolved feelings toward your ex
They say that we dream of things that concern us most. Do you think you have some unresolved feelings toward your ex and your previous relationship in general?
Do you find it difficult to realize why you broke up in the first place? Do you still think that things could have been better between the two of you only if this and that?
Once these feelings accumulate in your unconsciousness, they become a part of your dreams.
You’re anxious about a new relationship
Why do I keep dreaming about my ex? How many times have you repeated that one question? I bet one too many.
Well, perhaps the reason why you’re dreaming about your ex is that you’re feeling anxious about your new relationship.
I’m not a dream expert, but I know for sure that a bad breakup can make you feel anxious about your current relationship or future relationships.
For example, if you have vivid dreams about your abusive ex, this means that you have a fear of experiencing the same thing in your next relationship with someone new.
Also, if your ex was your first love, it’s normal for you to compare them with every future partner. Still, worry not. They say that when you close the crappy chapter of your story, the better one will start right away.
You’re not over your ex
Are you still checking their social media profiles in hope that you’ll learn something new about your ex? Do you still keep thinking about them when you do your chores, when you drive to work, or every time you breathe?
And, if you’re dreaming about your ex, then this could be an indicator that you’re still not over them. That’s why dreams about them are haunting your waking hours.
Still, there’s a thin line between nostalgia and being unable to get over someone.
I would say it’s either one of the following:
- They’re nothing more than a bad habit
- You’re genuinely not over them
Take some time to think about it.
An indicator of a bigger problem in your past relationship
Why do I dream about my ex? Perhaps you’re dealing with some underlying issues regarding your past relationship.
Did your ex take you for granted? Were you overly jealous and controlling in your past relationship? Why did your relationship end?
Dreaming of an ex can be an indicator of a bigger problem that can reflect on your future relationships as well.
That is why it’s important that you address any underlying issues, figure out why your relationship ended, and what would you do differently if you were given a chance.
The need to reconnect with yourself after a breakup
The common dream of fighting with an ex is a true indicator of the need to reconnect with yourself after a breakup.
This dream basically represents the battle you have with yourself. So, I have a few questions for you to answer:
Do you feel like you’re not the same person anymore? Do you feel like you lost some parts of yourself in your previous relationship?
If yes, then this dream means that you should focus on yourself and think about the things you used to do before your relationship with your ex. After losing yourself in a relationship, you need to get in touch with your old self.
The fear of being hurt again
If you’ve been hurt in your previous relationship, it’s logical that you’ll be afraid of getting hurt again. It’s not something we can control, and we often don’t even pay attention to it until we start dreaming of our ex.
If you’re in a relationship and you’re dreaming about your ex, you might be afraid of getting hurt by your current partner.
One of my friends experienced constant lucid dreaming of her ex-husband who broke her heart. In case you’re not familiar with it, lucid dreaming happens when you know you’re dreaming while you’re asleep.
She remembers saying something like this to him in a dream: “Please, don’t hurt me again…” Given that she’s no longer with him, we can interpret this as her subconscious need to protect herself from future heartbreakers.
With that being said, here’s one thing to keep in mind: Knowing when to end things will save your soul.
Lack of self-love
Why do I keep dreaming about my ex? One of the reasons why you keep having recurring dreams about your ex is that you’re actually breaking up with yourself. This is especially true if you dream of reuniting with them.
Yes, it’s possible to break up with yourself by not giving yourself enough love. Lack of self-love can reflect in our dreams and in different contexts.
If you dream about reuniting with your ex, this actually means that you need to strengthen the relationships you have with yourself. You need to spoil yourself, do things you love, and be your best friend before anything else.
You miss some parts of your life with them
Dreaming of your ex can be a wish-fulfillment as well. You might not want your ex back, but you still miss some parts of your life with them.
Or, you saw something or heard something that reminded you of them. Maybe you visited your favorite place recently or talked about your favorite wellness topics.
Then, a few days ago, they somehow “magically” appeared in your dream. Well, this didn’t happen only once, but multiple times so far.
If you weren’t genuinely happy with your ex, forget about those parts of your life with them. Forget what you feel and remember what you deserve.
The need for closure
The need for closure is ingrained in our psyche. Whenever we break up with someone, we have to go through the process of accepting it and moving on.
If you can’t accept what happened and you keep questioning things regarding your past relationship, you will not be able to move on from a relationship.
The need for closure will become your main subconscious preoccupation. It will become a part of your everyday activities and your dreams as well.
The only thing you’ll think of is the new chapter of your life, which now seems miles away from you. Once you experience an act of closing, you will feel like this: You were a nightmare I finally woke up from.
Real life issue(s)
Why do I keep dreaming about my ex? Well, it could be a recent ex or an ex you keep dreaming about years later.
Sometimes, this has nothing to do with your ex at all, but it is connected with your current life. It could mean that there’s something in your life making you unhappy.
