Wondering how to keep a guy interested and keep him from running off on you in the blink of an eye? Well, you’re in the right place!
First, let’s figure out what it really takes to keep a man by your side once you’ve managed to bag him.
If your intention is to engage in a healthy, meaningful relationship with this individual, there are some ground rules for what it takes to accomplish that in the long-term game.
For starters, every stable, committed relationship has to have common ground.
You cannot be a spur-of-the-moment kind of gal who doesn’t want to settle down, who lives her life on the tip of her toes, and expect the guy who wants commitment and stability to change completely and mold himself after your needs.
That’s a bit selfish, so it’s important to know how to find a compromise that will suit you both and still keep him interested in the long run.
Both of you need to have similar outlooks on life. It’s imperative that you can agree on those important aspects of life if you intend to pursue this further.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve engaged in these temporary flings that I desperately hoped would turn into something serious, but more often than not, it all fizzled out within a few weeks.
At first, I’d be bummed and quite frankly – a bit shocked, as I really never felt I gave out the wrong vibes or that I was too clingy. I was always sure to be just the perfect balance of interested but not overly eager.
I wanted to keep the guy interested for as long as possible, but what I didn’t realize was that some relationships are just not meant to be.
That was a tough pill to swallow, but now, I have a more grounded approach to these things.
See, you need to be sure that this guy has a place in your future. There has to be some substance, something more meaningful than just sex and physical attraction, on which your potential relationship will be based.
Many times I’ve confused lust with love, and it would always come back to bite me in the ass. So just be sure that you’re trying to keep the right guy, and you’re ready to move forward.
The last thing you’d want is to go to all this trouble to keep him around, only to later realize that he was never meant to stay.
Sometimes, in order to keep a guy interested, we tend to do things for them that they don’t really deserve… Never do anything out of your comfort zone for a guy who is merely a temporary presence in your life.
But, when you’re sure he’s somebody you can see a joint future with and that he potentially feels the same way, there are certain things that can help you keep him around!
Just don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Sometimes, these things just don’t work out, and it’s nobody fault. So even if this doesn’t do much for this guy, it doesn’t mean you did anything wrong. All it means is that this guy wasn’t meant to stay in your life.
At least you’ll always know you did your best, and that’s all you can really do.
Now let’s get to business!
Want to know how to make yourself desirable to him and how to make him emotionally attached to you without being desperate? Here are 12 effective and low-effort ways to get him hooked on you!
1. Be spontaneous
One of the first things you need to do when you are trying to keep a guy interested after sleeping with him for the first time is to be spontaneous.
It means that you shouldn’t turn into a drama queen the second you sleep with him.
Instead, keep a relaxed mind and act casual, the same way you acted before this sexual intercourse took place because this is the only thing that will give you both a great time.
I am not saying you shouldn’t think things through and that you should just go with the flow but if you get too tense, this guy will feel it and it will just make things complicated.
Of course, sex is a big deal for you and it’s OK for you to make this clear but don’t burden yourself and turn into a different person the second you sleep with a guy.
Don’t plan your every move and don’t show him that the only thing on your mind is what happens next. Instead, act relaxed and casual and that will only make him want you more.
Some guys tend to chicken out the moment they feel us getting closer and expecting more, even if they want the same things! Weird, I know!
Give him time to realize that he most probably wants the same things as you, and don’t cling too much (but stay close).
Show him your effortless side, but at the same time, show him you care. Let him initiate the next encounter. That will give him a sense of control which will help him admit to his potential feelings for you.
2. Take initiative and be innovative
Sadly, many women like to be passive in bed, especially in the beginning. You are probably still not completely relaxed in front of this guy and you can’t step on the brakes.
You are scared to take the initiative and you let him do most of the work. But that is exactly what you shouldn’t be doing if you want to keep him interested after sleeping with you.
What you may not know is that the most attractive thing in any woman is her confidence and by taking initiative, you are showing him that you are a highly confident, strong and independent kind of woman.
