When is a woman seen as unattractive? Is it their physical appearance, their bad skin, or the fact that their face looks nothing like their profile pic? Or, is it something else entirely? What do you think are the signs you are unattractive?
I personally think that being an ugly duckling has more to do with your personality than with what you look like. If you want to know what I mean by this, I advise you to read on.
Buckle up for this one because it’s going to change your life!
40 Signs You Are Unattractive
Do you really belong to the category of unattractive people… or is it just your insecurities? How do you know the right answer?
If you’re too curious, yet unable to figure it out on your own, read the following paragraphs to be enlightened!
1. Sense of humor not detected.
Let’s be honest here – you could be the most attractive person in the world, but if you don’t have a good sense of humor, you won’t keep a guy interested.
It has happened to me so many times. I see someone extremely good-looking, but as soon as they open their mouth, I don’t feel what I had felt a few seconds before.
Cringey jokes are a big NO. Why not spice it up and add some sassiness and sarcasm? The world would then be a much better place.
2. No confidence.
A lot of people struggle with confidence issues, but the sad truth is that it takes away your attractiveness. If you don’t like yourself, who will?
Of course, I’m just generally speaking about this. You could still be attractive to some guys, and having this problem doesn’t mean nobody’s ever going to love you.
Still, don’t you just pass out when you see a confident person who shows it in both their body language and in the way they talk?
If you want someone to pass out for you, try loving yourself more. Step by step, and you’ll be there in no time! (Or, as they say, fake it until you make it).
3. Personal hygiene neglected.
Warriors that have just come home from battle all dirty and bloody are indeed handsome… in theory. But, when you tend not to take care of yourself physically in real life, that’s another story.
If you don’t shower regularly and wear clothes that aren’t that clean, it’s very noticeable. I’m sorry to say it, but no guy wants to be near a girl if their body isn’t clean or if they smell bad. I’m sure you’d agree.
So, try working on that not only for the sake of others, but also for yourself. If you have mental issues that make this harder for you, please reach out to a therapist.
4. Opinions of others are gospel.
Do you constantly seek other people’s approval?
Do you adjust your life choices to suit their opinions?
If you do, I have to admit… that’s bad news. Nobody wants someone who’s so unsure of themselves that they always look at the way others live their lives. Nobody wants someone who hesitates to do something because they know it would be frowned upon.
If you really want to be attractive, remember your own individuality, and don’t treat yourself as if you matter only when others say you matter.
5. Your fashion sense.
Now, I’m not saying that the only way you can look good is if you follow the latest fashion trends. On the contrary… you will look good when you find EXACTLY which style suits you.
I remember I used to force some sporty style only because it was ‘in’. And, then I discovered the beauty of feminine clothing, and I’ve never felt better!
The only thing you really have to do is figure out what feels good for YOU. It doesn’t matter if you’re a girly girl or a tomboy as long as you find the style that perfectly matches your personality.
6. Dull topics.
I’m sorry, but if you talk about things that don’t interest anyone around you, chances are that you are perceived as unattractive.
Of course, it’s perfectly fine to share your interests. That’s how you connect with people. But, you have to understand that this is not only about you.
Tell me – would you want a partner who sucks the life out of you by talking about something you’re not at ALL curious about? Probably not.
So, go out there and ask questions! Talk about things you find fascinating, but allow them to do the same. If they don’t want to listen to you at all, don’t change your topic, but rather your company.
7. Controlled by others.
Do you always listen to other people’s advice?
Do you never have an opinion of your own?
If so, know that that’s both bad for you, and it makes you very unattractive at the same time.
People feel curious about women with strong opinions who aren’t afraid to share them, along with those who make up their own rules in life.
8. Feelings of grandeur.
When you think you’re better than everyone else, it usually shows. It can be seen in the way you talk without ever listening to someone else’s side, or in the way you can’t wait for an opportunity to bring someone down.
If guys don’t approach you, that’s one of the signs you are unattractive. Why? Well, who wants to be in the company of someone whose overconfidence makes them think everyone is beneath them?
If you want to be seen in a different light, what you have to do is pretty simple – see other people’s worth, and they’ll see yours.
9. Too much effort.
Do you go out of your way to look good in front of others?
Do you try to get their attention even when it’s perfectly clear they don’t want you near?