Look around you and evaluate your current love life, social life, and career. Do you think your current love life is toxic to your well-being? Then, consider leaving him or her.
The same thing applies to your friends and other close people. Think about how they complement your lifestyle and whether they are making you want to be a better person.
Are you dissatisfied with your career, and do you think you could have better chances at some other position or field of work?
Real-life issues will keep saying ‘Hi’ to you in your dreams until you roll up your sleeves and just deal with them.
See also: Dreaming About Another Man: 15 Hidden Meanings
Why Do I Keep Dreaming About My Ex: Spiritual Meaning
The spiritual meaning of dreaming about your ex revolves around the idea that someone is thinking about you (read: your ex) and they want to reunite with you.
Dreaming about your ex could mean that your ex is analyzing your previous relationship and trying to figure out why things ended the way they did. These thoughts can trigger their feelings as well, and that’s when they end up in your dreams.
If their desire to come back to you is really strong, you will dream of them. Dreams have the power to carry deeper meanings, especially when it comes to human relationships.
If you’re in a new relationship, it could mean that you’re anxious about things ending up the same way as they did in the previous one. You might even overthink things and start seeing signs of a potential breakup without real proof of it.
Our unconscious mind is a powerful force where all our insecurities, fear, anxiety, and unhappiness accumulate and then manifest in our dreams.
Why Do I Keep Dreaming About My Ex Years Later?
When you start dreaming of your ex years later, it’s normal for you to feel like your ex is trying to ruin your new relationship (if you’re in one). This isn’t (usually) the case.
If you keep dreaming of your ex years later, it can be interpreted as an evaluation of your current relationship. If you dream that you miss your ex, it could mean that you miss something that your new relationship lacks.
Also, dreaming about your ex years later can be a sign that you finally moved on and you’re ready for the next chapter of your life.
Why Do I Keep Dreaming About My Ex And I Getting Back Together?
The reason why you keep dreaming about getting back together with your ex is that you still have feelings for them. However, this is not the case for every individual.
Sometimes, this type of dream means that you’re still processing your breakup and waiting for closure.
If you haven’t moved on, it’s natural that you’ll have all kinds of thoughts and mixed feelings in your head and heart. These thoughts and feelings will find a way to manifest themselves in your dreams.
Does Dreaming About Your Ex Mean They Miss You?
No, dreaming about your ex doesn’t necessarily mean that they miss you. These kinds of dreams happen on a subconscious basis, and they are a combination of our personal thoughts and issues in our waking life.
Dreaming about your ex is a sign that your mind is processing the breakup.
Still, the hypothesis of your ex missing you is not completely excluded, but it can’t be confirmed by this one occurrence. You should look for signs your ex still cares and misses you.
Is It True That If You Dream Of Someone, They Dream Of You?
Two people dreaming of each other is not usually the case, but it can be a coincidence.
Whenever I dream of someone, the first thing that pops into my mind is the idea of them dreaming about me as well. I always think (or secretly hope) that if I dream of someone, they also dream of me.
If you think your ex is dreaming of you as well, I have to disappoint you by acknowledging the presence of superstition. In most cases, dreaming about someone has nothing to do with them dreaming about us.
Still, it’s not excluded. This might happen from time to time, but it’s really rare. It is a matter of coincidence.
It’s important to understand that the reason why we dream of someone is not because they dream of us, but because, for some reason, they are in our heads.
We dream about things, people, and events that have some significance in our lives or they come with unresolved feelings. We usually don’t dream about those dreaming of us, and vice versa.
How Can I Stop Dreaming About My Ex?
There aren’t magical ways to suddenly stop dreaming about your ex (or someone else), but there are some things you can do to lessen dreaming of them and eventually stop dreaming about them.
If you feel like you can’t stop dreaming about your ex, consider doing the following things (or some of them):
- Talk to your friends and loved ones about it
- Feel your emotions (don’t suppress them)
- Keep a dream journal
- Keep working on yourself
- Talk to a therapist
Evaluate the current situation and think about the things you could do to improve your love life and life in general. Also, the more closure you have with your ex, the less you’ll dream of them, so keep that one in mind.
The art of finding closure has never been easy, but in the end, it’s totally worth it.
We Dream About What Concerns Us Most
Why do I keep dreaming about my ex? Dreams are a double-edged sword. They can leave us feeling confused, and sometimes they are the piece of the missing puzzle in our heads.
Truth be told, we dream about what concerns us most. This reflects in our dreams either in direct or indirect ways.
Sometimes, dreaming of an ex is nothing more than a sign of an internal battle that we have with ourselves. Other times, it is connected with our ex.
Look inside you, listen to your intuition, and evaluate the relationship you have with yourself. Then, your dreams will start to make sense.
P.S. If you need more reasons regarding dreaming of your ex, here’s something to chew on: What Does It Mean When You Dream About Your Ex? 20 Explanations.