It’s a well-known fact that all narcissists are skilled manipulators and liars. But the real question remains how to trick a narcissist into telling the truth.
Is there even a way to do so? Is it possible to surpass their deceptions and defeat them at their own game?
Well, whoever told you it isn’t, didn’t know these tricks!
How to trick a narcissist into telling the truth
Here’s a 14-step-program on how to trick a narcissist into telling the truth.
1. Find their vulnerabilities and insecurities
When you’re dealing with someone who has a narcissistic personality disorder, sometimes you have to become similar to them to get what you want. That’s exactly why your first step must be connected to finding this person’s vulnerable side.
Don’t let them trick you into thinking that they’re some kind of superhuman who can survive anything. Trust me, this person has their share of weaknesses, just like the rest of us. But they’re doing their best to hide them.
Well, if you’re in any kind of toxic relationship with them, it means that you’re in. You’ve gained access to their personality, and now, it’s time to put it to good use.
Do your best to put your emotions aside and pay attention to this person. Pretend that you’re seeing them for the first time. What is it that you notice?
What is the worst thing you could do to them? What are their biggest fears? These are the things you can use against them to hurt them emotionally.
See also: Ways To Emotionally Wound A Narc.
2. Confront their lies
It doesn’t matter if we’re talking about a narcissistic partner, a narcissistic mother, or a friend with an NPD. The worst thing you can do is pretend like everything is perfectly okay when you know very well they’re not telling the truth.
This is the type of behavior every victim of narcissistic abuse is guilty of. You’re sick and tired of arguing all the time. Besides, you’re convinced that you won’t get anywhere with it.
You already know the drill. You claim that they’re lying, and they claim that they’re telling the truth, and it goes on and on until one of you backs down.
So after a while, you decided to go with the flow and ignore their lies. Well, that’s your number one mistake. By doing this, you’re just giving them the green light to continue with their toxic behavior.
That’s why this has got to come to an end. It’s time you confront their lies and show them you have them all figured out.
Tell them straight that you know they’re lying. There is nothing they could say or do to make you change your mind and to make you believe them!
3. Ignore their feelings
How to trick a narcissist into telling the truth: Well, first of all, you have to figure out how to deal with covert narcissists. Don’t expect them to tell the truth just because you ask them politely. Instead, you’ll have to break them to get what you want.
What do people suffering from NPD secretly want from their victims? That’s right, they’re looking for validation. This is especially true for malignant narcissists who are socially isolated and probably have just you in their lives.
Well, if you want to get them to tell the truth, you have to ignore them and their feelings. It doesn’t matter if they’re heartbroken or sad – you have to act like you couldn’t care less about it.
Trust me, they’re just playing the victim so you give up on your quest for the truth. Tricking you is part of their narcissistic behavior.
You have to remain cold-hearted even if you see a narcissist crying or acting like they’re falling apart right in front of you.
4. Go no contact
If you’re trying to figure out how to trick a narcissist into telling the truth, maybe the best way to do so is to give them some time for self-reflection. Make them feel your absence, make them think about their actions, and most importantly, make them afraid of losing you.
There is no doubt about one thing: your narcissist will come crawling back sooner than you might think. After all, they need you more than you need them.
But you have to be firm and consistent. Tell them that the only way to break the no contact period is to tell the truth and stop with the lies.
At first, they probably won’t take you seriously. However, when they see that you’re not joking, they’ll agree to your terms. Trust me – this person is ready to do whatever it takes to lure you back into their net.
Nevertheless, you should use this period to really cut them off and go back to your own life without having to deal with this sociopath ever again.
5. The art of bluffing
Here’s a great way to catch your narc in a lie: bluff. But you have to convince yourself that the things you’re saying really are true if you want this to work out.
Forget about getting tongue-twisted, avoiding eye contact, or getting sweaty palms. You have to look like you know exactly what you’re talking about.
Let’s imagine this scenario: you know that your narcissist is lying. But sadly, you have no solid proof for your claims.
How do you do it?
So if you confront them without anything to back up what you’re saying, you’ll lose before you even start. That’s why you have to perfect the art of bluffing and make them think that you’ve caught them in a lie.
It all depends on what they’re lying about.
You can always say that a mutual friend saw them doing something they shouldn’t have (make sure not to put the blame on anyone in particular; instead, tell them that you don’t want to reveal their identity and violate their trust).
