He’s with you 24/7, but has he still not defined your relationship the right way? Or, maybe he’s coming to you only when it’s convenient for him and when he wants to have some fun?
I’m here to help you decode your man’s behavior and recognize the biggest signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you.
There is one thing you can be sure of. Your guy doesn’t honestly love you because if he does, there is nothing that could stop him from being with you. He would take your hand and scream to the world that you’re his love… His one and only love.
Actually, it’s either that or your man is a sneaky coward. And, that is really the worst type of coward. The one who can’t face their own fears but will use you as long as you allow it to them.
23 Warning Signs He Doesn’t Want A Relationship With You
I have to admit something to you… I was once you. I was dragged on by a man I was madly in love with for months. I noticed clear signs he wasn’t being serious with me, aka, red flags, but I chose to close my eyes to it.
I know I could have avoided heartbreak, but I didn’t. Some of you may say that it was my mistake, but I say that love can never be a mistake. I see it as a huge lesson that really helped me find a guy who actually deserves me and build a strong and healthy relationship with him.
I made this list of the most obvious signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you to help you and all the other girls who are in a similar situation.
And, if you recognize most of these patterns below, my relationship advice for you is to run away from that relationship like a bat out of hell. Run and save yourself.
There is no healthy communication
This is a big sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you. It’s a well-known fact, and every relationship expert will tell you that lack of communication can ruin even the strongest relationship.
How are you planning to spend your life with someone you can’t talk about everything with? You can’t form any kind of long-term relationship because it’ll fall apart after the first big fight you have.
See also: How To Communicate With Men: 16 Ways To Have Better Communication
You aren’t one of his top priorities
Or, is it better to say that you aren’t even a part of that list? If your man doesn’t make time to see or at least text you every day, that is a telltale sign he doesn’t want an exclusive relationship with you.
He’s only there when it’s convenient for him
When it’s convenient for him or when he wants a little midnight fun, he calls, texts, and even comes knocking at your door. And, he brings a box of condoms, of course.
That’s a bad sign that the only relationship your guy wants to have with you is the one with no strings attached.
He’s all mysterious and secretive
Is your man shrouded in mystery? Does he always keep his phone away from you? Or, even if he doesn’t really hide his phone or even lets you use it, have you noticed that his text messages, phone calls, and browsing history are always cleared?
Then, you have every right to doubt his intentions because he’s definitely hiding something from you. And, unfortunately, that ‘something’ is probably the reason why he can’t start a relationship with you.
He is a closed book
If your man has never opened up to you about his life and his past, it’s a sure sign that he doesn’t want to get attached to you.
He doesn’t want to get to know you on a deeper level because what you two have is only a fling for him. He’s obviously not planning to stick around for too long.
His words are empty
Little things mean the most when it comes to building a healthy relationship. For example, keeping your promises and proving the truth of your words with actions.
The truth is that we can’t lie or break the promises we have made to our loved one; to those people we truly and deeply love. We are aware that our lies might hurt them, and when you love someone deeply, you can never intentionally hurt them.
He can ignore you for days
Does he ignore your calls and text messages for hours or even days without a reason? If yes, that’s a huge red flag that he doesn’t care for you and that he doesn’t have the intention of forming a serious relationship with you. So, do yourself a favor and don’t text him.
He never asks you about your life
Just because he doesn’t want to include you into his life doesn’t mean that you don’t want to open the doors of your life to him. But, it’s simply impossible because he doesn’t care about being a part of it at all.
He never asks about your day, your past, your family, or your well-being in general… Am I right? Even when you try to talk to him about it, he doesn’t listen to you… it’s like you’re talking to a wall.
Well, it’s obvious that he doesn’t care for you, so why the hell would he be interested in dating you in the first place?
He disappears every now and then
Another telltale sign he doesn’t want a relationship with you is if your man disappears from time to time and doesn’t want to answer your calls and texts or he simply doesn’t want to say where he is.
It doesn’t have to mean that he’s seeing someone else, but there is definitely something odd about it. Maybe he needs some alone time, but he should communicate his needs because you have no ability to read other people’s minds.
