Wondering why men come back months later? What force drove them to type that message or make that call? Does it even mean anything or are you just overthinking it?
Well, one thing is for sure: it does mean something.
Your man’s reasons could either be selfish or he genuinely wants to be with you. However, even these two categories have too many subcategories.
And, it varies from man to man, so it’s up to you to analyze your situation with the help of this article.
Why Men Come Back Months Later: 19 Reasons
If you’re interested in knowing why exes come back into your life, consider the following reasons:
1. You’re the perfect woman.
It’s very simple. Your guy could come back because nobody else comes close. Maybe the connection he has with you is something he never experienced again.
So, he returns to your life because he feels like you’re the only one who understands him… his soulmate. He’s eager to show his real self to someone without being judged.
Overall, he feels like you’re the high-value woman he has always been looking for.
He left because he tried to find it elsewhere.. until he realized he’s had it all along.
2. He knows you still love him.
Yes, sometimes guys come back simply because they can. Your guy is probably aware of your feelings for him, but still takes you for granted.
Whenever he needs an ego boost, he’s back at your door. And, since you allow it to happen, he might do it repeatedly.
This type of man is too immature for a relationship, and doesn’t care if he’s hurting you.
All he knows is that you will always welcome him with open arms. He likes being loved by you, but doesn’t love you back.
3. He just wants sex.
It’s sad, but possible. He either can’t find a sexual partner or is bored with the chase. So, what does he do?
He comes back to the person who’ll definitely give him what he wants.
And, since you’re a woman, naturally, you overthink. You want sex to have meaning, so you convince yourself that he is being led by his emotions.
But, trust me… if he wanted something more than sex, he would let you know. He’s just not ready for a relationship.
Romance doesn’t exist. You just made it up. And, you deserve more than a made-up story.
4. The memories haunt him.
Maybe your ex-boyfriend saw a picture of you on social media or a meme that reminded him of the good old times. Maybe he thought of a joke you once said, and it triggered a whole thought process.
He was fighting his feelings for you and just HAD TO experience what you had together again. Not talking to you was something he couldn’t stand. He was ready for his fix.
But, that’s the problem. All you are to him is a fix.
Even if he actually cares about you deep down, as soon as he has his share of fulfillment, he will disappear again because he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
5. You’re a challenge.
A lot of the time, a man will come rushing back to you because he knows he can’t have you.
We all know that men are crazy about difficult women who keep rejecting them.
If he has already tried hooking up with you, but you didn’t want him or gave him mixed signals, he’ll want to try again.
He can’t stand rejection, but at the same time, he’s incredibly attracted to you.
He loves that you’re hard to get. And, in his mind, nothing could make him feel better than winning the heart of such a woman.
6. You got over him.
This is one of the most common reasons why men come back months later – THEY JUST CAN’T STAND THAT YOU MOVED ON!
If your guy sees what a perfect little life you’ve created for yourself in his absence, he will hate that he’s not a part of it.
So, of course, he will gravitate towards you again, disrupting your peace. He’s not even serious about you. This kind of man can’t stand being forgotten.
He comes back to remind you of his existence… to show you, or rather himself, that he’s worthy of being remembered.
7. He actually wants you back.
That’s right. Maybe his return isn’t any kind of self-serving game. Maybe he’s genuinely a good man who wants to get back together.
He had doubts the first time around, but the no contact rule made him realize that he loves you.
Have you noticed any signs that he still loves you? Do you feel like he wants to rekindle your old relationship?
If you’re not sure about the answers, that’s fine. But, I’ll tell you one thing:
Always trust your intuition.
Frankly, if we all followed it more often, we would be better off.
8. His friends encouraged him.
Ah, you can never be fully immune to the opinions of other people. So, it’s quite possible your guy was told that leaving you was the biggest mistake he has ever made.
Driven by guilt, he reaches out again. But, that guilt doesn’t even come from him.
It’s all just someone else’s deed. He doesn’t think you’re the one for him – they do.
You know your guy the best. If he’s easily influenced, this might just be the reason why he came back to you.
9. His relationship isn’t fulfilling.
This one’s truly a classic. If he already has a girlfriend, but still reaches out to you, that means he isn’t quite as happy as he seems.
That’s a common reason why men come back months later.
There is something missing in his relationship… something his girlfriend can’t offer him, but you can. That may be emotional support or teasing.
Whatever it is, it matters to him, and he needs you to fulfill his needs. As soon as he does it, he will either break up with his girlfriend or leave you… again.
10. Being a player doesn’t cut it for him.
Some men are afraid of love. They don’t like letting someone in because that means they might end up hurt.
So, they choose the easier option – casual flings that don’t mean anything.
Maybe your guy decided to hook up with random women from dating apps because he’s afraid of commitment.
All he wanted was to have fun with one, and then move on to the next…
If he came back to you, he probably had an epiphany.
He realized that being a womanizer didn’t make him as happy as he thought it would. He wants something meaningful after all.
He knows what a high-value woman you are, and he is finally ready to give you his heart.
11. He’s confused.
Men don’t always know what they want. Yours could genuinely be confused about the way he feels about you.