If you do, STOP IT. There is seriously no bigger turn off than trying hard for someone who’s not interested in anything you have to offer, even more so when you don’t like them at all.
Make an effort, but don’t overdo it. If you sense that you and the other person aren’t a match in any way, just leave.
10. Uncomfortable silences.
Lately, I’ve found that in order for guys to see you as attractive, you can’t afford silence. If you’re the silent type, I want you to know that that’s fine. Someone WILL look past that and do their best to meet the real you.
But, what’s true still stands. If they see that they can’t approach you for a conversation because you don’t talk much, chances are – they won’t.
You don’t have to change the core of who you are, BUT at least try to learn how to talk to a guy you like. Let them know you. You’ll see how wonderful it can be.
Trust me, there’s always a way to keep a conversation going.
11. Anger issues.
This doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve love, but it’s not only about you.
In the end, it only matters that you don’t run away from your problems. If you work on them, others will be attracted to your strength and responsibility.
12. Body movement says it all.
More often than not, when you believe you’re unattractive, it shows in your body language. Maybe you’re stiff and you always look down.
Either way, guys notice it and start sharing your beliefs. Don’t let that happen.
Practice positive affirmations and, once again, fake it until you make it. More confident body language will make you feel better about yourself.
13. All is yours to command.
Are you a control freak who’s unwilling to let others be?
Can nothing exist without your supervision?
If so, I hate to break it to you, but it’s not your job to be in control of everything, and this is one of the major signs you are unattractive.
Be who you are behind closed doors, but once you get out, nothing is yours to control anymore.
14. Other people are your toys.
Now, I want you to gently touch the hair on your head. Do you see a crown anywhere on it? I think the hell not.
I think you understand that you have no authority over other people, and no right to use them for your own amusement.
Next time you act that way, remember that real attractiveness is humility.
15. Forever unhelpful.
Do you just stand by when you see someone in need?
Are you unwilling to help because you just want to WIN?
Just so you know, winning IS attractive, but if you’re indifferent about other people’s problems because you only have one goal in mind, that’s a different story.
Beautiful people care about others and, in turn, become even more beautiful.
16. Stuck in childhood.
I know that dealing with past trauma is hard, but you also have to understand that guys seek a mature partner who’s ready to fight for themselves.
You’re not to blame if you struggle, but neither are they for wanting something different.
If you want to be seen as attractive, you might want to work on your issues. As long as you keep making an effort, you’ll be fine. Just don’t give up on yourself.
Trust me, being strong enough to handle yourself is insanely hot.
17. No emotional intelligence.
I’m sorry, but if you’re incapable of admitting to yourself who you truly are, that’s one of the signs of unattractiveness. There’s nothing worse than talking to a person who has no self-consciousness and who can’t see their own faults.
I have to admit that no matter how handsome I find someone, if I sense that they lack the emotional intelligence to read themselves as well as others, my opinion changes in an instant.
If you can relate, you should probably work on that a bit. Do it not only so that men finally see you as attractive, but also because your life will be much better and more enlightening.
18. No moving outside the box.
Which trait beats every other in its unattractiveness? I would say, without a doubt, not being able to think outside the box.
If you’re sexist, homophobic, and generally hold on to beliefs without EVER questioning them, all your beauty stops meaning anything.
The real beauty is open-mindedness and acceptance of other people’s differences. And, you still have the power to change that because meeting all kinds of people will make your life so much more profound.
19. Why so serious?
I’m not going to lie. Serious and mysterious individuals do attract me; HOWEVER, if you never make jokes and you constantly frown, that’s a major red flag.
Be honest with yourself. Would you date someone who NEVER laughs?
20. No consideration for others.
Imagine being with a group of people. You keep talking, yet nobody listens to you. And then, one of them starts looking at you and commenting on what you said.
Wouldn’t you instantly be more attracted to them? Wouldn’t all the others cease to exist no matter how attractive they are?
Consideration for another human being goes a long way. Nobody likes a woman who’s not able to notice that they’re not the only person in the room. Make your man feel special, too.
21. No self-control.
If you’re not able to control yourself, you’ll probably try to control those around you. That’s the way it usually goes, and that’s one of the signs you are unattractive.
If you truly want to be perceived in a different light, you might want to look for the root causes of your problems.
