It seems that the saying, out of sight and out of mind, really is true in your case. I understand that it might be hard for you, but both of you know that it is time.
In fact, knowing when to let go of a long distance relationship is crucial. If you’ve been separated and you feel like something has changed, it is time to end the relationship.
It’s normal that after weeks of not seeing each other, you drifted apart. What you need to do now is address how you both truly feel, and either stay together or split up.
I am bringing you this article to help you figure out some of the red flags and tips that it’s time to end it, and ideas on how to make your long distance relationship work.
25 Tips For When To Let Go Of A Long Distance Relationship
Just like a normal relationship, a long distance relationship will fail when one or both sides stop putting effort into it. Here are some signs of when to let go of a long distance relationship:
1. Something is off.
You feel like something isn’t right… your partner is hiding something from you or they aren’t interested anymore.
Even worse, your partner might be feeling the same way. Before, it was phone calls and texting all the time… now the texting app is constantly dry.
If this is how you feel, and you know your partner is feeling the same, then trust your gut feeling. In fact, it is telling you that something is not the way it should be. Therefore, either talk about it with your partner or wait for your relationship to collapse.
2. Lack of communication.
It is easy to get caught up in our own lives and forget about the person we are supposed to be in a relationship with.
We can easily spend hours on social media or watching TV without thinking about what our partner might be doing at that moment.
But, what is happening with our relationship while we endlessly scroll through our feed? Our partner might be worried about the whole long-distance deal and might be ready to quit all of it. Remember, if there is no interaction, there is no relationship.
3. No intimacy.
You finally get to meet up with your favorite person for the first time after they moved. You’re super excited, and things work out amazingly when you’re eating and spending time together.
Once you’re back home, there is no intimacy. It’s like you’re chilling with a friend. If this happens, it is a clear sign your long-distance relationship is in jeopardy.
4. You’re exhausted.
It can be the constant fights, the one-sided talks, or no more sexting, but you feel exhausted from giving all of your energy to this relationship. In fact, you feel like the other side isn’t giving anything back.
Relationships are a two-way street. When one person is exhausted, the other person needs to be understanding and supportive, and take the load.
Sometimes, you have to be honest. If the relationship is not going well, it’s either time to fix your relationship or break up.
5. Fighting all the time.
Fighting is a natural part of any relationship. It is not something that you can avoid. But, what if you are fighting all the time? What if your fights are never-ending? This is especially bad for both your mental health and your long-distance relationship.
You should know that there is no one-size-fits-all solution to this problem. Every couple has different needs and expectations, but talking about your problems calmly is the first step. That is, only if you really want to correct the problem.
6. You’re chasing them.
You constantly feel like you’re in a one-sided relationship. You make all the calls, all the plans… you initiate everything. In the meanwhile, your partner sits back in his apartment so far away from you, saying: “Yes, of course.”
Let go of your long-distance relationship. If this is true, it might be time to talk about it. If it’s unfixable or your partner doesn’t want to fix it, just break it all off.
7. No plans.
What do you have planned for Thanksgiving and the Holidays? No clue? It might be time to break even. Honestly, if you have no plans together or any plans for your relationship, then what is the point of this long-distance relationship?
In the first place, what are your personal goals?
When will you see each other? When will this long-distance part of your relationship end? If you don’t have an answer, it might be a sign your partner isn’t serious about this.
8. No calls.
One of the most common signs your long-distance relationship is declining is when you two stop calling. It doesn’t have to be phone calls. It can be Skype, Facetime, or any other communication app.
The main thing is, you don’t have that much time, and you don’t communicate as much as you used to. This lack of affection and communication, which will soon affect your connection and make you doubtful.
9. Fear of letting go.
The fear of letting go of a relationship is a common one. It is natural to feel like you are losing something that has been an important part of your life for so long.
You may have been in the relationship for years, and it is hard to imagine what your life would be like without them. This is another sign that you are facing the insecurities of breaking up. Believe me, it’s not easy, but it’s better than constantly handling this baggage.
10. No appreciation.
You went through so much to make the perfect Valentine’s day gift, and all you got was a dry text? If this is one of the things you’re facing, your partner is most likely not appreciating you at all.