You can say that you heard them talking on the phone about it or that you’ve been snooping through their phone and found evidence.
But here’s a pro tip: you don’t even have to know what the lie is about. It will be enough to tell them that you know exactly what they’re hiding (even though you have no clue) and that it would be better for them to spill it.
Their reaction will help you see what’s going on for real.
6. Narcissistic methods
Gaslighting, triangulation, silent treatment, stonewalling? I’m sure you’ve heard of each one of these tactics. To be exact, you’ve probably been subjected to all of them.
Well, now it’s time to turn the tables and use these tactics on your narc. Mirror your narcissist! Look, doing any of these things is not something you should be proud of.
And just because you use them on your narc doesn’t mean it’s okay to keep on using them in the outside world – unless you want to be just like them.
However, desperate times call for desperate measures. And this is one of those times.
So, the next time your narcissist lies to you, play with their mind a bit. You can choose between ignoring them, making them question their sanity, or making them jealous.
What’s important is that every time they try to deceive you, they see the consequence of their actions. Trust me, before you know it, they’ll understand what you’re doing, and they’ll learn their lesson.
7. Collect evidence in time
When you’re dealing with people who suffer from narcissism, you always have to be one step ahead of them. Of course, that is only possible from the moment you notice their red flags and accept that you’re dealing with a bad person.
If you’re trying to figure out how to trick a narcissist into telling the truth, you must begin acting before their next lie. When I say acting, I mean collecting evidence in time.
Yes, that includes snooping around on their phone and social media and even physically stalking them.
You have to be aware of one thing: narcissists lie, but they also cover up their lies amazingly. And they’re incredibly quick in doing so.
So, you have to collect evidence before confronting them because they’ll get rid of it as soon as you call them out on their actions.
Also, remain calm until you gather enough evidence. Start investigating the moment you begin suspecting they’re not telling the truth.
But don’t confront them right away because that will give them a better chance of getting away with their deceptions. Instead, let them think that they’re safe while you’re gathering more and more proof.
8. Lie back to them
Does your narc claim that lying isn’t such a big deal? How many times have you heard them saying that they did it to protect you or that they were white lies that don’t mean anything?
Well, how about giving them a taste of their own medicine? How about lying back to them when they least expect it?
Don’t worry about being too obvious about it. Your goal is to get caught eventually!
You want them to realize that you’re deceiving them without being able to do anything about it. They’ll probably confront you, and when that happens, just use the same manipulation tactics they do.
Stick to your version of the truth as if your life depends on it. They’re playing with your mental health, so why wouldn’t you do the same to them?
Of course, this doesn’t have to go on forever. You’ll just play along for a little while until they get the point and see how it really feels.
9. Never give up on the truth
This is something you should never forget when wondering how to trick a narcissist into telling the truth: you must never give up on the truth. And I really mean it!
If you’re a victim of narcissistic emotional abuse, you know exactly what I’m talking about. You two have been fighting for hours, and after a while, you’ve now had enough.
In the meantime, your narc has started calling you names, insulting you, and humiliating you in other ways. So, now, you just want to be done with all of it.
You know that they’re not telling the truth, but you’re ready to agree with anything they say just to make peace. They’ve sucked you dry, and you can’t take it anymore, so you end up being the one who apologizes.
In the end, you tell them that they’re not lying and that they’re absolutely right – you made a mistake. And that’s exactly what they were counting on.
They tried hard to ruin your self-esteem so you would end up feeling incapable of fighting them.
The moment you do this, you lose all of your credibility. In the future, every time you try to call a narc out on their lies, they’ll refer to this situation.
So, no matter what happens, always stick to the truth! If you think you can’t handle arguing with them, it’s better not to tackle the issue in the first place.
But if you open Pandora’s box, don’t close it until you get your way.
10. Always remain calm
Here’s one thing you should keep in mind when trying to figure out how to trick a narcissist into telling the truth: they’ll try to play on your nerves. The last thing this person wants is for you to stay calm.
Why? Well, because it’s easier to manipulate you if you get all worked up and lose your temper. Even better, this is also when they can accuse you of being insane and neurotic.
See how they win the argument? And it’s perfectly natural to lose your nerve when someone is clearly making a fool out of you.
Well, that is exactly what they count on. That is why you must give them the cold shoulder.
You must remain calm and stick to the point, no matter what. Don’t let them use reverse psychology on you, don’t let them play the victim, and don’t let them twist your words or spin the truth.