You’ll see how your life will transform once you reach self-mastery.
22. Nothing exists but you.
Do you like to be the center of attention? Do you disregard what others have to say? Do you only show up for events because you’re eager to be seen?
Well, I don’t know if anyone has ever told you this before, but the world doesn’t revolve around you. You’re only a speck in the universe just as the rest of us. The day you realize that will be the day you’re finally free… and more attractive.
Don’t mistake your narcissistic tendencies with confidence. Real confidence is believing in yourself so much that you don’t feel the need to compete with others. That’s what is truly hot and what makes you a good girlfriend.
23. Hairstyle that doesn’t match your interior.
If people are constantly telling you to change your hair, that might also be one of the signs you are unattractive. Maybe the way you style it isn’t all that good. I mean no offense… what I mean is simply this: you still haven’t found yourself.
I believe that having a hairstyle that doesn’t match our interior makes us unattractive. Once you embrace who you are, your style changes, along with your overall level of attractiveness.
So, go and do some experiments!
24. No life without the help of others.
When we’re children, we often dream of becoming adults because what we want most is INDEPENDENCE. Yet, somehow, even when we grow older, we find that we still need the help of others. This only becomes a problem when we need it more often than not.
Truly attractive women know how to live their lives without anyone’s guidance. Strive for such independence for your own sake.
Others aren’t any more capable than you are.
25. Forever at the crossroads.
You may be good looking, but if you have no vision of a future life at all, that’s also one of the signs you are unattractive.
A truly hot person is focused on achieving their goals. If you never know what you want, it drives guys away.
The bottom line – pay attention to yourself first. Improve your own life and the rest will follow.
26. Bad manners.
You don’t need plastic surgery to be attractive… only good manners. If men don’t like being around you, it might just be your impoliteness.
Do you notice them getting uncomfortable when you say stuff?
Have they ever openly expressed that you should be more considerate sometimes?
Well, there’s one of the signs you are unattractive. Quite frankly, you should be glad. If it were Hannibal Lecter instead of them, you’d be a meal by now. So, do try to practice kindness a bit more often. Baby steps! I believe in you.
27. Unwise choice of words.
You don’t have to walk on eggshells around everyone. That is too exhausting, and not your responsibility.
However, there are still general rules of kindness as well as words that are so obviously inappropriate and hurtful. Avoid them. They make up an ugly person.
28. Personal space? What do you mean by that?
Do you know that one person who always comes to you even when you so clearly don’t want them to be there?
Are you that person?
Know that that’s extremely unattractive. Ask people if you can join them, and look for clues in their body language. Don’t be pushy and desperate.
29. Not one relaxed bone in your body.
I admit, I’m quite an anxious individual myself, and I’m perfectly aware that my good looks (modesty undetected) can’t help me there.
Guys just aren’t attracted to someone who’s worried all the time, someone who can’t just stop and enjoy life. What can you do then? Should you change?
The answer is yes… but not for them. Change in order to be able to experience the world as you were always meant to experience it. And, you know, you might find your soulmate along the way, too…
Conquer yourself, and watch how easily you can win any heart over.
30. No interest in listening to others.
I’ll be frank with you – if you’re the person who likes talking without ever paying attention to what the other person has to say, that is extremely rude, and therefore, unattractive.
One time in high school, I went out with a guy who pretty much forgot I was there at all. He was having a great time, though, entertaining himself. I, on the other hand, have never had a worse date.
Remember – the conversation is not only about you. It goes both ways. Be curious about your man’s life. Ask him questions, give him nicknames… just INVOLVE him. Trust me, the level of your attractiveness will rise just like that.
31. XOXO gossip girl.
You might think your tendency to talk about other people’s lives is cute, but trust me, it is NOT.
That not only shows how afraid you are to face yourself, but also, IT’S EXHAUSTING AS HELL.
Nobody wants to comment on the lives of random people. A truly attractive person talks about themselves, and isn’t afraid to show you the core of who they are.
Gossip is just a distraction and a sign of self-hatred. Stop it. Now.
32. No kind word in your vocabulary.
You might think it’s cool to be rude, but let me tell you honestly: when people see you disrespecting someone weaker than you, the word that comes out of their mouth surely isn’t ‘cool.’
