Here’s a news flash: separation can actually do a marriage some good. Instead of leading you to divorce, it could be just the thing your relationship needed all along.
Sometimes, couples use this time to rethink their entire marriage. Sometimes, their spouse’s absence makes them realize how important their presence is.
But how can you know if you and your partner are one of these couples? What are the clues that this is only temporary and that reconciliation is near? What are some positive signs during separation from your spouse?
Well, I guess you’ll never find out unless you read on.
Positive Signs During Separation
If you experience all, or at least most, of these signs, your spouse likely wants you back! And let’s be real – you feel the same way.
1. Forgiveness is an option.
One thing is for sure: bitterness won’t get you anywhere. If you and your ex still hold grudges for the things that happened in the past, reconciliation is definitely not an option.
However, if you think that you could forgive them (and the feeling is mutual), it’s a clear sign that you’re headed in the right direction.
Don’t get me wrong – this is not me forcing you to forgive your significant other for everything that went on in the past. It’s perfectly fine if you can’t forgive them if they hurt you badly.
Nevertheless, if you both see forgiveness as an option or, even better, if you’ve already managed to forgive each other, it’s one of the most positive signs during separation.
But I have to warn you: if you forgive, it would be best to forget as well. There is no point in accepting your spouse’s apology and then going back to the thing you should have left behind every time you get the chance to.
2. Communication is still alive.
The ignoring period is over. You two are back to talking to each other.
Maybe you’re still not tackling deep topics like the ones concerning your marriage and potential reconciliation, but you’re getting there, though.
The important thing is that communication between you is still alive. Or, to be exact, it came back from the dead.
Maybe you and your ex-husband or wife exchange a text message every now and then, maybe you like each other’s social media posts, or perhaps you’ve finally started answering their phone calls. Either way, each of these baby steps matters.
You should be worried if you and your spouse don’t even say “hi” when you accidentally run into each other. This is one of the negative signs during separation, and it means that you’ve become enemies or, even worse, strangers.
It doesn’t matter if you’re engaging in random small talk, discussing the weather, or important topics – what matters is that you’re communicating in any way. Either way, one thing is for sure: you’re on the right track.
3. Understanding your mistakes.
Here’s something that might burst your bubble: it takes two to tango. Yes, you understood me right. Both partners carry some responsibility for the way things went down in your marriage.
I’m not saying this is always true, especially if we’re talking about abuse or something similar. But in that case, I hope you’re not looking for positive signs during separation anyhow.
If you don’t understand that you’ve both made mistakes that brought you to your break-up, you still have a long way to go. You can’t claim that you did nothing wrong!
On the other hand, if you’ve reached a stage where you’re aware of your wrongdoings, that is a good sign you’re mature enough to at least talk about reconciliation. Of course, this must go both ways.
Not only that. You and your ex-husband or wife are ready to apologize for everything that happened in the past. You’ve realized that saving your marriage is more important than your pride.
It looks like this period of separation helped you see things more clearly!
4. Nostalgia hits you hard.
When your spouse first moved out, you were kind of relieved that everything was finally over. However, now, when it’s time to think about your legal separation, you’ve changed your mind.
It appears that not everything was so awful in the first place. You ask yourself, “Was my ex really that bad?”
After all, you fell in love with them for a reason. And all those reasons are flooding back to you.
You can’t help but remember the good old days. All the memories and everything you two built together are overwhelming you. All of a sudden, it’s like you’ve forgotten why you two separated in the first place.
All you want to do is ask your spouse to come back. You want to continue where you left off as if nothing happened.
Look, I’ll be honest with you. Nostalgia can be tricky. It can trick your mind into seeing things better than they actually were.
However, in your case, it’s one of the positive signs during separation, especially if your wife or husband wants to go back to the past as well.
5. Anger is part of the past.
There is nothing worse than anger. It blinds you to the point where, as much as you try, you can’t see things clearly.
You forget how much you love this person standing next to you, and you’re overwhelmed with hatred and other negative emotions.
This is something all married couples face.
But anger comes and goes. Sooner or later, it fades away, and you understand that you both overreacted.
Well, if you’ve finally calmed down, it’s a sign of progress. Now you can talk like two adults without saying hurtful things to each other, calling each other names, or throwing unnecessary insults.
At the end of the day, you’re both sad about the way things went down. You’re no longer blinded by anger, and you don’t only blame the other person for this entire mess.