A lot of people face this, meaning that you are not alone. If this is the case in your long-distance relationship, try to talk to your partner about it. Not all is lost. If they also want this relationship to work, they will try to fix the problem.
11. Anxiety.
How can you become closer to each other? Once this topic comes along, they become defensive as if you’re asking them to move right away.
Sometimes, it gets so bad that it gives you anxiety. Remember, no relationship, not a long-distance one either, is supposed to be so hard on your mental health.
Therefore, if your relationship brings more bad than good, it might be a sign it’s time to end things.
12. No personal growth.
Your plans were that when moving, you would give your life meaning and make yourself have more of a quality life than the one you had before. Now, you’re thinking the new city is too dull for you.
What happened is that your partner and your relationship stopped your personal growth and plans. Now, you’re spending so much time involved in your relationship that you don’t have time for personal growth.
13. Lacking goals and direction.
Like I’ve said in some of the previous signs of when to let go of a long distance relationship, once you don’t see a future in your relationship anymore, it’s time to leave.
If your relationship is lacking goals and direction, and if your partner constantly avoids this question, it’s time to see the truth. That is, your relationship probably doesn’t have a future at all.
14. It’s baggage.
You feel something is weighing you down in your pursuit of a better life. What could it be? I’ll tell you… it’s your relationship that is posing as baggage in your life. It gives you mood swings and makes you anxious and angry.
In long-distance relationships, this can be seen when one partner is more committed or invested in the relationship than the other. The more committed individual does all the work while the other side slows and weighs them down.
15. You changed.
This new city you’ve moved to has changed you. You have more time to invest in yourself, so you’re going to yoga classes, trying out new restaurants, and meeting new supportive friends. It’s clear that you are a different person now.
Your partner hasn’t moved a muscle, and you feel jealous of yourself and your prosperity. If you no longer feel like your partner is a good match for you. Trust this instinct and talk to them about it.
16. Too much to handle.
For some couples, long distance is just not the right deal. No matter how hard they try, they like traditional communication, and they just can’t seem to add the little things that make them happy when video calling over Skype.
Therefore, some couples choose to end their long distance relationship because long distance is too overwhelming for them.
17. Tension.
You can feel the tension. It’s so thick that you can cut it with a knife. This is how you feel when talking to your long-distance partner. You know something is wrong, they are jealous, and you can’t see a future together anymore.
Being like this, you drive through your relationship like you’re on autopilot. Believe me… this doesn’t seem right in so many ways.
If there is tension between you, it’s not the end of the relationship, but if you’ve outgrown your partner, it’s time to tell them.
18. Toxic relationship.
Yes, even a long-distance relationship can be toxic. It is important to know the signs of a toxic relationship so that you can avoid them, or at least pinpoint them when they happen.
A toxic relationship is one that is harmful to your mental and physical health. They can be caused by many things, such as abuse, neglect, or addiction.
Some signs of a toxic relationship include lack of trust, and disrespect for each other’s feelings, opinions, thoughts.
19. Trust issues.
Trust is the foundation of any relationship. Without it, there can be no intimacy, no love, and no happiness. Trusting each other in a relationship works both ways.
It takes time and effort to build trust in someone, but it only takes a moment to destroy it.
In other words, if your partner is facing trust issues that have zero bases in reality, and if their mind is constantly making them jealous without reason, it’s time to talk.
Reassure your partner that they have no reason not to trust you. If it persists, run as fast as you can!
20. No romance.
Romance is an essential part of any relationship. It is the glue that keeps the relationship together. It is what makes us feel loved and appreciated by our partners.
There are many different ways to show your partner that you love them. If your relationship has stopped being romantic, it might not just be the fact that your honeymoon phase ended.
If romance stops being a key player in the game, it might be a surefire sign that your long distance relationship will soon reach its end.
21. Suspecting.
Trust issues and our gut feeling often turn out to be true. The distance might have created a wedge between you and your partner, and now you might be facing one of those awful questions: Are they cheating on me?
If you are suspecting something so awful, or if you’re generally suspecting something that might end your relationship, like lies or outgrowing, it’s time to think long and hard.
Will you proceed just to suspect, try to find out the truth, or end the relationship as soon as possible.
22. Outgrown.
It’s the classic college story. One moves to a college city and grows, while the other stays in their hometown and weighs down the other.
