Ever since you got into your narcissistic relationship, you were always the heartbroken one. Your abuser always found a way to discard you and leave you missing them and wanting them back.
But, can the tables be turned for a change? They definitely can – you can reverse the roles and pay them back for everything they’ve ever done.
But how do you do it? How do you make a narcissist miss you and regret leaving you? How do you put them in their place? Well, here are 9 bulletproof ways to make it happen!
How To Make A Narcissist Miss You In 9 Ways:
If you follow each one of these 9 steps, your narcissist will come crawling back to you in no time:
1. Get inside their mind
Let’s get one thing straight: you’re not dealing with a typical, normal person. You’re trying to play someone with a narcissistic personality disorder.
Am I telling you this because I think you’re not clever and capable enough to manipulate them into doing what you want? Absolutely not!
I just want you to be aware of one thing: their mindset is much different than yours. Narcs don’t have the same thought patterns as the rest of us.
That’s why, before you do anything, you have to enter their mind. Don’t worry, you won’t become just like them – this is only temporary.
Basically, you have to think the way they do. That’s the only way to trick them and win this war of the mind games.
Narcissistic supply
I hate to break it to you, but someone with NPD doesn’t see their victims as human beings. To them, you are nothing more than an object.
They don’t care about your emotions, nor do they give a damn about breaking your heart. They won’t give it a second thought when they’re about to hurt you.
To be exact, a true narcissist only sees you as a source of narcissistic supply.
What does this have to do with you wondering how to make a narcissist miss you? Well, you have to stop perceiving them as human beings as well.
Trust me – you won’t get far if you take their feelings into consideration during this process. This way, you will hurt them, and you won’t care about it while doing it!
2. Learn about their vulnerabilities
Just because narcissists are toxic people doesn’t mean they’re not humans. They’re pretty similar to normal people in one aspect: they have their share of weaknesses, just like the rest of us.
But the trick is that everyone with NPD is amazingly good at hiding their vulnerabilities. The last thing they want is to give their victims the power to destroy them.
However, this is where you have to outsmart them. You probably didn’t know this, but this process begins before the discard happens.
You have to learn all about your narc’s vulnerabilities while they’re still with you. Get them to open up to you and talk about their biggest fears, hopes, and dreams.
You see, there is a root to their narcissism that can usually be traced back to their childhood. This is the period in their life you should pay the most attention to.
Store all the information you get from them. I promise that you’ll need it.
That’s right, you’ll use each one of their secrets against them when the time is right.
3. Mirroring a narcissist
You can’t figure out how to make the narcissist miss you after discard without mirroring their behavior. Don’t worry, acting like them won’t destroy your mental health any more than the narcissistic abuse you’ve already been through has.
Just make sure you’re completely aware that this is an act at all times. You don’t possess narcissistic traits – you’re the victim here.
Basically, if you want to make your narcissist miserable, you have to treat them the same way they’ve treated you.
Love bombing
Let’s go back to the beginning of your narcissistic relationship. Even though we are talking about a new relationship, your partner started showering you with love right away.
They behaved as if you two had been together for ages and made sure you thought you were soulmates. At first, you were knocked off your feet because of this treatment. You were swept away by this idealization of your relationship.
However, little did you know that they were love bombing you all along. Basically, it was the beginning of their narcissistic abuse.
They were doing their best to make you emotionally dependent on a certain level of love, affection, and attention. And they succeeded in doing so.
Well, now you’ll do the same to them. Regardless of your narc’s behavior, treat them exactly how they want to be treated.
Imagine that this is the beginning of your relationship. Give them validation and trick them into feeling like you’re their new supply.
Devaluation
What comes after love bombing? That’s right, devaluation – this is what every victim going through narcissistic abuse recovery sadly knows.
All of a sudden, the narcissist withdraws. You’re no longer getting the affection or attention you got so addicted to.
And you’re ready to do whatever it takes just to get back to the old levels of emotional connection. Well, guess what, they are too.
Now is the time to deny your abuser the validation they are so dependent on. When a narcissist feels a lack of it, they will go crazy, and, most importantly, they will become even more dependent on you.
4. Be the one to break things off
You can’t figure out how to make a narcissist miss you if you don’t make them feel your absence, can you?
Don’t let them discard you. Instead, be the one to break things off after a few cycles of love bombing and devaluation.
However, don’t walk away from them in the middle of a fight. Don’t do it after they break your heart the thousandth time in a row.
If you do, you’re giving them back the power. Even though you are the one who left, you did it because of something they provoked.
This is the phase where you have to be the strongest. The key is to leave your narcissist miserable and to do it while they’re treating you the best.
You know exactly what I’m talking about. Everything seems to be going great, and there is no sign of their mental illness. Well, that’s when you leave them.
Trust me, this will leave them more confused than anything!
5. Go no contact
Now it’s time to give your abuser the silent treatment. Yes, that’s right, I’m telling you to go no contact and ignore them.