6. The ability to identify the core problems.
Here’s a piece of relationship advice: you can never fix your problems unless you identify them in the first place. I feel like this should be common sense, but sadly, a lot of married couples skip this initial step and make up like nothing ever happened.
Therefore, if you and your spouse are finally capable of talking things through like adults and, most importantly, figuring out what brought you here, it’s one of the most positive signs during separation.
I’m not talking about bouncing the ball of responsibility from one to the other. Getting to the heart of the problem means analyzing your relationship and tracing it back to the beginning of your issues.
It means being completely honest with yourself and each other and verbalizing everything that’s bothering you. It means curing the cause before trying to fix the symptoms and the consequences.
As easy as this might appear, it’s actually one of the most difficult steps. However, you can’t even think of getting your ex back without it!
7. The chemistry is alive.
Sometimes, it feels like you and your ex have just started dating. There is still no real physical intimacy, but whenever you two meet, you can cut the tension with a knife. And I’m talking about a good kind of tension here.
Yes, that’s right, it’s pretty clear that the chemistry is very much alive. Of course, it’s not something to build a marriage on, but you can’t succeed without it either.
When you meet, it’s like you’re seeing each other for the first time. All the body language and signs of physical attraction are there.
First and foremost, you can’t keep your eyes off each other. Neither of you looks away, and it’s clear you both enjoy prolonged eye contact.
Of course, let’s not forget the “accidental” physical contact, like touching each other’s hands or hugging more than necessary. The butterflies have made a huge comeback in your tummies!
You two are flirting like newlyweds, and you both like it – as you should!
8. You’ve remained best friends.
Is it possible to stay friends with an ex, especially if we’re talking about an ex-marital partner? Well, if you’ve managed to do it, it’s one of the positive signs during separation.
They’re still “your person” – the first one you call when you are in an emergency and the first person you share all of your good news with. Whether you like to admit it or not, it’s more than clear that you two have remained family even though your marriage is now shaky.
You’re worried about their well-being, and in return, they take care of you as well. Don’t get me wrong. You don’t do it because you have to – you both want to stay in each other’s lives one way or another.
You’re dealing with some issues; otherwise, you wouldn’t be here right now. However, if you’re best friends after everything that has happened, there is a good chance of getting back together.
9. There’s nobody else involved.
You two don’t talk much about your new love lives. However, you both know that there are no third parties involved. Your ex isn’t dating anyone new, and neither are you.
Your mutual friends assure you that you’re both single, there is no trace of them having a new relationship on social media, and you’ve never seen them with anyone else.
It’s pretty obvious that neither of you is ready to get back into the dating pool. You’re both secretly hoping to get back together!
This is especially true for all of you husbands out there. If you’re asking yourself: “What are the signs my separated wife wants to reconcile?” this is it!
Trust me, if this woman was seeing someone else, she wouldn’t hide it. On the contrary, believe me when I tell you that the whole world would know about her new partner!
10. Divorce is not the only option.
Good news! You’ve reached a point where you see a way out. When you two first separated, you’d made up your mind. You were certain you’d proceed with legal separation as soon as possible because you thought your marriage was over.
However, now, as time went by and as you’ve managed to cool down, you realize that divorce is not the only possibility. I’m not saying that you’ve given up on the idea altogether, but you’re definitely thinking about all of your options.
All of a sudden, getting your ex back seems alright. You still haven’t given them a second chance, but you’re definitely thinking about it.
You think about the way your marriage would look now and about all the changes you’d both have to make for things to work out.
And the best part is that you’re not the only one. It looks like they’ve stopped mentioning the word divorce too.
11. Professional help.
A lot of married couples don’t see a way out of the rut they’ve fallen into. As hard as they try, they can’t seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel.
But just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Maybe you just need an outsider to show you the path to salvation.
No, I’m not talking about family members or mutual friends. Even though I’m sure all of these people wish you the best, don’t take relationship advice from someone who doesn’t know what they’re talking about.
Instead, you need professional guidance. Yes, that’s right, I’m talking about marriage counseling.
Well, truth be told, you probably should have tried couples counseling before the period of separation, but hey, better late than never.
A certified counselor will help you find middle ground. They will point out your mistakes and teach you how to save your marriage that’s falling apart.
Well, one of the positive signs during separation is that you are both willing to give it a try. It means you’re both willing to fix this sinking ship.
Don’t worry, this is not a sign of weakness. Instead, it’s a sign of maturity!