It shows him that you know who you are and what you want and that you are not afraid to get it. Taking control in the bedroom is a huge turn-on for any guy.
Besides, it is empowering and it will make you feel better about yourself and he will see it, too. Remember that men are not mind readers and that they also need a little push from time to time.
So, don’t be afraid to let your guy know when you are in the mood to have sex and don’t be afraid to make the first move nor to tell him what your preferences in bed are.
Trust me, it will surprise him and it will make him want you even more. Also, don’t be afraid to suggest some new ideas in the bedroom.
This way the guy you are sleeping with will see that you are open-minded and he won’t be scared of telling you his deep secrets and desires.
He will start looking at your sex life as something exciting and unpredictable and this is exactly what you want to accomplish.
3. Don’t be insecure
When you look at yourself in the mirror, you don’t see the perfect body. You see many imperfections, and you are self-aware of your flaws.
Although this may sometimes be a good thing because it can help you work on your looks, you need to forget about it when it comes to the bedroom.
Forget the idea that you need to have a perfect body to turn a man on because that couldn’t be further from the truth. Stop comparing yourself to top models and porn stars, and remember that your man is not looking for your flaws unless you are doing the same.
Instead of focusing on your imperfections, focus on your womanly attributes and the things that you can use to turn him on.
You need to learn how to perceive yourself as a sexual being. You need to start considering yourself sexy and hot, and your partner will follow. Once you learn to embrace your sexuality, he will see the confidence in you and trust me—he won’t notice any of your flaws.
That’s the thing with us women. When it comes to our looks and our bodies, we are our own worst critics! The guy could literally be head over heels with you and every part of your sensual body, and you’d still be beyond self-conscious.
The moment you learn to accept the way you look and finally realize that your man does not see your imperfections, but rather a woman he cares about, one who attracts him beyond measure, you’ll feel a million times more sexy and confident!
4. Tease him
If you ask yourself how to keep a guy interested after sleeping with him, the first thing you need to know is that your sex life doesn’t start and end in the bedroom.
Instead, your entire day can be preparation for what will happen at night, even if the two of you spend it separately.
This way, you are increasing your man’s level of curiosity, interest, and intrigue. What could possibly be better than that?
Make sure you always seduce him, and learn how to build sexual tension between the two of you. It means that you should try to get your man horny just by teasing him.
You can start by sending him dirty texts in which you graphically describe everything you would like to do to him. It’s OK to talk dirty, and you shouldn’t be ashamed of doing so because trust me—it will pay off.
One of the best ways to tease him is to send him dirty texts or sexy pictures while he is in the middle of his workday.
This way, you’ll make sure he spends the rest of his day thinking of you because he’ll see how exciting you are, and he won’t be able to wait to get his hands on you.
One of the ways to keep the spark alive is to flirt with your guy, even when you are in a public place.
Make sure to play with his imagination, but never reveal too much.
When you two are in a public place, you can bite your lower lip, dance for him or look at him provocatively, deep in the eyes.
Besides building sexual tension, this will also help you deepen the connection between you two because it will make you feel like you are partners in crime.
5. Don’t be too clingy
One of the worst things that you could do if you want to keep a guy interested after having sex with him is to be extremely clingy.
I know that you’re probably head over heels for this guy after you’ve slept together, and the only thing on your mind is how to do it again and how to keep him by your side.
You think that this is the man you could really fall in love with, and you are trying to find ways to keep him in your life. You are scared that he considers this just a one-night stand or a meaningless fling, and you don’t know what to do to change his views.
So you decide to keep close to this guy and to stay in his life one way or another.
You think that the best way to do this is to call him, send him texts messages all the time, and to initiate another date because that will prevent him from forgetting about you.
But let me tell you that this is exactly what you shouldn’t be doing because it can only be counterproductive, and it won’t make him want to spend time with you.