Such actions are awful, and if you think people respect you and admire you… it’s only due to fear.
Do you know what’s truly admirable and attractive? Encouraging someone in their time of need, giving compliments, and congratulating them on their success… Rudeness is nothing but weakness, and one of the signs you are unattractive.
33. Perpetual small talk.
Quite frankly, I would rather spend the rest of my days in complete solitude than to be with someone who only engages in small talk.
It’s fine every now and then, but if you’re not ready to dive deeper, we have nothing to discuss anymore no matter how great the physical attraction is.
What are you so afraid of? Why don’t you try connecting with someone on a deeper level? You’ll see how extraordinary that can be… and how more attractive you’ll be in the eyes of others.
34. Too desperate to fit in.
Do you always adjust your personality to those around you? Do you constantly seek their approval?
If so, I hate to break it to you… nobody likes that. You’ve probably noticed how, even after all your efforts, nobody still notices you. That’s because it’s your strenuous efforts that drive them away.
So, go out there and hang out with people you don’t have to try so hard for.
“Why fit in when you were born to STAND OUT!” – Dr Seuss
35. Lack of enthusiasm.
Honestly, not even looking like Nina Dobrev could save you from a lack of passion. If you don’t have any field of interest that you’re absolutely obsessed about and want to share it with the world, that’s a big no.
Besides, how do you even manage to exist without passion? Do you not know how wonderful your life can get?
The level of our attractiveness always rises when we talk about the things we love, be that our job or just an anime we’ve recently watched. So, if you haven’t, go and find your passion.
36. Boundaries? What’s that?
I hope you understand that men are individuals who are in total possession of their time. It is not on you to blame them for how they spend it.
Offer them your attention and your love, but remember that they have the right to set boundaries… and so do you.
37. Bad posture
”Straighten your back, you banana-shaped creature,” I say to myself as I walk down the street. If you have the same problem, I allow you to steal my mantra.
I know how difficult it is to have a bad posture, and that may be slightly unattractive, but it’s nothing you can’t work on.
Find the proper exercises and do them every day. You’ll see how your posture will improve in no time, and I’m truly speaking from experience. It IS possible. So, my fellow banana-shaped creature, off you go!
38. No interest in self-progress.
I’m too picky, and one of the reasons why I’m single is this: I see no people who are willing to work on themselves.
They just exist and never question anything. Days pass by, and they never wonder what they could do to become better people, and to build a better life for themselves.
Their lack of self-knowledge and lack of interest in the matters of the mind just pull me away.
On the other hand, when someone admits how flawed they are, and when they question the decisions they’ve made because they’re hungry for self-improvement of all kinds… they’ve done half the job of winning me over.
39. Suppressed self.
Suppressing certain parts of yourself is normal at the beginning of every relationship, but if you continue doing it, that becomes an issue.
If you want a fulfilling relationship of any kind, just be truthful. You can have your privacy, but there’s no need for hiding who you really are.
40. You are reading this.
If you’re here, you already believe that you are not attractive. Does that make it true? Well, not really.
That only means that you lack the self-confidence needed to release your inner self. And, as we’ve established, there’s nothing more beautiful than you unapologetically being yourself.
In the end, it’s all about how we see ourselves. If you show other people that you don’t think you’re all that hot, chances are, they’re going to believe it, too.
Now, go and take a selfie and admire your own beauty! I dare you!
How Do I Know If I Am Attractive?
Truthfully, we are all attractive in our own way, but we usually don’t see it unless someone else points it out. We are too eager to be validated and admired.
But, how can we figure out if we are attractive by ourselves? What traits should we have in order to be seen that way? Here are some examples:
1. You practice self-acceptance, but still don’t focus on the negative thoughts.
2. You maintain eye contact while talking.
3. Your social media accounts are full of admirers.
4. Your best friends and co-workers constantly praise your beauty.
5. Members of the opposite sex (or those of the same) approach you all the time.
6. Your Tinder account is blowing up with messages!
7. You just feel the glances of admiration!
All In All
Being ugly has more to do with feeling ugly than anything else. So, the question you should be asking yourself isn’t ‘what are the signs you are unattractive’, but rather ‘what can I do to improve my lifestyle’?
Take care of your mental health, do your skincare routine, and you’ll see how your self-esteem flourishes in no time (as well as your love life)!