He’s a pro at making excuses
Every time he cancels your date or the Netflix and chill night at the last minute, he has an excuse. You can’t even tell when he’s lying and when he’s not because he has become so good at it.
He avoids eye contact while you’re talking
If your man is avoiding eye contact while you’re talking, especially while you’re discussing your issues, it’s a big red flag he’s hiding something from you or lying about something.
He can’t look you in your eyes because he knows what he’s doing is wrong and he’s ashamed of it. He knows you don’t deserve to be hurt, but he’s still hurting you…
He is breadcrumbing you
He’s affectionate only when you get angry at him or when he does something wrong. Otherwise, you don’t even get a hug or a simple goodnight message.
Yes, this scenario is so familiar to me. And, trust me… it’s a clear sign he only wants to keep you around because he doesn’t want to be alone. As soon as another girl comes, he’ll stop even breadcrumbing you.
Relationship expert Tracey Cox explains it like this: “Breadcrumbing means he’s leading you on by feeding crumbs of affection that never lead to anything”.
Your feelings are the last thing he cares about
He doesn’t care if his behavior makes you sad or if his words hurt you… He doesn’t care about your feelings because he doesn’t care about you nor about what will happen with you two.
When a man is in love with you, he does everything to protect your feelings because when you’re sad, he’s sad, too. He can’t hurt you because that would mean he would be hurting himself, too.
His bad language becomes too abusive
In the beginning, you probably thought that he was just a ‘bad boy’ and that he won’t use those cuss words with you.
But, as time goes by, he starts swearing and cursing at you. And, I know… the worst thing is that it’s happening without a reason or if he’s drunk.
That kind of emotional and verbal abuse becomes a part of your ‘relationship’. It causes you emotional harm, and it makes you wonder whether his feelings for you are really as honest and deep as you think.
He’s picking fights for no reason
If he disagrees with you about everything and always finds a stupid reason to fight about it, it’s a very bad sign that his intentions with you aren’t serious at all.
He blocks you out of his social life
If your partner has never introduced you to any of his friends, and every time you ask them to meet them, he avoids talking about it, it’s a very clear sign he doesn’t want a serious relationship with you.
And, he isn’t interested in yours at all
I know you wanted to meet him with your besties because, of course, he has to get their approval to continue seeing you. And, I also suppose he didn’t want it, or somehow, he avoided that topic, too.
The only reason why he does this is that he wants to keep things between you private. And, if he’s hiding you from the rest of the world, then you aren’t in a relationship… you’re just having a casual affair.
He’s treating you as a friend in public
Okay, some guys hate PDA, and that’s fine. But, if your man doesn’t even want to introduce you as his girlfriend to others, or if he doesn’t want to take your hand while walking, it’s definitely a good sign that he doesn’t want to take your little ‘relationship’ to the next level.
He doesn’t want to post a photo of you on social media
He doesn’t want it and he doesn’t allow you to post it. Or, he removes the tag when you post it and doesn’t even like or comment on it.
This is a huge red flag that he doesn’t want others to find out you’re seeing each other. That is, he doesn’t find your relationship serious at all.
He never remembers any special date
In my opinion, when a man doesn’t remember your birthday, it’s a clear sign of how little he cares for you. Men know how important those special dates are to us women, and if they’re always forgetting them, it means they don’t care at all that our feelings are being hurt.
He cancels your plans
Is he canceling your plans too often and at the last minute? Well, think about it… What could be more important to him than you? What’s making him cancel on you so often, or is it better to say WHO’s making him?
Besides, he’s aware that him standing you up will hurt you and make you sad, but he still does it. What is it saying to you? Of course, that he isn’t in love with you and that he doesn’t care if his actions make you end things for good.
He’s avoiding the talk
I know this scenario… You keep trying to get him to talk about defining your relationship, but he keeps avoiding it. Maybe you have even tried to make an ultimatum… either you’ll break up and stop seeing each other or you’ll make your relationship official, but I’m assuming that didn’t work either, right?
Well then, things are pretty clear… He simply doesn’t want a relationship with you, but he wants to keep you around and use you just for sex.