For you, sex is an intimate act, and you simply have bonded with this guy, without having any intention of doing so.
And there is nothing wrong with that. You just have to make sure not to get too clingy because nobody likes that. If a guy starts to feel like you are suffocating him, it will just make him run away from you. You’ll be perceived as boring and insecure, and that is the last thing you want.
Guys can be real commitment-phobes, so the last thing you want to do is to get too serious too soon.
For sure keep him close and give him a reason to think you’re still very much interested, just give him some breathing room while doing so, and don’t put too much pressure too soon.
It’s totally understandable to develop feelings, especially after having sex with him, just don’t let it all out on the surface immediately. Baby steps.
6. Don’t expect too much of him just because you had sex with him
When you first sleep with a guy, it is possible that you’ll consider this act to be more important than him. It is a well-known fact that men and women tend to look at sex differently.
Sometimes, sex is just a physical activity for men while women think of it as something with a deeper meaning and as a part of their love lives.
But you need to understand that you sleeping with this guy was something you also wanted and that it wasn’t some favor you did for him. Instead, you both wanted it, and you both enjoyed it.
Therefore, you shouldn’t think that he used you when he slept with you, and you shouldn’t act like he owes you anything just because you had sex with him.
So the best thing you could do if you have slept with this guy is to lower your expectations.
Firstly, it will show him that you are casual about everything that has happened, and it will make him want you more.
Besides, it is one of the best things you could do for yourself, as well. This way, you won’t get too disappointed if this thing that is going on between the two of you doesn’t become anything more.
Look at it this way. You are sparing your emotions above anything else. I know it felt good, and I know you most likely want to spend as much time with him as possible, but take your time with this one.
If it’s meant to be something more, with time, it will be.
7. Don’t pressure him
If you think about keeping a guy interested after you’ve slept with him, the last thing you want to do is pressure him.
I know you probably want to know where you stand with him, and you would like to label things in good time, before you get emotionally attached, and before it becomes too late for you to walk away.
You want to have ‘the talk’ in which both of you would reveal your expectations. “We had sex, now what? Does he want a one-night stand? Does he want to be friends with benefits? Or does he hope that this will turn into a real relationship? How can I make sure he falls in love with me?”
These are all the questions that are going through your head because you know very well what it is that you want.
It is completely understandable that you don’t want anyone leading you on and that you want to know how things are from the start, but it is important not to pressure him into giving you all the answers from the beginning.
It is possible that he is still not sure about his feelings and intentions and that he needs time to make up his mind. This does not mean he won’t get there eventually. It just means he needs to figure it out for himself.
The last thing you want to do is chase this guy away, and this is exactly what you’ll accomplish if you make him feel pressured about deciding everything right now.
If you demand that he label things in the beginning, you will just scare him off and you will be left hanging. Patience is your best friend here. Let things develop at an appropriate pace, and you’ll be grateful in the long run.
8. Excite his mind
If you ask yourself how to keep a guy interested after getting his attention, you need to know that you shouldn’t concentrate on exciting him only sexually.
Instead, you should also excite his mind, and ensure he has a good time with you even outside the bedroom. You need to fuck his mind before fucking his body and that will get him hooked on you.
Remember that your brain has a lot of power, and if you use it properly, it can become your biggest sex organ.
Most women are scared that their sexual partners will only perceive them as sexual objects and don’t know how to show them their other qualities. Therefore, you need to show this guy that you are a complete person and not just an object of his physical desire.
You need to show him that you are intelligent and interesting and that you have a lot to offer, besides your bedroom skills.
Also, make sure you don’t only think with your body—always include your mind in the process. Make this guy see you as a friend and as the respected individual you are.
Share your thoughts and ideas about life with him, and seduce him with words. This way, you will blow his mind. He will fall for you completely, and this is exactly what you want and need.
Make him fall in love with your brains, and the rest will follow.