Maybe he isn’t even aware of his struggle, but something just pulls him towards you. He finds himself by your side without understanding what it really means.
But, why is he confused in the first place?
Well, he probably thinks he doesn’t have a chance, but is still tempted to talk to you.
His goal may or may not be a relationship with you, but one thing is for sure: he likes you very much.
12. He has regrets.
You just can’t live without regretting certain choices, can you? That’s why men come back months later sometimes. They regret breaking up.
Maybe your guy has just realized how great his relationship with you was, and now he wants to fix things. He wants to show you what a huge mistake he made.
You’ll know that this is his goal if he puts in a lot of effort to regain what he lost. The amount of effort equals his love for you.
Would you be ready to give him another chance?
13. He’s just bored.
Well, isn’t that just peachy?! A man reaching out to you because he is too lazy to start a new relationship! Imagine being nothing but someone’s entertainment.
That probably hurts a lot, especially if you care about him. But, unfortunately, you’re going to have to care about yourself more.
No matter how much you love him, realize that you are nothing to him but a way to kill his boredom. He doesn’t value what you have to offer. He just doesn’t know where else to look.
Do you really want to be someone’s option? Will you accept a guy who only gives you the bare minimum?
14. He doesn’t have anybody else.
It just gets sadder, doesn’t it? The reason why men come back months later could also be a lack of female company.
He probably doesn’t have a girlfriend nor did he meet anyone new who intrigued him. So, what does he do? He goes back to someone he will surely enjoy – you.
I know a part of you is flattered, but it really shouldn’t be. This guy isn’t serious about you. He’s just using you because he doesn’t like the single life.
He left you because he didn’t care enough about you in the first place, and it’s unlikely he will care this time.
This doesn’t mean you are flawed and undeserving of him. On the contrary, he is undeserving of YOU.
You should only accept a man who comes to you because no one else can compare; a man who makes you his priority.
15. He’s finally ready to be with you.
Just because you want a great love life doesn’t mean you’re ready for it. Sometimes, you need a second time.
The sad truth is that you can’t be in a healthy relationship unless you’re at peace with yourself. I mean, you can, but it will be very difficult.
Maybe your loved one needed a lot of time to find himself first. Maybe he was too emotionally unbalanced, which didn’t allow him to be with you at the beginning.
He probably thought it would be best to go your separate ways until he became a better person.
And, now that he has grown, he is finally able to love you in the way he has always wanted.
16. Someone was talking about you.
It’s always a pain when someone randomly mentions a person you once loved and lost. And, sometimes the heartbreak is so great that you decide to reach out to them.
This could be the reason why your guy couldn’t resist talking to you again. All the memories came rushing back to his mind, and he wanted to feel what he once felt with you.
If he does this, he cares about you very much. No amount of time or long distance can get you out of his head. Only one word is enough for him to text/call you again.
Still, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he will stay. Chances ARE high if he has done it this one time, but if he keeps coming back, that’s a major red flag.
Perhaps he loves you… just not in the way you deserve.
17. His relationship failed.
When your relationship ends, it’s natural to seek comfort. People do it by talking to friends, drinking a bit too much… or simply going back to their ex-girlfriend who will always have them.
I know this isn’t the answer you were looking for, but you might just be his consolation prize.
He probably lost the one he wanted and didn’t know where else to go. The only one who came to mind was you.
Trust me, you deserve so much more than being with someone who comes to you because you’re the only one available.
No matter how much you care about him, have enough self-control not to be there for him. Even if you’re dying to have a chat, be stronger than your desire.
He doesn’t deserve even five minutes of your time. Devote it to someone who will be with you because they can’t imagine being with anyone else.
18. He’s going through a guilt trip.
Did he hurt you the last time you talked? Was he cheating on you?
If your relationship ended badly, it is possible he still blames himself. So, to ease his own consciousness, he seeks you out.
You might think your ex wants to be with you again, but if he came back only to quieten his thoughts, his motives are actually selfish.
He doesn’t care about how you feel. He just can’t stand that he feels bad over what he did to you.
If he did care, he wouldn’t be in your life again because he knows his return might ruin the peace you have created without him.
But, your peace isn’t on his priority list, even though he might convince himself that it is.
Coming back into someone’s life on a whim is never the right thing to do.
19. He’s just checking up on you.
No, the reason why men come back months later isn’t always that deep. Even if he wants to talk to you, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he holds any value to those conversations.
Maybe it just occurred to him: ”Oh, I haven’t talked to her in a while! I’ll see what she’s up to.”
Of course, there’s nothing bad with checking up on people. But, if it hurts you every time he comes back, don’t allow it to happen again.
Your mental health comes first.
Final Thoughts
Hopefully, it has become much clearer to you why men come back months later. Every man is different, and it’s up to you to realize the motives of your ex.
However, it’s very important to be honest with yourself. Don’t paint the picture prettier than it is. Don’t mistake his attention for love.
Every relationship expert would tell you the same thing:
Even if it’s killing you inside, you deserve to be treated like a queen. If you’re not his priority, don’t let him be in your life any longer.
How he treats you is far more important than how you feel about him.