12. Nobody can influence you.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not here to badmouth your family members, best friends, or coworkers. But let’s be honest, narcissistic in-laws can have a huge impact on your marriage.
The same goes for your friends. Even though they mean well, sometimes their advice can be counterproductive and cause more harm than good.
Nobody should interfere with your marriage, let alone make decisions on your behalf. Luckily, you and your partner have finally come to terms with this, and you wouldn’t think of choosing your family over each other.
Maybe you’ve learned how to set healthy boundaries with your mother-in-law. Or you’ve stopped talking about every little thing in your relationship with your entire friend group.
Either way, you’ve reached a stage where nobody can influence you any longer. The only things that guide you are your opinions and feelings.
You don’t give a damn about what others might think. At the end of the day, they won’t be living with your spouse, so your relationship is none of their business.
13. The separation is a lesson.
You know what the best part of going through a separation with your spouse is? I know what you must be thinking right now: “There is absolutely nothing good about it!”
Well, there really isn’t if you don’t use it the right way. And if you’re smart, you’ll use it to become a better man or woman.
Yes, you heard me right. I’m not talking about working on your husband or wife skills here. I’m talking about some serious self-improvement.
If you used this period to make yourself happy, I assure you that you’ll manage to make your spouse happier in the future.
Don’t worry, if your partner is focusing on themself, it doesn’t mean that they’ve moved on. Maybe they’re just working on becoming a better person for themself and, later on, for you.
14. You still love each other.
Finally, one of the most positive signs during separation is love. But first, let’s be clear about one thing: love alone is not enough for you to rebuild your marriage.
You and your spouse broke up for a reason. Things were far from perfect, and you weren’t happily married. Otherwise, you’d still be together.
However, you can have all the signs from above, but if there’s no love, everything is in vain. It’s crucial for your partner to still be in love with you and vice versa if you’re thinking about getting back together.
No, this doesn’t have to be a butterflies in the tummy kind of love. There doesn’t have to be fireworks involved.
After all, you’ve spent a long time together, and this love should have grown into something more peaceful. Nevertheless, it should also be much stronger than in the beginning.
How do you tell if your wife still loves you after separation?
If your wife respects you, takes care of your well-being, doesn’t date anyone new, still hangs out with your family members and mutual friends, and no longer talks about divorce, she still loves you.
Don’t wait for her to admit her feelings or tell you she misses you – these clues are more than enough for you to try and get her back!
If you’re wondering, “What are the signs my separated wife wants to reconcile?” you’ve just read them! She may still be angry about some things you did, but trust me, the love she has for you is still there!
See also: 8 Examples Of The Average Length Of Separation Before Reconciliation
What are the stages of separation?
The stages of separation are:
1. Denial and shock
2. Anger
3. Self-blame
4. Fear
5. Grief
6. Re-invention
7. Embrace
Each stage has its purpose and is a huge part of the healing process. It doesn’t matter if you get back together with your ex or proceed towards legal separation – you have to go through each one of them!
What should you not do during separation?
One of the worst things to do during separation is to jump into a rebound relationship. Besides that, you should never badmouth your spouse, and you shouldn’t allow others to influence you.
Rebound relationships
First and foremost, getting into a new relationship too soon won’t do either party any good. I know you’re probably doing it to hurt your spouse and to make them jealous, but that’s not a healthy way to separate.
Trust me, you’ll only end up hurting yourself in the process. And let’s not forget that you’re likely to break an innocent person’s heart who didn’t sign up to be dragged into your mess.
Badmouthing each other
Talking trash about your partner and disclosing private details about your relationship to the world is as low as you can go. When you badmouth them, you badmouth yourself as well.
Don’t forget that you’ve spent so much time with this person. If they were so bad, what were you doing with them all along?
Foreign impact
The same goes for allowing others to impact you. You’re an adult, and you and your marital partner are the only ones allowed to make decisions regarding your marriage.
Going to marriage counseling is one thing, but taking unwanted advice from your neighbors, coworkers, and everybody else is immature and wrong!
To Wrap Up:
Now that you’ve checked out all of these positive signs during separation, it’s time to move forward with reconciliation. You and your spouse are headed in the right direction, but this doesn’t mean that your job is done.
I’m sure you still have a long way to go. But the good news is that you have something to hold on to – it’s obvious that you both want to get back together.
So, join forces and work on saving your marriage! Thumbs up!