9. Show him that he’s worthy
Although many men like to be perceived as tough and emotionless, the truth is usually way different. Most men have fragile egos and are self-aware of their imperfections and flaws. They are especially vulnerable when they have just started a sexual relationship with someone new.
They are worried if they’ve doneda good job and if they’ve managed to please you. So if you want to keep a man interested after you’ve slept with him, make sure to boost his ego.
This means that you should praise his sexual skills, and let him know that he pleased you properly.
Of course, this doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be open about the things you didn’t like or that you shouldn’t tell him what he needs to change. But even when you are doing this, make sure you do it gently.
One of the ways to keep him hooked is to tell him some white lies.
You can start by telling him that he is the best man you’ve ever had or telling him that he turns you on like nobody has before him.
This will help him with his insecurities, and it will help him feel better about himself when he is around you. A little nudge will go a long way.
You should never diminish his masculinity, and you should always let him feel that he is man enough for you. Also, show him that he is worthy of your time and efforts even outside the bedroom.
A little boost to his ego will do wonders for his self-confidence and ultimately, on how he’ll continue to make you happy in all the important departments.
10. Stay sexy and mysterious
One of the most important things to do when you want to keep a guy interested is to always stay sexy and mysterious.
It means that you should always try to look your best for him, without him noticing that you’ve put much effort into your appearance. Show him your best side, and focus on your attributes.
One of the ways to do it is to have some sexy, but not tacky, lingerie whenever you two are in the bedroom.
It is also important to be attractive to him on a daily basis, even outside the bedroom. Make sure you are always dressed your best, without revealing too much.
This will help you stay mysterious a little bit, without putting all your cards on the table, and it will make him wonder what is underneath your clothes.
It is important that you don’t give off the impression that you are trying too hard to be perfect, so make sure to show your body off without being too flashy or vulgar.
When you are around him, always wear the same perfume. It will make him remember your scent, and it will be something that will always remind you of him.
It is important for you to always smell good around this guy, but it is also important that you don’t exaggerate with an aggressive fragrance.
Always smile for this guy, and flirt with him on every occasion. Touch him unexpectedly and casually, but don’t throw yourself at him. This way, you will make him want more from you on every occasion.
11. Let him chase you
Men are hunters. It is in their natures, and it is the only truth—no matter what anyone tells you.
So if you really want to keep a guy interested, make him come after you. Don’t be afraid to play hot and cold mind games with him or to ignore him from time to time.
It doesn’t mean you should be rude or emotionless; it only means you shouldn’t give your entire self from the start. Keep a little air of mystery around yourself.
Show him that you have boundaries and make him chase you if he wants to have you completely. But make sure you don’t exaggerate while doing so because it could make him lose all interest.
Just let him be the one to call you and to initiate most of the contact in the beginning. Show him that you are worthy of his efforts and that he won’t get everything from you easily. It is a sure way to get him emotionally attached.
Show him you want him to pursue you, and he’ll double his efforts. Men like to feel wanted and needed, and I’m sure you don’t mind showing him just how to get you.
12. Be yourself
When we fall for someone new, our first impulse is to do whatever it takes to make this person like us more, and that is completely natural.
But you shouldn’t change yourself for anyone, let alone for a guy you’ve just slept with. Whenever you are starting a new relationship, you need to make sure to keep your integrity and to keep your personality intact.
I know you want this guy to like you, but you can’t be too desperate, and you can’t show him that. Instead, the best way to attract someone is to be yourself. I know this is a phrase you’ve probably heard a thousand times, but it really is the truth. If you decide to pretend you are someone you are not, trust me—he will feel it, and he will see it as a chance to manipulate you.
Besides, by changing yourself, you are only showing him your insecurities and lack of confidence, and that is never attractive. Remember that being your authentic self is always better than pretending to be someone else.
Show him that you know who you are, what you want, and that you are not ready to change your ways and your attitudes for him or for anyone else. This will make him respect you and want you even more.