Now, if this isn’t a horror story, I don’t know what is. In any case, this story is bound to end badly for the one who is getting dumped.
Let’s face it… we are not our high school selves, and teen romances mostly don’t work out. If you’ve outgrown your partner and are starting to see how much you’ve changed every time you talk to them, it’s time to be honest.
Do you even see a future together with a childish person? I don’t think you do.
23. No effort.
Another sign you’re stuck in a do-it-yourself, long-distance relationship is that you don’t see your partner giving any effort into your complicated relationship. All the calls, messages, and romance come from you.
If this is the case, and you’re having a hard time deciding what to do, let me help you: Your battery will run out, and the relationship will end up like a trainwreck. To try and save it, talk to your partner and make them do a little bit more.
24. Chase.
You constantly feel like you’re chasing your partner and asking them to do the things they should be doing in any long-distance relationship. It’s like they are avoiding you, and you keep asking for more.
It’s a constant chase with them, but this should tell you that they are, in fact, not interested anymore, and they are still there only because they are thinking of reasons to break up.
25. Too many trials.
I understand you might be facing too many trials in your long distance relationship to even think of keeping going with it.
It might be a combination of trust issues, no communication, and lack of your well-being. You might just be fed up with your partner.
If you believe your relationship is over, then talk to your partner or go to couples counseling. They have the right to know how you feel. Don’t forget to be honest and say exactly what you have noticed.
It might be hard, and you might feel guilty for doing it while they are not here, but this relationship is not worth your mental health.
What Ruins A Long Distance Relationship?
Now that we know the signs of when to let go of a long distance relationship, it is time to understand where it all went wrong. In fact, long distance relationships are generally ruined mostly by partners not giving effort to the relationship.
In fact, one or both partners stop giving attention to the relationship, meaning that they have lost interest in it altogether. Examples of these signs include fewer phone calls and video calls, and no face-to-face meet-up with your long distance partner.
You can find yourself or your partner doing all the hard work that needs to be done while the other person sits back. Does this sound like a healthy relationship? No, it sounds like you are facing a lack of communication and interest.
To save you the heartbreak, the bottom line is when one or both partners lose interest in the relationship, long distance couples soon fail.
Remember, your relationship needs a steady flow of communication and interest, and a lot of time spent thinking about what to do better. In the end, it’s just like a normal relationship. Yours only has a few more miles to cover.
Therefore, we can conclude that long distance relationships fail when relationship issues overcome all the positive sides of the relationship. The same goes for no-distance relationships as well.
In the end, there are a lot of success stories of long distance relationships, but all those people never stopped putting effort into their relationship.
Can Long Distance Relationships Be Successful?
Yes, long distance relationships can be a success. Of course, there is a smaller chance of success than in regular relationships, but it is still probable.
In fact, a study found that 52% of long distance relationships work out and result in either living together and proceeding with a no-distance relationship or the partners splitting up.
With that being said, we all know that long distance relationships are not easy. They require a lot of effort and commitment from both partners.
But, if you are in a long distance relationship, there is no reason to give up on it even before it starts.
How to make your long distance relationship successful
There are many ways to make your long distance relationship successful, and here are some of them:
• Be honest with your partner about how you feel and what you need.
• Make sure that the two of you have enough time to talk on the phone or video chat at least once every day.
• Try to visit each other as often as possible – even if it’s just for a few days at a time.
• Keep in touch with each other by sending text messages, emails, or social media messages throughout the day.
• Be honest with yourself and your partner about the challenges that you will face in the relationship.
• Don’t sugarcoat anything because this will only worsen things in the long run.
• Both partners need to have a strong sense of independence and self-reliance. This way, they can feel confident in their own skills and abilities without feeling like they need their partner all the time.
• It’s important for both partners to want to succeed, and that both of them are ready to work for their goals.
To Conclude
In the end, after looking at several telltale signs of when to let go of a long distance relationship and other interesting questions we might be facing, we have learned a lot.
For instance, we know that our partner has the right to know when our feelings change.
Remember, both long distance and no-distance relationships fail for a number of reasons. The distance may not have even posed that big of a problem to you two. It’s most likely that you just drifted apart.
Finally, don’t be afraid to let go. Romantic relationships are like trial and error, and finding a significant other who cares about us is our priority.