You’re the only one who is making the effort
This is a pretty obvious sign that he doesn’t want a relationship with you. If he doesn’t make any effort for that to happen, he simply doesn’t want it to happen, and that’s it.
He’s perfectly okay with the way your relationship is right now, and he doesn’t want it to change.
Why Does He Keep Me Around If He Doesn’t Want A Relationship?
Most people would tell you that the answer to this question is pretty obvious… He’s keeping you around because of the fun you’re bringing to his sex life, but I say that we should try to be less judgemental and see things from different perspectives.
Of course, that could be one of the reasons, but there are definitely a few more possibilities. And, we’ll discover them all below.
He wants to keep his options open
To be honest, this is the most common reason why men don’t want to engage in a serious relationship. They aren’t ready to let go of their single life, and that’s why they like to keep their options open.
He probably likes you and he’s having fun with you, but he’s afraid that he might miss something better if he commits to you. Maybe he only needs a bit more time to understand that you’re the best option for him indeed.
He’s seeing someone else
Huh, this is an ugly one. He can’t start a relationship with you if he’s already dating another woman, right?
Maybe you’re just a side chick for him. He’s only using you to fulfill his sexual needs, and he doesn’t have any intention of building a real relationship with you… Ever.
Or, he has just got out of a serious relationship
If your man has just ended a serious, long-term relationship, then it’s pretty normal that he isn’t ready to jump into a new relationship straight away.
If this is your case, then you need to have more understanding and patience. Let him get rid of his past relationship baggage first and he’ll commit to you sooner than you think.
You haven’t triggered his hero instinct yet
At the end of the day, there’s only one truth we’re all aware of. Men and women aren’t the same and will never be, especially when it comes to their emotional needs.
Women need to feel loved, protected, respected, and appreciated. On the other hand, men need to feel that they’re the ones who provide all those things to the woman they love.
Treating your man the same as you treat your friends will never make him fall in love with you. You have to make him feel like he’s your everyday hero… Your biggest protector, your king.
If you aren’t sure how to do that, here is something that will surely help you: A Step-By-Step Guide On Triggering The Hero Instinct In Men.
Or, maybe he has commitment phobia
Another possible reason why he’s keeping you around might be his fear of commitment. That means your man is probably already in love with you, but he’s afraid to commit.
If you’re having doubts as to whether you’re dealing with a commitment phobe, I have something that might help you. Check out this article and find out if the fear of commitment is the real reason why he doesn’t want a relationship with you: 11 Signs You’re Dating A Commitment Phobe.
He doesn’t want you, but he also doesn’t want anyone else to have you
This is so typical of men. They don’t want to date because they want to keep their options open, but at the same time, they don’t want you to explore your options.
He’ll keep leading you on and dropping small morsels of interest because he doesn’t want you to go. It’s like that’s some kind of guy code rule; “I don’t want you, but no other man will have you either”.
Why Does He Keep Texting Me If He Doesn’t Want A Relationship?
I know this is the most confusing thing… He keeps texting you every day, but it seems like he’ll never invite you out on a date.
There are a few possible reasons why he does this. I mean he’s probably interested in you, but something is preventing him from taking the next step… Let’s find out what it is.
Maybe you’re dealing with a very shy guy
Yes, this could be the reason, and yes, there are still shy guys who simply don’t have the courage to invite the girl they like out.
He might be afraid of rejection, or maybe he thinks you aren’t into him. You should give him a more obvious signal that you like him, or maybe you can help him make the first move and invite you on a date.
He likes you, but not enough to date you
Or, maybe he isn’t into you the way you’re interested in him. Maybe he really likes you, likes to talk with you and all that, but not in the way he would like to date you.
If this is the reason, then he keeps texting you because he doesn’t want to lose you as a friend. He probably isn’t even aware of your feelings, and he thinks you consider him a friend, too.
You’re his emotional go-to person
You probably already made some kind of emotional connection. He trusts you and he’s able to open up to you about everything.
Every time something bad happens to him, someone betrays him or hurts him, you’re the first person he texts. That means you’re his emotional rescue shelter, and that’s the thing he doesn’t want to lose.