Block their number, block them all over social media, don’t call them, and don’t text them. If it’s necessary, stop talking to your mutual friends.
Change your habits and do your best to avoid running into them. Don’t worry, this no contact phase won’t last forever because they will reach out to you soon enough.
What is crucial here is to be as strong as possible. You’ll ruin everything if you give up in the middle of the process and be the one to initiate contact.
If this happens, your narcissist won’t ever take you seriously again. If they see you were unable to move on and that you were more than eager to go back to your toxic relationship, they will gain even more power over you.
6. Ignore their attempts to return
The problem with figuring out how to make a narcissist miss you is that you start to miss them as well. So when they come crawling back, your first urge is to run into their arms and give your relationship a second chance.
You can expect dozens of missed calls and text messages, DMs all over your social media profiles, or even huge romantic gestures, all from this one person and all with one goal: to get you back. Ignore all of them!
Eventually, you’ll take them back. Just please, don’t do it right away. The more they beg for your love and attention, the more they’ll miss you.
Don’t worry, they won’t give up or get tired of this. You have all the time in the world to play with them!
Why do they want you back?
I hate to burst your bubble, but your abuser isn’t trying to come back into your life because they’ve realized their mistakes. This is all part of their manipulation cycle, and this stage is called hoovering: a series of tactics they use to get you back.
They likely haven’t targeted a new supply and a new relationship that might please their needs. Great, this was exactly what you were counting on.
7. Destroy their ego
In the meantime, put all your effort into destroying their self-esteem and crushing their ego. I don’t care how you do it, but it has to be done.
Remember all those weaknesses you were searching for? Remember how you learned about their vulnerabilities?
Well, now is when you make your narcissist regret ever telling you any of these things.
Will you badmouth them in front of everyone? Will you deliberately humiliate them and make fun of their attempts to get you back? Will you insult them where it hurts the most?
The choice is all yours. The bottom line is that they must be deprived of the precious validation they need so much.
You might think that this kind of treatment will chase them away. Well, it probably would if you hadn’t done all the necessary preparation beforehand.
In this case, it will only draw your narcissist even closer to you.
8. Nostalgia is your friend
One thing is clear: you are able to see the good sides of your toxic relationship due to your trauma bond. Everything beautiful you and your partner shared was fake, and it’s crucial that you’re aware of this.
However, your narc doesn’t know this. After all, they weren’t the ones to experience manipulation, gaslighting, and abuse, so from their point of view, your relationship is worthy of idealization.
That is exactly why you should use nostalgia as your biggest ally. Keep in mind that your narc has hit rock bottom. They’ve lost their sense of self, and their self-esteem is non-existent.
The only thing that might help them get up is a source of narcissistic supply.
So, remind them of the “good” times. Play the sentimental card and make them remember the history you two have together.
You can talk to them about these moments or just randomly post a photo from that period on social media – the choice is yours.
9. Self-improvement
But what should you be doing in the meantime? Should you spend all of your time trying to figure out how to make a narcissist miss you?
Most certainly not! Instead of patiently waiting for them to come back, use this time for some self-improvement.
Do it for yourself!
First and foremost, you should do it for yourself. You can’t even start the narcissistic abuse recovery process without finding your old self because trust me, your relationship changed you in more ways than one.
Basically, you have to work on yourself. If it’s easier, begin working on your physical looks. Hit the gym, get yourself some new clothes, and change your make-up style.
However, it’s more beneficial to gather the strength to work on your spiritual self.
Most importantly, rebuild the relationship you have with the most important person in your life – yourself. Work on learning how to love yourself all over again, and as soon as you accomplish that, you’ll love your abuser less.
But at the end of the day, do it to emotionally hurt your narcissist as well. Trust me – they hate to see you happy!
Can A Narcissist Genuinely Miss You?
Sadly, a narc will never miss YOU. But they can miss the validation and attention you gave them. Simply put, they miss their narcissistic supply – not you as a person.
Does A Narcissist Miss You After No Contact?
When the no contact period is over, a narcissist will miss how you made them feel if they don’t manage to find a new supply. They will probably behave as if they missed you, but they’re incapable of feeling that sensation the way normal people do.
How Do You Make A Narcissist Want You Back?
To make a narcissist want you back, you have to play with their mind the same way they used to play with yours. The key is in dragging them into a cycle: love bombing, devaluation, discarding, and hoovering.
To put it simply, you have to give them validation and attention. Then, you have to crush their ego and destroy their self-esteem.
After that, when you’re sure you’ve succeeded in making them emotionally dependent, it’s time to discard them. However, you won’t leave them alone even then.
To Wrap Up:
You wanted to learn how to make a narcissist miss you, and I’ve taught you all the necessary steps to make this happen. However, I have to warn you: this entire process will only drag you deeper into this cycle of abuse and manipulation.
Yes, you’re playing with them, but you’re also playing with your own heart and mind at the same time. So please be careful while you’re going through this 9-step program.