Your final goal here is to make a narcissist tell the truth. That’s what you should stick to.
Please, be mentally prepared before confronting them. Do whatever it takes to remain as calm as possible.
If you show them any sign of anxiety or nervousness, you’re done. They’ll use your weaknesses against you and defeat you in the blink of an eye.
11. Focus on your emotions
How many times have you heard the sentences such as: “It was nothing, you are overreacting,” “Those are just your insecurities talking,” or “You misinterpreted the entire situation.”
So what if you did? Does it make things any less painful? Absolutely not!
These lines are part of every narcissistic relationship. A narcissist is trying to devalue your emotions by telling you their side of the story.
First of all, that’s impossible because only one version of the truth exists. Nevertheless, even if you did overreact or misinterpret things, the fact is that you ended up hurt and heartbroken.
And that is exactly what you should focus on. No matter what the narc is telling you, don’t give up on the idea that their lies emotionally damaged you.
12. Make them emotionally dependent on you
Once again, you have to turn the tables. This person has made you emotionally dependent on them, and that’s why they keep on getting away with their lies. So, what does it take for your truth to be acknowledged?
Well, sadly, you have to do the same. You have to use their tactics to make them addicted to you. When that happens, they’ll be too scared to lie because that means potentially losing you.
Does this include harming their emotional and mental well-being in the long run? Yes. Does it include love bombing them and then breaking up with them out of the blue, just to get them back? Yes.
13. Don’t accept their apologies
How to trick a narcissist into telling the truth: Raise your standards and make them realize that telling the truth is mandatory.
This is how things should be in a healthy relationship without having to accentuate them, I know. But you’re dealing with a narcissistic psychopath here – don’t forget that. Therefore, they have to know that lying is not an option and that it’s one of your most important deal-breakers.
How can you show them that you’re serious? Well, the next time a narcissist apologizes and comes crawling back with fake promises of a better life, don’t forgive them, and don’t take them back.
Instead, give them a condition. They have to admit that they were lying; otherwise, you won’t forgive them.
Warn them that you already know the truth, but you just want to hear it from them. Once again, you’ll be bluffing.
14. A biased bystander
Narcissistic manipulation tactics can get to literally anyone, and you’re not immune to them either. Lying and gaslighting are almost always part of this emotional abuse.
But the biggest problem here is that, after a while, you start questioning your own sanity and doubting yourself. They brainwash you to the point where you’re not sure whether they’re really lying or you’re just imagining things.
That’s why it’s important to have someone you can trust – an unbiased bystander. No, I’m not saying that this person would be third-wheeling in your relationship.
It’s enough to have a close friend or family member who is objective enough to tell you the truth. Confide in this person, and they’ll become your own personal reality checker.
But I have to warn you: a narcissist is likely to claim that they’re telling the truth and continue with their mind games, even when there are witnesses involved. That is why you have to apply more than one strategy when figuring out how to trick a narcissist into telling the truth.
How do you know when a narcissist is lying?
A narcissist lies all the time and keeps everything hidden. So, basically, when you hear them talking, it means that they’re not telling the truth.
And I’m not even exaggerating when I say this. A narc’s entire life is a big lie. They lie to themselves and consequently lie to others, including you.
How do you trick a narcissist into doing what you want?
The best way to trick a narcissist is to not give them validation. Instead of making them feel important, ignore their feelings and act like they’re completely irrelevant to you.
How do you make a narcissist miserable?
Not falling into their trap is what makes every narcissist miserable. They will use manipulation techniques but won’t understand why their narcissistic abuse has no impact on you whatsoever.
What to say to disarm a narcissist
Here are some phrases that will help you shut down a narc:
1. “Let’s just agree to disagree.”
2. “That is your opinion, and I won’t argue against it, but I won’t accept it as my own either.”
3. “That is unacceptable behavior, and I won’t tolerate it.”
4. “You have no power or control over me.“
5. “Don’t try reversing the roles and playing the victim.”
See also: 6 Effective Comebacks To Use To Shut Down A Narcissist
To Wrap Up:
Now that you’ve learned how to trick a narcissist into telling the truth, it’s time to ask yourself if it’s really worth it. Okay, you’ll beat them, put them in their place, and you’ll prove a point, but won’t this entire process drag you even deeper into their mess?
Here’s the harsh truth: the best thing you can do is break the narcissist’s spell, ride off into the better life you deserve, and cut this person off for good!