Maybe he thinks you don’t want a relationship either
This is one of the most probable reasons why your guy is still texting you. You didn’t give him an obvious hint you’re into him, and that’s the reason why he hasn’t made any moves yet.
Now, you shouldn’t admit your feelings to him right away, but you should definitely try to flirt more and let him know that you’re head over heels for him.
What Do You Do When He Says He Doesn’t Want A Relationship?
I know, it’s heartbreaking being rejected by the man you’ve truly fallen in love with from the very first moment you met him.
It hurts, it makes your heart break into a thousand pieces… But, the pain will pass, and your heart will gather all those pieces and glue them back together like it always does.
Besides hurt, I’m sure his rejection also left you confused. You’re wondering what to do now and how to deal with it all. Here are a few things you should do when your man admits that he doesn’t want to be in a committed relationship with you.
Stop hoping he’ll fall in love with you eventually…
To be completely honest, this may happen. If you keep trying to prove to him how much you truly love him, he might see those efforts and start falling in love with you.
But, wouldn’t it make you question your own worth? Wouldn’t that be unfair to yourself? To waste your precious time trying to prove yourself to someone who’s blind to see it himself?
Besides, love is really something that can’t be controlled or pressured. Either it happens or it doesn’t.
If he’s blind and doesn’t see your worth or how much you care for him, it’s his loss. You’ll find the right man; the one who’ll appreciate and respect you the way you deserve, but he may never find a girl who’ll love and appreciate him the way you did.
And, be the first one to walk away!
Okay, he may be the one who’ll end things when it comes to your ‘almost’ relationship, but you can be the one who’ll walk away first.
Let him watch your gorgeous back while you’re leaving his lame ass. Don’t give him the pleasure of seeing you heartbroken.
Don’t ever blame yourself
You had the intention to build a beautiful healthy relationship with him, and you put so much effort into making it happen. So, obviously, you are not the problem… he is.
Maybe he has a not-so-great past when it comes to his love life, but that is really not your problem. You gave everything to prove that your emotions are true and that you’re not planning to hurt him, and it’s his problem that he couldn’t believe you.
Look back at your ‘almost’ relationship…
Now, look back at everything you and your ‘almost partner’ had gone through. Does he even really deserve you?
The way he treated you, all the time he was leading you on, all the lies and broken promises… Does your sincere and pure heart really deserve to be given to such a guy?
Look at him as one of your life mistakes, and trust me, you’ll have more of those. One day, you’ll thank God for all of those mistakes, and you’ll realize that this ‘breakup’ was actually one of the best things that happened to you.
Remember, your Mr. Right is still somewhere out there
You have nothing to worry about because this is actually a good sign from the universe that it has someone else planned for you… That your soulmate is still waiting for you somewhere out there.
That man will be 3 in 1; your best friend, beloved partner, and most passionate lover ever. You won’t have to wonder if he wants you or not because he’ll surely both show it and say it.
He’ll be committed to you from day one, and he’ll never do anything that could make you doubt his feelings. He’ll show you what a real relationship and true love really look like.
Wrapping Up
I hope you didn’t recognize any of these signs that he doesn’t want a relationship with you, and that you aren’t feeling heartbroken right now. However, if you did, and if you do feel that way, then there is one thing you need to remember; he’s not the only man and he is definitely not the right one for you.
Let’s take a look at the white side of your current situation; you met an almost relationship and you know how it looks.
Now, you’re ready to meet a real relationship and be sure that it’ll come to you at the right moment, maybe even sooner than you think.
And, this guy will be sorry one day for letting a woman like you go, and he may even come begging you on his knees for another opportunity. But, he’ll be already positioned in your past, and you won’t be interested in his little comeback at all.
There is only one thing you shouldn’t do right now, and that is to lose faith in true love because it truly exists, and very soon, it’ll come knocking at your door.
Also, while we’re talking about things you shouldn’t do after a breakup, here’s something that might also interest you: Break-Up Recovery: 7 Promising Ways To Get Back On Your Feet.